Outcome: Victim Mentality and Playing the Victim

[DISCLAIMER]

*Outcome (2026) spoilers contained herein.

Photo credit, property of Apple Studios, Apple TV, and Strong Baby Productions, fair use

When discussing mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I often discuss what it is to be a victim (an individual who is the target of another person’s violent, discriminatory, harassing, or assaultive behaviors). There’s a reason that I address this matter.

I posit that there’s a difference between (1) being a victim and (2) using a victim mentality (an attitude or way of thinking, especially one that is seen as limited in some way). This is a relevant distinction when considering an outcome (something that follows as a result or consequence).

As an example, if someone assaults and batters person X, then person X may be the victim of a crime. However, if person X thereafter plays the role of a victim while expecting privileged treatment, then person X may be subject to victim mentality. For context, one source states:

Victim mentality, victim complex or victimese is a psychological concept referring to a mindset in which a person, or group of people, tends to recognize or consider themselves a victim of the actions of others.

The term is also used in reference to the tendency for blaming one’s misfortunes on somebody else’s misdeeds, which is also referred to as victimism. It can develop as a defense mechanism to cope with negative life events.

Victim mentality can be developed from abuse and situations during childhood through adulthood. Similarly, criminals often engage in victim thinking, believing themselves to be moral and engaging in crime only as a reaction to an immoral world and furthermore feeling that authorities are unfairly singling them out for persecution.

This mentality could also be branched from patterns of trauma which could make oneself feel like a victim. Characteristics of the victimhood mindset have been observed at the group level, although not all individual-level traits apply.

One point of clarity I’ll offer regarding that description is that people aren’t left “feeling that authorities are unfairly signaling them out for persecution,” and that an individual doesn’t “feel like a victim.” These sentences misuse feelings-based terms.

A “feeling” relates to either: 1. Emotion (i.e., joy, fear, anger, sorrow, disgust, surprise, etc.) or 2. Sensation (e.g., tightened or stiffened jaw). If the word “feel” (or any derivative thereof) can be replaced with “hunch,” “thought,” or “belief” (or any derivative thereof), then it’s not a feeling.

Thus, it’s improper to say something along the lines of “I feel like you did that to get back at me,” because what one typically intends on communicating is “I believe that you did that to get back at me.” Point of clarity aside, I now invite you to consider what another source states:

Playing the victim (also known as victim playing, victim card, or self-victimization) is the perceived fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse to others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy, attention seeking or diffusion of responsibility. A person who repeatedly does this is known as a professional victim.

I challenge beliefs which lead to maladaptive emotions and behavior regarding victim mentality of those who engage in playing the victim. Personally, it’s no measure of mental health to partake in dis-empowering self-victimhood. Thus, I advocate taking ownership of one’s own outcome.

When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I use personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”). For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.

Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.

Also, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct. Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.

When providing psychoeducational lessons on REBT, a psychotherapeutic modality which arguably requires that one preferably should take personal ownership in order to reduce self-distress or self-disturbance, I lean heavily on both responsibility and accountability.

This is because I maintain that people have personal agency (a person’s ability to control one’s own reactions to activating events which are beyond one’s own dominion, especially when one’s response is limited by someone or something else). This is a matter of self-empowerment.

According to one source, “People who constantly blame other people or situations for the events in their lives have a victim mentality.” Regarding such nonadaptive behavior, I stated in Who Is the One to Blame?:

I’ve spoken with individuals in a personal and professional capacity that illogically and unreasonably maintain the notion that other people somehow should, must, or ought to be blamed for one’s own reaction to distressing events. Perhaps these individuals misunderstand REBT.

Regarding my approach to this psychotherapeutic modality, I don’t maintain that people aren’t to blame for specific events. As an example, if your mom, dad, or other caregiver abused you as a child that individual is to blame for having perpetrated abuse.

To my fellow REBT practitioners, I’m merely defining blame as the act of holding (a) person(s) responsible. Responsibility is the quality or state of being the cause or explanation for an activating event.

On the other hand, accountability is merely the quality or state of being answerable. Thus, in the abuse example, an authority figure from childhood may be held morally, ethically, or legally responsible for the perpetration of abuse while also remaining accountable for the action.

Nevertheless, that same person in a position of authority who abused you isn’t to be blamed for your reaction to the abuse. In the dialectic tradition, two opposing things can be true at once.

A person can be to blame for abuse of an individual while the abused individual can take personal ownership for one’s own reaction to the abusive treatment. Of course, my fellow REBT practitioners may disagree with my framing of this matter. All the same, what I’m advocating herein isn’t incongruous with what one REBT source states:

Let’s get the bad news out of the way . . . We have to face it: it feels really good to blame other people for our problems, to say, “My boss/spouse/child/customer service representative made me so angry!” That’s because it feels good not to take responsibility for our emotional reactions.

However, if we subscribe to the theory espoused by Al[bert Ellis] (who credits it to the Greek philosopher Epictetus), we can’t blame others for our reactions. Ultimately, we are responsible for how we react emotionally and behaviorally. Well, that’s no fun.

As such, one’s boss/spouse/child/customer service representative very well may’ve wronged you—being responsible or blameworthy for an event. However, it’s you and only you who is personally responsible and accountable for your reaction to the event.

A victim mentality and playing the victim isn’t conducive to personal ownership of one’s own outcome. Understandably, though not appropriately, many people simply opt to self-victimize. According to one source, this sort of outcome may be characterized by three elements:

1. Seeing ourselves as being powerless in a situation where we actually have resources and options to do more than we are doing;

2. Seeing ourselves as innocent parties on the receiving end of someone else’s misbehavior without recognizing our contribution to the struggle we’re engaged in;

3. Developing an identity that is based upon grievance and complaint, which may indeed be true in part, but which also serves to define us through a sense of limitation, lack, and injustice.

If any of these elements sound familiar to you, then it may be worth noting that you aren’t alone. Many people entertain a victim mentality and engage in playing the victim. It’s so familiar that this unproductive behavior is often represented in various forms of entertainment.

For instance, when watching the black comedy film Outcome (2026), I was reminded of just how common these actions are. Describing a summary of the film one source states:

“Outcome” is a dark comedy that centers on Reef Hawk (Keanu Reeves), a beloved Hollywood star who must dive into the depths of his hidden demons after he is extorted with a mysterious video that’s sure to shatter his image and end his career.

With the support of his lifelong besties Kyle (Cameron Diaz) and Xander (Matt Bomer), along with his crisis lawyer Ira (Jonah Hill), Reef embarks on a soul-searching journey to make amends with anyone he could have possibly wronged in hopes of identifying the blackmailer.

Co-writer and director Hill brings a unique lens to Reef’s wild but spiritually cleansing, nostalgic and eye-opening trip down memory lane, where confronting his past might be the only way to rescue his future.

While I found lighting of this film to be the subjectively most appealing aspect of the overall movie, I suspect Outcome may appeal more to those individuals who appreciate the pretentiousness of a Hollywood subculture. In other words, I’m not the film’s target audience.

Nevertheless, I gleaned from the self-absorbed film a psychoeducational lesson on victim mentality and playing the victim. During a scene honoring representation associated with diversity, equity, inclusivity, and accessibility, a preposterous statement was made.

While an eclectic cast of public relations (PR) employees strategizes with Reef about how to salvage his reputation, one individual states, “We ran the numbers. It turns out that hating Jews doesn’t negatively influence a person’s career. In fact, it could even help.”

The notion of antisemitism in modern Hollywood is, as one source states, “Not even wrong [as it] refers to any statement, argument, or explanation that can be neither correct nor incorrect, because it fails to meet the criteria by which correctness and incorrectness are determined.”

The aforementioned Outcome scene was ostensibly a victim mentality trope by which (a) character(s) engaged in playing the victim, as though Jewish people are somehow oppressed within the entertainment industry. That’s not even wrong, it’s so preposterous!

In a later scene with the PR employees, it’s revealed that Reef had been recorded while masturbating, and without his consent. This constitutes an actual case of victimhood. Nonetheless, members of the PR team then promote a victim mentality and playing the victim.

The term “victim capitalism” is introduced by one PR employee. She states, “Victimhood—the only way you can become rich and famous in this culture is to be a victim. The best thing you can be in our modern society is a victim!” The PR team then plans how to exploit Reef’s situation.

Where Reef is an actual victim of nonconsensual or invasive visual recording, he’s then encouraged to adopt a victim mentality while playing the victim. Using this example, I now turn toward two major tools used in REBT that are arguably more appropriate than victim capitalism.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to upset themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

From an A-C view, Reef is non-consensually filmed masturbating (Action) which provides video evidence of his orgasm (Consequence). He is thus a victim. However, the B-C connection better explains how an individual in this circumstance may experience distress or disturbance.

Reef becomes a victim (Action) and hypothetically Believes, “My life is over [G], and I can’t stand this [L], because it’s dreadful [A], so I should use my status as a victim to garner sympathy [D],” as this script then results in a victim mentality and playing the victim (Consequence).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Additionally, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding the circle of control and USA, Reef could realize that the only element in life over which he has control is his reaction to events. Concerning the circle of influence and UOA, he may or may not be able to convince people not to treat him poorly, though without guarantees.

Pertaining to the circle of concern and ULA, Reef could admit that many unfavorable events happen in one’s impermanent and uncertain existence which he can neither control nor influence. As for the area of no concern, well… it’s of no concern!

Using UA, Reef doesn’t have to dis-empoweringly adopt a victim mentality or engage in playing the victim. He can partake in self-empowering ownership while still remaining an actual victim of wrongdoing by other people. The same is true for you. So, what outcome do you prefer?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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