Impugning Motive: Swallowing a Toad

[DISCLAIMER]

Quite often, when paying attention to arguments which take place during civil discourse, I observe people impugning (assailing by words or arguments: opposing or attacking as false or lacking integrity) motives (something, such as a need or desire, which causes a person to act).

For instance, person 1 will state argument X. In response, person 2 will attack with argument Y. As an example, person 1 states, “I think we need to tone down the sociopolitical temperature in our country.” Person 2 replies, “You’re just saying that, because you don’t value free speech!”

Impugning motive, rather than considering the argument, is what one source describes as follows: “Appeal to motive is a pattern of argument which consists in challenging a thesis by calling into question the motives of its proposer.” Such argumentation is an informal fallacy.

When this form of irrational (both illogical and unreasonable) discourse unfolds, people tend to lose sight of the topic at hand. Instead, one (or even both) parties engage in ad hominem attacks (appealing to feelings or prejudices rather than intellect). Such behavior isn’t productive.

As I’ve observed since the murder of Charlie Kirk, many people with whom I share a nation apparently believe that impugning motive is just cause for unlawfully and unjustifiably killing (i.e., murdering) another human. Thinking further about this matter, I’m reminded of a book. 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

I maintain that applying wisdom of Stoic philosophers could be one solution to the matter of impugning motive which I’ve witnessed recently. For instance, authors of The Daily Stoic quote ancient Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius who stated (page 114):

When you first rise in the morning tell yourself: I will encounter busybodies, ingrates, egomaniacs, liars, the jealous and cranks. They are all stricken with these afflictions because they don’t know the difference between good and evil.

Because I have understood the beauty of good and the ugliness of evil, I know that these wrong-doers are still akin to me . . . and that none can do me harm, or implicate me in ugliness—nor can I be angry at my relatives or hate them. For we are made for cooperation.

Given the perspective of Aurelius, it’s of little wonder to me why the late psychologist who developed REBT, Albert Ellis, founded this psychotherapeutic modality in Stoicism. Regarding Aurelius’s perspective, authors of The Daily Stoic add (page 114):

You can be certain as clockwork that at some point today you’re going to interact with someone who seems like a jerk (as we all have been). The question is: Are you going to be ready for it?

This exercise calls to mind a joke from the eighteenth-century writer and witticist Nicolas Chamfort, who remarked that if you “swallow a toad every morning,” you’ll be fortified against anything else disgusting that might happen the rest of the day.

Might it not be better to understand up front—right when you wake up—that other people often behave in selfish or ignorant ways (the toad) than it is to nibble it throughout the day?

In consideration of this worldview, I use daily practice of the ABC model and unconditional acceptance (UA), the two main techniques of REBT, to keep from self-upsetting about instances of impugned motive. Before demonstrating a specific example, further context is needed.

First, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as self-disturbance.

As an example, imagine that I observed people impugning motive of those individuals who oppose sociopolitical violence (Action) and I unhelpfully Believed, “People absolutely shouldn’t condone murder, because that’s an awful perspective regarding civil discourse!”

When using this unaccommodating self-narrative, I then became fearful for the future, felt tightness in my chest, and lashed out at people who advocated the supposed benefits of sociopolitical murder (Consequence). That sounds like a pretty self-disturbed outcome to me.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

The process of challenging personal philosophies of life can take longer than I care to demonstrate herein. Therefore, in the interest of time, imagine that after a period of rigorous Disputation I concluded:

Although people preferably shouldn’t impugn motive or condone murder, it isn’t as though they absolutely shouldn’t do so. After all, it’s a matter of free speech to glorify political violence – without direct calls to murderous action. Besides, that’s precisely what occurs when our nation opposes a perceived enemy.

Why would matters be any different when citizens of our nation oppose one another? While I may not agree with irrational arguments which lead to the unnecessary loss of life, I can understand how people draw such conclusions.

And while I don’t appreciate that sort of stance regarding civil discourse, it’s not awful when this form of self-disturbed outcome develops. As such, I can tolerate and accept that people think differently than I – especially when not wanting to disturb myself.

Second, REBT uses UA to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

Whereas the ABC model is a scientific approach to wellness, UA serves as a philosophical method for un-disturbing yourself. I view the former as an abortive approach to disturbance and the latter as a preventative method. Of course, not all REBT practitioners use the same style as I.

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

As I’ve illustrated an Effective new belief stemming from the rigorous process of Disputation, while not demonstrating Disputation itself, I now invite you to consider an Effective new belief that follows use of UA:

I have no control and little influence over people who impugn motives and advocate sociopolitical violence (USA). As well, the actions of other people don’t control or influence me unless I allow such impact (UOA). Also, life is imperfect, so disagreeable actions will inevitably exist (ULA).

The healthy REBT techniques I’ve shown herein are arguably preferable to the unhealthy experience of self-disturbance. Though not outright invoking REBT tools, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude their appeal to the swallowing a toad motif (i.e., acceptance) thusly (page 114):

But there is a second part to this, just as there is a second half of Marcus’s quote: “No one can implicate me in ugliness—nor can I be angry at my relative or hate him.” The point of this preparation is not to write off everyone in advance. It’s that, maybe, because you’ve prepared for it, you’ll be able to act with patience, forgiveness, and understanding.

Through practice of REBT, which is steeped in the wisdom of Stoicism, you can proverbially swallow a toad (i.e., unconditionally accept) that people who impugn motives and call for sociopolitical violence will inevitably exist. You don’t have to appreciate their existence.

Likewise, you don’t have to upset yourself with unfavorable beliefs about their arguments, behavior, or existence. This is how I keep from self-disturbing when observing arguments wherein impugned motive occurs. I’ve already axiomatically swallowed a toad, so I’m okay.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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