Boots

[DISCLAIMER]

A friend of mine asked about my opinion regarding the military comedy drama television series Boots (2025), based on the memoir The Pink Marine. Set in the 1990s, the series explores the experience of a gay male’s enlistment in the United States (U.S.) Marine Corps.

Personally, I can’t speak to the lived experience of the main character. Still, my friend knows that I served in the Corps from 1996 to 2007, as I was kicked out of the Marines following a series of administrative and legal problems which arose shortly after my reenlistment.

For the record, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs recognizes my entire Marine Corps enlistment as honorable. Still, given that I went through U.S. Marine Corps Recruit Training in the 90s, my friend asked about the elements Boots got right and wrong.

Unlike the series which focuses on Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island, I attended the all-male (at the time) Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego. This single fact alone disqualifies me from serving as an authoritative source of accuracy or inaccuracy regarding Boots.

Therefore, this blogpost won’t focus on such information. Furthermore, I served under the military “don’t ask, don’t tell” (DADT) policy on military service of homosexual people. Because this matter didn’t impact me, I have nothing meaningful to offer in this regard.

The main thesis of Boots regards a gay male’s perspective in boot camp. Additionally, I’ve come to anticipate the typical villainization of straight white males (SWM) from the entertainment industry. Boots was no exception to this anticipatory perspective, as tired tropes abound!

For instance, a black drill instructor (DI) was generally considered good while white DIs were depicted as bad. A Latina company commander was portrayed as courageous, though the white male general who was her superior was overbearing. Who needs these boring representations?

If a white male was featured in a favorable manner, he had some qualifying feature that rebuffed the SWM architype (e.g., being gay). Divulging any further detailed specifics of Boots herein would require an obligatory spoiler alert. Personally, the series doesn’t warrant such distinction.

In any event, there were three scenes which I think are worth addressing. Each of these regards my approach to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)—a psychotherapeutic modality that uses the ABC model and unconditional acceptance (UA) to resolve self-disturbance.

First, in episode four (“Sink or Swim”), characters Santos and Ochoa discuss the challenge of loneliness when physically separated from loved ones. During the conversation, the former insightfully states, “Boys cry about what should be, men deal with what is.”

In a number of my blogposts, I discuss the subject matter referenced by Santos. Regarding REBT and what people maintain should, must, or ought to be the case when facing what simply is, I stated in a blog entry entitled The Is-Ought Problem:

Scottish Enlightenment philosopher David Hume is credited with having proposed the is-ought problem, also referred to as the is-ought gap, Hume’s law, and Hume’s guillotine. His formula addresses moral or values-based judgements contrasted with non-moral or facts-based observations.

Considering this matter, one source poses the question, “How do descriptive statements (an ‘is’ statement) so quickly turn into prescriptive statements (a ‘should’ statement)?” In a blog entry entitled Description vs. Prescription, I address the difference between descriptive and prescriptive statements.

Practicing [REBT], I assist clients with understanding how their should, must, and ought-type statements often serve as self-disturbing prescriptions of the world. We cannot use moral justification for behavior based on facts about the world.

For example, it’s a fact that everyone you’ve ever known, currently know, and ever will know will die. However, simply because you don’t want this to happen, it would be irrational to state that no one should, must, or ought to die. Life and death is as it is, not as you think it ought to be.

This is the message Santos delivered to Ochoa. Whining about what one unhelpfully believes should be the case is irrational. Therefore, the rational actors among us deal with what simply is—even if (or perhaps especially when) what is happens to be a challenging endeavor.

Second, in episode seven (“Love is a Battlefield”), character Ray interacts with a female recruit when both are injured. The following dialogue then unfolds:

Female recruit: You don’t like mistakes, huh?

Ray: No. Do you?

Female recruit: Can’t hate something you don’t believe it.

Ray: Okay, that’s like saying you don’t believe in… in water or rocks. They exist.

Female recruit: All right, they exist. But it’s not like there’s one correct version of your life.

Ray: You’re the one who said you had to be a Marine.

Female recruit: I said that I want to be a Marine, because I love it. But if I can’t, then I’ll just find something else that I love.

Ray: What? No, that’s… you can’t just… that’s not how you plan your life. You have to have a mission.

Ray’s paradox is that he irrationally believes he must have a plan, and that his plan must go accordingly to itself—which is a matter of the ABC model. Still, because life isn’t perfect—which is a matter of UA, Ray’s plans don’t conform to his standard of demandingness.

Ergo, the more Ray plans, the more his plans are thwarted by life. The more Ray’s plans are thwarted by life, the more he irrationally believes his plans must go according to themselves. When this doesn’t occur as Ray rigidly demands, the more Ray self-disturbs ad infinitum.

This brings me to the last scene in Boots that I think is worth addressing. In order to properly do so, I ask that you forgive me a personal anecdote. Similar to the main character Cameron Cope, I didn’t have some grand plan for joining the Marine Corps.

Among my reasons for enlisting, I was seeking purpose and meaning. However, once I earned the title of Marine while in boot camp, I was invigorated to learn that – as it was outright stated by an officer at the time – once Marines earned our title, no one could take our title from us.

This brings me to episode eight (“The Crucible”), in which a DI issues a motivational speech to newly-titled Marines when stating, “Sweat dries. Blood clots. Bones heal. But what you just earned will never fade. Now, go out there and fuck ‘em with the whole dick! Oorah!”

I admit that the scene captured the eloquence of how DIs spoke to my platoon (3025, kill!!). It is in that essence which I respond, “Bullshit!” If or when the Marine Corps is done fucking you with “the whole dick,” you’ll become as useless to the Corps as a screen door on a submarine.

For many years, ignorant of REBT, I self-disturbed about having been kicked out of the Corps (fucked!!). Mind you, I was stripped of my uniforms, told that I no longer could claim the title of Marine, and I was disapprovingly told that without the Corps I wouldn’t amount to anything.

Not only was I fucked with “the whole dick,” I was tossed aside as an unfavorable lay. In fact, I was fucked twice: Once, by the Corps, and then, I psychologically fucked myself for years afterward. The green weenie was unpleasant, to say the least – not an ounce of lube in sight!

Still, its effect had nothing on my own ability to self-disturb. Fortunately, I eventually discovered REBT and realized that “the whole dick” was never an actual problem for me. Rather, from the perspective of UA, what I told myself about having been kicked out was the issue.

The same is true regarding anyone affected by the DADT policy. In fact, the same is accurate concerning the SWMs about whom Boots blatantly depicts prejudice. The Stoicism perspective of UA maintains that one’s perception of undesirable events is what causes self-disturbance.

Had I understood this crucial lesson years ago, I likely would’ve realized that anyone who can bestow a title of honor to you can also take that title away – thus rendering the title dependent upon one’s approval. Therefore, the title itself is meaningless!

Given my helpful perspective at present, I know whether or not my actions are honorable. I don’t need to undergo rigorous military standards, remain subject to the verdict of a biased military authority, or receive the blessings of a fickle U.S. Department of War. Nor do you!

Ultimately, I didn’t enjoy Boots. It was a bit too subjective for my tastes, as it transparently pushed an agenda unrelated to my experience. Nonetheless, I appreciate the three REBT-style psychoeducational lessons away with which I walked. May these lessons serve you well. Oorah!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, property of Netflix and Sony Pictures Television, fair use

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