Self-Love and Self-Acceptance

[DISCLAIMER]

The above photo was taken during my senior year of high school, as I resided with a family who allowed me to live with them after my residency at a children’s home. By that point in my life, I’d wanted to kill myself for almost a decade. Looking at the picture, I see sadness in my eyes.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), sadness is defines as “an emotional state of unhappiness, ranging in intensity from mild to extreme and usually aroused by the loss of something that is highly valued (e.g., by the rupture of a relationship).”

Many professionals within the shared field or mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”) may hypothesize about how my chronic exposure to traumatic events in childhood caused my sadness and apparent lack of self-love. Yet, I disagree.

The APA first defines self-love as “regard for and interest in one’s own being or contentment” and secondly as “excessive self-regard, or a narcissistic attitude toward one’s body, abilities, or personality.” I somewhat accept the former definition while partially rejecting the latter.

Regarding the psychotherapeutic modality I favor, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), professional practitioners of the model may also advocate self-love in addition to self-acceptance. Notably, not all elements of these two concepts are synonymous.

According to the APA, self-acceptance is defined as “a relatively objective sense or recognition of one’s abilities and achievements, together with acknowledgment and acceptance of one’s limitations.” The synonymous thread regarding self-love and self-acceptance concerns ability.

Per the APA, ability is defined as “existing competence or skill to perform a specific physical or mental act.” Given these definitional standards, I accept self-regard (consideration of oneself) in the interest of one’s own abilities to function as a self-determined and autonomous individual.

In short, I practice self-acceptance regarding acknowledgement of my ability to improve myself. Similarly, I reject excessive self-regard relating to a narcissistic attitude concerning oneself. For context, the APA succinctly defines narcissism as “excessive self-love or egocentrism.” 

Likewise, the APA defines egocentrism as “the tendency to emphasize one’s own needs, concerns, and outcomes rather than those of others.” The distinctive factor relating to my rejection of an element of self-love regards “excessive” emphasis of oneself over others.

Noteworthy, I approach this matter rationally (in accordance with both logic and reason). Logic is the interrelation or sequence of facts or events when seen as inevitable or predictable, and reason is a statement offered in explanation or justification.

For instance, a modus ponens syllogism uses the logical form: If p, then q; p; therefore, q. Noteworthy, when using this logical form, it’s inferred that premises p and q follow without completing the syllogistic form.

Thus, merely proposing ‘if p, then q’ assumes to represent truth about reality. As an example, if an individual values self-love (p), then the person will place one’s own desires and needs above the interests and necessities of others (q).

Depending on context, this logical proposition may be considered reasonable. For instance, proposing example 1, if I practice self-love (p), then I won’t stay awake past my self-care bedtime when person X wants me to (q). I maintain that this is a rational perspective.

Alternatively, offering example 2, if I practice excessive self-love (p), then I’ll steal person X’s money, because I value my desires over the needs of others (q). While both examples 1 and 2 are logical, I argue that example 2 isn’t reasonable, due to subjective immorality, as it’s irrational.

When further contemplating this matter, I consider what psychologist Orion Taraban recently stated in a video on his YouTube channel PsycHacks. Before sharing his insight, know that I agree with his conceptualization. Regarding self-love, he stated:

Self-love, like love, is a concept that gets thrown around a lot without deep consideration as to its real meaning. But it’s actually quite simple. If love is sacrifice for the good of the other, then self-love is sacrifice for the good of the self. That’s it.

And this means that self-love is generally not about doing what feels pleasurable or relaxing in the moment. It’s about sacrificing certain things now for the betterment of the self now and in the future.

In the context of modus ponens example 1, I interpret Taraban’s outlook as relating to rational self-love. This is antithetical to the irrational and narcissistic self-love reflected in modus ponens example 2. Unhelpfully, this distinction was lost on me during my youth.

In fact, I didn’t endorse either form of self-love defined herein. Rather, I maintained self-hatred. For perspective, one source thusly describes this term:

The term “self-hatred” is used infrequently by psychologists and psychiatrists, who would usually describe people who hate themselves as “people with low self-esteem”. Self-hate or self-loathing is characterized by persistent negative thoughts or feelings directed toward oneself, often involving intense self-criticism and self-judgment.

It can typically manifest as a recurring internal dialogue that emphasizes one’s personal flaws, mistakes, and perceived shortcomings. Individuals experiencing self-hate may have a heightened focus on negative aspects of themselves and their experiences, while minimizing or disregarding positive attributes or achievements.

These thought patterns can affect an individual’s overall worldview and emotional well-being. In some cases, individuals may not be consciously aware of the extent or impact of these cognitive patterns.

Within this source is a term extensively addressed in REBT literature: self-esteem. According to the APA, self-esteem is thusly defined:

[T]he degree to which the qualities and characteristics contained in one’s self-concept are perceived to be positive. It reflects a person’s physical self-image, view of their accomplishments and capabilities, and values and perceived success in living up to them, as well as the ways in which others view and respond to that person.

The more positive the cumulative perception of these qualities and characteristics, the higher one’s self-esteem. A reasonably high degree of self-esteem is considered an important ingredient of mental health, whereas low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness are common depressive symptoms.

While I accept the view of self-love in rationally considering one’s own interests and goals while rejecting irrationally favoring one’s own desires and objectives, I don’t value self-esteem. Rather, I prefer one of the two major techniques used in REBT.

Specifically, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering which is known as self-disturbance. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Additionally, UA is an antidote to self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing. Each of these unfavorable appraisal mechanisms serve the irrational belief known as global evaluation. For example, “Either I have to be loved by others, or I’m altogether unlovable!” That’s self-downing.

As the APA regards self-acceptance as recognition of one’s abilities and achievements, together with acknowledgment and acceptance of one’s limitations, REBT maintains that USA disregards unhelpful conditions (premises upon which the fulfillment of an agreement depends).

Using a conditional belief (either p or q), consider the following example. Either you absolutely must love yourself as a component of self-acceptance (p), or you don’t deserve tolerance and acceptance of your shortcomings as a fallible human being (q).

This is a rigid condition that is antithetical to USA. Alternatively, consider the following modus ponens syllogism. If you accept yourself without unhelpful conditions (p), then self-love isn’t necessary for self-acceptance, because you’re worthy of being accepted as is (q).

Understandably, many professionals within the mental health field may argue that my chronic exposure to traumatic events in childhood caused my sadness and apparent lack of self-love. Yet, regarding the ABC model of REBT, inflexible conditions better explain my childhood outcome.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and one Believes an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s one’s unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. In my youth, I disturbed myself with conditions.

Addressing how people upset themselves in such a way, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Ultimately, reflecting upon my high school graduation photo used for this post, I could’ve benefitted from USA. Self-love had little (if anything) to do with it. Still, some REBT practitioners may disagree. For instance, I stated in a post entitled Self-Love and Self-Respect:

I have no qualms about admitting that I don’t agree with everything expressed by the late psychologist Albert Ellis who developed [REBT] – the psychotherapeutic modality that I practice in both my personal and professional life. For instance, along with his author of the book Creative Marriage, Ellis advocated self-love and self-respect [a feeling of self-worth and self-esteem, especially a proper regard for one’s values, character, and dignity]. […]

In a blogpost entitled Must You Tolerate Abuse? I stated, “Using my approach to REBT, I’m not interested in promoting self-love or even self-esteem.” Even Ellis once stated that “self-esteem, as against self-acceptance, is one of the worst sicknesses ever invented.”

In a blog entry entitled Disconfirmation, I stated, “I focus less on self-esteem and more on [USA]. Maybe people really don’t like you. Can you tolerate and accept it if this were true?” […]

There’s nothing inherently wrong with self-love or self-respect. In fact, it may be quite pleasing to experience both of these qualities. Nevertheless, even when living within a society whereby love and respect may be highly sought after, I advocate USA rather than self- love or self-respect. […] I stated in a blogpost entitled That’s What My Therapist on TikTok Tells Me:

Although I advocate [UA] – a core tenet of REBT that encourages unconditional self-, other-, and life-acceptance as a means of reducing self-disturbance – I don’t promote the concept of self-love.

For instance, suppose you don’t like or love yourself. Perhaps you don’t unhelpfully demand that you should be some other way. Rather, you just don’t love yourself like people on TikTok declare that you should.

Also, you don’t use awfulizing by considering your life a terrible, horrible, or awful existence. As well, you aren’t unproductively convincing yourself that you can’t stand life, using the self-disturbing belief category of low frustration tolerance.

Instead, you simply don’t love yourself. With this outlook, you aren’t necessarily issuing a global evaluation regarding the essence of your being. You don’t say to yourself, “I’m a piece of shit!” Instead, you merely conclude that you don’t love yourself even if you’re a lovable person.

I argue that you can love, care for, and help other people even if you lack self-love, self-respect, self-worth, or self-esteem—as each of these concepts are heavily intertwined. Not only regarding personal anecdotes, have I observed this process unfold in the lives of other people.

This I maintain even though Ellis and his coauthor expressly state that “to the psychologist it is clear that a person who does not distinctly love and respect himself cannot truly love and respect, or fully see the point of view of, another human being” (page 80). Bullshit!

Alas, REBT isn’t a psychotherapeutic modality that requires practitioners to agree with one another. Ellis and his coauthor of Creative Marriage maintained their perspective and I favor my own outlook.

Colloquially, love is defined as strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. Self-love is merely this effect toward oneself. Likewise, in common parlance, hatred is defined as extreme dislike or disgust. Self-hatred is thus this effect toward oneself.

One who neither loves nor hates oneself may be neutral (unaligned with a particular perspective). Per one source, “Self-neutrality, as opposed to self-compassion or self-criticism, encourages you to let yourself notice your thoughts with pure objectivity and no additional aims.”

While I remain skeptical of any flawed human’s ability to attain “pure objectivity,” I appreciate the perspective of the source’s concept regarding self-neutrality. It at least offers a reasonable alternative to self-love, self-acceptance, self-hatred, self-esteem, self-respect, and so forth.

In conclusion, I retained a significant amount of self-hatred in my youth. Though some of my peers within the mental health field may disagree with my view, to include professional REBT practitioners and theorists, I maintain that self-acceptance is what’s kept me alive all these years.

Currently, I don’t love myself. I don’t hate myself either. Similarly, I don’t pay much mind to self-esteem. And while self-respect is something I use without inflexible conditions, it’s been self-acceptance (of the unconditional variety) which has been most beneficial in my life.

Inopportunely, major depressive disorder (recurrent) has resulted in the same suicidal thoughts bouncing around in my head since the age of nine. Apparently, this lifelong ideation (the process of forming ideas and images) will be with me until I inevitably die. This, too, I accept.

Presuming you understand what I’ve advocated in the blogpost, I invite you to contemplate the psychoeducational lesson contained herein. Even if you have a lasting internal script of wanting to punch out of life, you can tolerate and accept the unpleasant experience.

Equally, you don’t have to love yourself or life itself. Can you unconditionally accept yourself (USA)? Can you unconditionally accept life (ULA)? If so, then I encourage you to daily practice these REBT elements. Personally, I’m practicing it as I write!

Even when there’s sadness in your eyes, as to reflect a proverbial storm within your mind, you can whether the storm by practicing UA. Besides, rain doesn’t fall without moments of sunshine. Also, if you’d like to know more about REBT, then I look forward to hearing from you.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

AEI. (n.d.). About Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://albertellis.org/about-albert-ellis-phd/

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Ability. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/ability

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Egocentrism. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/egocentrism

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Ideation. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/ideation

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2023, November 15). Narcissism. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/narcissism

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Sadness. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/sadness

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Self-acceptance. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/self-acceptance

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2023, November 15). Self-esteem. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/self-esteem

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Self-love. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/self-love

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Self-respect. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/self-respect

Ellis, A. (2005). The myth of self-esteem: How rational emotive behavior therapy can change your life forever. Prometheus. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-myth-of-self-esteem-how-rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-can-change-your-life-forever-d195237477.html

Ellis, A. and Harper, R. A. (1961). Creative Marriage. The Institute For Rational Living, Inc. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/creative-marriage-e184052310.html

Halasz, G. (2004, December). In conversation with Dr Albert Ellis. Australian Psychiatry. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/227984238_In_Conversation_with_Dr_Albert_Ellis

Hardwarner, M. T. (2007, August 28). Punch out. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=punch%20out

Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Absolutistic should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/absolutistic-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/acceptance

Hollings, D. (2025, October 19). Adhering to invisible scripts. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/adhering-to-invisible-scripts

Hollings, D. (2023, October 6). Arguing attributes of ability. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/arguing-attributes-of-ability

Hollings, D. (2024, November 15). Assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/assumptions

Hollings, D. (2024, November 24). Automatic thoughts and beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/automatic-thoughts-and-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing

Hollings, D. (2022, November 18). Big T, little t. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/big-t-little-t

Hollings, D. (2025, May 7). C is for contentment and that’s good enough for me. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/c-is-for-contentment-and-that-s-good-enough-for-me

Hollings, D. (2023, July 2). Can’t go out sad. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/can-t-go-out-sad

Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern

Hollings, D. (2024, July 11). Concern and no concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/concern-and-no-concern

Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Conditional should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/conditional-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2025, October 3). Control and influence: A soft center and coated in a candy shell. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/control-and-influence-a-soft-center-and-coated-in-a-candy-shell

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2025, June 17). Daily practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/daily-practice

Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness

Hollings, D. (2025, October 31). Depression and reasoned choice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/depression-and-reasoned-choice

Hollings, D. (2024, October 21). Desire. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/desire

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2024, January 15). Disconfirmation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disconfirmation

Hollings, D. (2025, March 9). Factual and counterfactual beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/factual-and-counterfactual-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2025, March 5). Five major characteristics of four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/five-major-characteristics-of-four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Global evaluations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/global-evaluations

Hollings, D. (2025, September 7). Have to. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/have-to

Hollings, D. (2024, August 9). Healthy concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/healthy-concern

Hollings, D. (2025, September 22). Hey you! You’re losing your mind! Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/hey-you-you-re-losing-your-mind

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2025, July 23). Indifference: How much more relaxed would you be? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/indifference-how-much-more-relaxed-would-you-be

Hollings, D. (2024, May 10). Inferred meaning. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/inferred-meaning

Hollings, D. (2024, January 2). Interests and goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interests-and-goals

Hollings, D. (2024, September 26). Interpreted reality. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interpreted-reality

Hollings, D. (2025, April 23). Judgment. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/judgment

Hollings, D. (2025, March 4). Justification. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/justification

Hollings, D. (2024, January 5). Know the limits. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/know-the-limits

Hollings, D. (2025, October 13). Knowledge, wisdom, understanding. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/knowledge-wisdom-understanding

Hollings, D. (2025, January 14). Level of functioning and quality of life. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/level-of-functioning-and-quality-of-life

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2025, January 8). Life-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-downing

Hollings, D. (2022, December 9). Like it, love it, accept it. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/like-it-love-it-accept-it

Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason

Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (2024, March 4). Mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mental-emotional-and-behavioral-health

Hollings, D. (2025, November 16). Mental health, mental illness, and mental disorder. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mental-health-mental-illness-and-mental-disorder

Hollings, D. (2024, October 14). Mistakes. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mistakes

Hollings, D. (2025, March 16). Modus ponens. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/modus-ponens

Hollings, D. (2023, October 2). Morals and ethics. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/morals-and-ethics

Hollings, D. (2024, July 8). Must you tolerate abuse? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/must-you-tolerate-abuse

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2025, August 2). My philosophy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-philosophy

Hollings, D. (2023, September 20). No B.S. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/no-b-s

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2023, April 24). On truth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-truth

Hollings, D. (2025, January 7). Other-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/other-downing

Hollings, D. (2023, November 22). Personality disorders. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personality-disorders

Hollings, D. (2025, October 27). Physiological and psychological fitness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/physiological-and-psychological-fitness

Hollings, D. (2025, May 3). Predictability of logic. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/predictability-of-logic

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2025, August 13). Rational versus irrational thoughts and beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-versus-irrational-thoughts-and-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, March 14). REBT and emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-and-emotions

Hollings, D. (2024, July 18). REBT flexibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-flexibility

Hollings, D. (2024, February 22). Relax your mind, let your conscious be free. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/relax-your-mind-let-your-conscious-be-free

Hollings, D. (2023, February 17). Revisiting the circle of control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/revisiting-the-circle-of-control

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2024, May 6). Self-care. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-care

Hollings, D. (2024, May 26). Self-determination and autonomy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-determination-and-autonomy

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2025, January 6). Self-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-downing

Hollings, D. (2025, August 3). Self-esteem and self-worth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-esteem-and-self-worth

Hollings, D. (2024, November 3). Self-love and self-respect. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-love-and-self-respect

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2025, October 27). Suicide and suicide attempts: Jumping out the window. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/suicide-and-suicide-attempts-jumping-out-the-window

Hollings, D. (2023, October 17). Syllogism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/syllogism

Hollings, D. (2024, October 3). That’s what my therapist on TikTok tells me. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/that-s-what-my-therapist-on-tiktok-tells-me

Hollings, D. (2023, September 6). The absence of suffering. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-absence-of-suffering

Hollings, D. (2024, November 14). The logic doesn’t follow. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-logic-doesn-t-follow

Hollings, D. (2024, February 6). This ride inevitably ends. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/this-ride-inevitably-ends

Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/__tna

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux

Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2025, February 9). Value. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/value

Hollings, D. (2023, May 3). Want vs. need. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/want-vs-need

Hollings, D. (2025, July 11). Weather the storm. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/weather-the-storm

Hollings, D. (2025, April 12). What’s the big idea? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/what-s-the-big-idea

Hollings, D. (2023, September 22). You’re gonna die someday. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-re-gonna-die-someday

Open Lines Counseling. (2025, March 11). Self-neutrality: An alternative to self-compassion. Retrieved from https://www.openlinescounseling.com/blog/self-neutrality

PsycHacks [@psychacks]. (n.d.). PsycHacks [Official YouTube channel]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/@psychacks

Taraban, O. (n.d.). Orion Taraban, Psy.D. [Official website]. Retrieved from https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/

Taraban, O. (2025, November 14). You can’t cheat yourself: understanding self love [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/_hQMjN_6xa4?si=B4REiQ5TjCKjkvrN

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Self-hatred. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-hatred

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Stephen Covey. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Covey