It’s Called EDM, Not ESM, But I’ll Unconditionally Accept It Either Way

[DISCLAIMER]

When recently discussing electronic dance music (EDM) with client X, I employed the psychotherapeutic technique of professional use of self by briefly mentioning my former hobby as a DJ and period of time in my life when I attended nightclubs, festivals, and raves.

As client X is also a fan of EDM, I said, “Back in my day,” at the risk of sounding like an old fogy, “we understood that it was called ‘electronic dance music’ for a reason, not ESM—electronic stand, or sway, or stare-at-the-DJ music!” Client X laughed, though concurred.

Apparently, my client has observed a similar phenomenon whereby people in modernity attend venues at which EDM is played, yet they merely stand still, sway back and forth, or stare at the DJ. The simply don’t dance! For example, I recently watched an EDM DJ set spun by Berko.

Photo credit, fair use

Her music selection was slow enough for a crowd to dance without tiring, yet not so slow that I found it boring. Still, attendees at her event possibly thought of her music as ESM. Alas, this matter will serve as a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).

I now invite you to consider that REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding my circle of control and USA, I can control my reaction to disappointment stemming from my rational beliefs about a lethargic crowd. Concerning my circle of influence and UOA, I’m likely unable to influence people to dance, especially if they don’t want move their bodies.

Relating to my circle of concern and ULA, I realize that the past is passed, and no one has to dance as I did when attending nightclubs, festivals, and raves. As for my area of no concern, that’s an imaginary realm that doesn’t require my consideration, because it isn’t real.

“When I danced to EDM,” I told client X, “I’d stumble home in the morning, after a long night of tearin’ up the dancefloor, wring out my clothing, hang the items up to dry, take a quick shower, and then pass-the-fuck-out!” Client X laughed a lot at that bit of info.

Nonetheless, my story isn’t everyone else’s story. Therefore, from a UA perspective, people are free to treat EDM as ESM. I’ll unconditionally accept the outcome either way. Now, I invite you to consider use of UA in your own life, especially regarding therapists who cuss in their sessions.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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