Whatever's Whispered in Darkness Has to Come to Light

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

On his debut album Freddie Foxxx Is Here (1989), lyricist Freddie Foxxx (also known as Bumpy Knuckles) released the track “I’m Ready” that sampled “I’m Gonna Love You Just a Little More Baby” (1973) by Barry White and “You Gotta Come Out Fresh” (1986) by Supreme Force.

In the song, Bumpy Knuckles addressed what is known as ‘biting’ in rap. Describing this term, one source refers to it as “copying another rap artist’s lyrics in a plagiaristic form. This is often done while rapping ‘freestyle,” as lyrics of “I’m Ready” state:

Street rappers hear a style that they like a lot

When they make that first record, their rhymes are hot

Not hot like you hear it on the radio all the time

But hot like stolen rhymes

Whatever’s whispered in darkness has to come to light

So imagine what would happen if I gave you the mic

One night, and you recite somethin’ you didn’t write

If it belonged to Freddie Foxxx, you might have to fight

I throw jabs and rights, left hooks and haymakers

Only luck can duck the bone-breaker

In the cited lyrics, Bumpy Knuckles uses two demandingness phrases. First, he states that “whatever’s whispered in darkness has to come to light.” This form of flexible demand represents an empirical should statement.

It acknowledges that all conditions are in place for what happened to have happened. Thus, the lyricist expresses recognition of his flexible belief that secrets should eventually be revealed. Of course, I’m not assessing the veracity of this claim. Rather, I’m merely addressing the demand.

Second, Bumpy Knuckles states that if a rapper’s bitten verse “belonged to Freddie Foxxx, you might have to fight.” This form of inflexible demand represents a conditional should statement. Generally, such beliefs use a limiting form of if-then or either-or construct.

For instance, the lyricist ostensibly states that if a rapper bites a Bumpy Knuckles rhyme, then the rapper absolutely should expect a fight. Stated differently, either a rapper doesn’t bite a Bumpy Knuckles rhyme, or the rapper absolutely should expect a fight.

I appreciate that the lyricist utilized both flexible and inflexible beliefs, so that I could provide a psychoeducational lesson regarding demandingness distinctions. Presuming you understand the difference, I invite you to pay closer attention to your “has to” and “have to” beliefs.  

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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