Life Goes On, and So Does Death

[DISCLAIMER]

I’ve just heard about the reported death of singer Oliver Tree. His song “Life Goes On”, from the album Ugly Is Beautiful (2020), has served as content for many electronic dance music (EDM) remixes. Over the years, I’ve enjoyed both the original track and its modifications.

According to one source, “Tree stated in an interview that ‘Life Goes On’ is about ‘a problematic relationship where one person treats the other person badly […] shouldn’t waste time on toxic people,” as I consider this view using Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).

Specifically, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding the circle of control and USA, one may acknowledge that there aren’t “toxic people,” as there are merely fallible human beings. Each of us is capable of behaving in acceptable and unacceptable ways, though we simply aren’t our behavior (i.e., we aren’t “toxic”).

Concerning the circle of influence and UOA, a person may admit that even when others with whom we share unhealthy relationships tend to behave in a toxic manner, these individuals aren’t bad. They may treat “the other person badly,” though these people aren’t badness incarnate.

Relating to the circle of concern and ULA, an individual may recognize, as was expressed in “Life Goes On”, “Life goes on and on and on and on and on and on,” until it doesn’t. In an impermanent and uncertain life, death also goes on and on and on and on and on and on.

As for the area of no concern, that’s the realm in which imagination occurs. It’s consideration of unfalsifiable claims about where Tree may be now that he’s passed from this life. I have no way of knowing what happens after death, so I focus on what truth about reality can be known.

What I believe to be true is that Tree reportedly died in one of my most beloved cities, Rio de Janeiro, Brasil. What better place to meet one’s eventuality, than the Cidade Maravilhosa (Marvelous City)? What I also believe is that Tree’s music was enjoyed my many people!

Now, I invite you to consider truth about reality. Life goes on, and so does death. You can’t have one without the other, as life and death are two sides of the same proverbial coin. In knowing this, you may conclude that truth about death is marvelous (of the highest kind or quality).

Personally, unconditional acceptance regarding both sides of the coin is how I choose to live. Perhaps it was the same with Tree, perhaps not. His time has come and gone, though you still have a relative moment or two left. Now, how will you choose to view both life and death?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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