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It Won’t Matter, Because You’ll Be Long Gone

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 12 hours ago
  • 7 min read

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

Ancient and modern Stoics tend not to shy away from the topic of death. Colloquially speaking, someone is said to be “gone” once they die. After a relatively lengthy period of time has passed, one is said to be “long gone.” With this in mind, Marcus Aurelius stated (page 320):

 

People don’t want to praise their contemporaries [marked by characteristics of the present period] whose lives they actually share, but hold great expectations for the praise of future generations—people they haven’t met or ever will! This is akin to being upset that past generations didn’t praise you.

 

Are you disregarding the opinions of people with whom you currently share an existence, all while imagining what people in the future may think about you or your image? If so, Aurelius likens this to self-distressing or self-disturbing about what people in the past thought.

 

“Deric,” my late mother often told me in the past, “you’ll never amount to anything!” For a period of time, before learning about REBT, I upset myself with irrational beliefs about her opinion. As a child, I’d say to myself, “I’m gonna show her one day! I’ll be something!”

 

When focusing on how my mom may’ve perceived me in the future, I neglected consideration of the present—the moment in time in which I lived, and during which I unfavorably upset myself with unfavorable beliefs. Of such behavior, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 320):

 

Alexandria, the city in Egypt, still bears the name of its founder, Alexander the Great, some 2,300 years after he set foot there. How cool would it feel to have a city named after you for so many centuries? To know that people are still saying your name?

 

Here’s a thought: it wouldn’t be cool. Because, like Alexander, you’ll be dead. You’ll have no idea whether your name lasted down through the centuries. No one gets to enjoy their own legacy—by definition.

 

Worse, think of all the horrible things Alexander did to achieve what he did. He fought pointless wars. He had a terrible temper—even killing his best friend in a drunken fight. He was ruthless and a slave to his ambition. Is he really so admirable?


Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use

 

In this context, “legacy” is defined as something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past. Whether or not one will have a city named after oneself, or will one day have a loving mom, is a matter of the future. Who knows if success in this regard will occur?

 

Even if it does, it won’t matter, because you’ll be long gone! Is sacrificing your view right now worth the anticipatory hope or disturbing expectation when you’ll be dead when your legacy is determined by others in the future? That’s like concerning yourself about opinions of the past.

 

For instance, my mom is gone! Nevertheless, I encourage you not to misconstrue what I’m suggesting in this blogpost. It isn’t that opinions or legacies preferably oughtn’t to or absolutely mustn’t matter. What is meaningful to you in the present is genuinely none of my concern.

 

Instead, I’m inviting you to contemplate that you share a life with billions of other people in the present moment. Who knows how many people came before you in the past, or who will succeed you in the future? This is the reason that authors of The Daily Stoic invoked Alexander the Great.

 

Whereas I agree with the notion that the late ruler of the ancient Greek kingdom of Macedon may’ve done “horrible things” or had a “terrible temper,” Alexander the Great wasn’t his actions or temperament. He was merely a fallible human being who was capable of behaving poorly.

 

In the past, the ruler acted however he did. In the present, his legacy is discussed through the lens of modernity. In the future, who knows how he’ll be viewed? Ultimately, it doesn’t matter, because he’s been long gone. Of this, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 320):

 

Instead of wasting even a second considering the opinions of future people—people who are not even born yet—focus every bit of yourself on being the best person you can be in the present moment. On doing the right thing, right now. The distant future is irrelevant. Be good and noble and impressive now—while it still matters.

 

Do you behave in an undesirable manner at present? Did someone from the past allege that you’ll endure an unpleasant outcome in the future? Do you use unhelpful beliefs about such matters while thinking about your legacy? If so, it won’t matter, because you’ll be long gone!

 

Why not tend to the present moment, becoming the sort of person that you want to be? Whoever said whatever in the past, and whoever may say whatnot in the future doesn’t have to matter right now! Personally, opinions of my contemporaries are taken into consideration at present.

 

Maybe others see something I can’t possibly detect, maybe not. Yet, I don’t think it’s necessary to dwell on how my mom or others from the past may’ve opined regarding my future. Similarly, I don’t think that being overly concerned with what others may say about my legacy is useful.

 

After all, life can be lived only in the present. Even if you—the person reading this blogpost—maintain an unflattering opinion of me or my behavior right now, that’s fine. It won’t matter in the future, because I’ll be long gone! Now, I invite you to practice a similar perspective on life.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

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Hollings, D. (2025, September 7). Have to. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/have-to

Hollings, D. (2026, June 6). High and dry: Steering a proverbial ship around unhelpful assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/high-and-dry-steering-a-proverbial-ship-around-unhelpful-assumptions

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2026, March 16). Hopeful anticipation vs. disturbing expectation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/hopeful-anticipation-vs-disturbing-expectation

Hollings, D. (2024, February 14). Insufferable vs. undesirable. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/insufferable-vs-undesirable

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday

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