Self-Knowledge: Know Yourself by Knowing Your Limits

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher Seneca, who stated, “Death lies heavy upon one who, known exceedingly well by all, dies unknown to himself” (page 379). Regarding the matter of people not knowing themselves, I stated in a blogpost entitled Seriously, Who Are You?:

From time to time, when [REBT], I challenge unproductive assumptions of the clients with whom I work by asking a simple question: who are you? Interestingly, I find that many people seem not to know themselves.

Addressing this matter in a blogpost entitled Who Are You? I referenced the 1951 animated film Alice in Wonderland—based on the novel Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There—regarding a scene in which a caterpillar asked Alice, “Who are you?” and I stated:

I can’t count how many television shows, films, streaming series, and songs I’ve encountered which contain a similar motif. What may seem like a simple question turns out to be one of the most difficult to answer.

Aside from your name, social security number, reflection in the mirror, or who others suggest you are, do you know yourself? Seriously, who are you?

Throughout the relatively many years of asking clients who they were—or at least, who they believed they were—only one person definitively answered this question with a delusional response by blasphemously saying, “I am God, and so are you. All of us are!”

I don’t endorse that client’s answer, though I give the individual credit for not answering with the usual composite response of, “I don’t really know.” Now, I invite you to consider that I stated in a blogpost entitled Who Are You? This Is the Question.:

Who are you? This is the question. If you don’t meditate on this matter, how will you – the seer of what appears before oneself – interpret, identify, judge, act, or react when “all of these phenomena that you are observing” aren’t filtered by who you are as the observer?

I’ve stopped inviting clients to ask themselves who they are. Instead, I’ve concluded that the overwhelming majority of people that I’ve known in my personal and professional capacities remain ignorant (lacking knowledge, awareness, or education) in this regard.

For context, the American Psychological Association (APA) defines knowledge as “the state of being familiar with something or aware of its existence, usually resulting from experience or study,” and “the range of one’s understanding or information.”

As well, the APA defines the self as “the totality of the individual, consisting of all characteristic attributes, conscious and unconscious, mental and physical. Apart from its basic reference to personal identity, being, and experience, the term’s use in psychology is wide-ranging.”

Within hip hop music, self-knowledge is often referred to as knowledge of self. As an example, on the album Work Ethics (2011) by producer Tone Spliff, is the track “Knowledge of Self” which is performed by lyricist Eternia. Regarding this concept, one source states:

Self-knowledge is a term in psychology, describing the information needed for an individual to answer the questions “Who am I?” and “What am I like?”.

Self-knowledge requires both self-awareness and self-consciousness (aware of the fact that one is self-aware). While young infants and chimpanzees display some of the traits of self-awareness, agency, and contingency; they are not considered to be self-conscious.

At some greater level of cognition, however, a self-conscious component emerges in addition to an increased self-awareness component, and then it becomes possible to ask “What am I like?”, and to answer with self-knowledge, though self-knowledge has limits, as introspection has been said to be limited and complex, such as the consciousness of being conscious of oneself.

Self-knowledge is a component of the self or, more accurately, the self-concept. It is the knowledge of oneself and one’s properties and the desire to seek such knowledge that guide[s] the development of the self-concept, even if that concept is flawed.

Self-knowledge informs us of our mental representations of ourselves, which contain attributes that we uniquely pair with ourselves, and theories on whether these attributes are stable or dynamic, to the best that we can evaluate ourselves.

Long before I knew about REBT, I learned about knowledge of self through hip hop music. Since having begun the practice of REBT in 2011, I’ve continued to seek self-knowledge. After all, I’m ever-changing. Regarding this topic, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 379):

Some of the most powerful and important people in the world seem to have almost no self-awareness. Although total strangers know endless amounts of trivia about them, celebrities—because they are too busy or because it hurts too much—appear to know very little about themselves.

We can be guilty of the same sin. We ignore Socrates’s dictum to “know thyself”—often realizing we have done so at our peril, years later, when we wake up one day and realize how rarely we have asked ourselves questions like: Who am I? What’s important to me? What do I like? What do I need?

Without knowing oneself, one may be unaware of limitations (the quality or state of being limited—bound within confines or restraints). Therefore, it’s important to maintain knowledge of self, as to know one’s limits. Regarding Socrates’ dictum, one source states:

“Know thyself” is a philosophical Delphic maxim which was inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo in the ancient Greek precinct of Delphi. The best-known of the Delphic maxims, it has been quoted and analyzed by numerous authors throughout history, and has been applied in many ways. Although traditionally attributed to the Seven Sages of Greece, or to the god Apollo himself, the inscription likely had its origin in a popular proverb.

Ion of Chios makes the earliest explicit allusion to the maxim in a fragment dating to the 5th century BC, though the philosopher Heraclitus, active toward the end of the previous century, may also have made reference to the maxim in his works.

The principal meaning of the phrase in its original application was “know your limits” – either in the sense of knowing the extent of one’s abilities, knowing one’s place in the world, or knowing oneself to be mortal. In the 4th century BC, however, the maxim was drastically reinterpreted by Plato, who understood it to mean, broadly speaking, “know your soul”.

To know yourself is to know your limits. With this in mind, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude, “Now—right now—you have the time to explore yourself, to understand your own mind and body. Don’t wait. Know yourself. Before it’s impossibly late” (page 379).

I tend not to ask clients who they are anymore, because self-exploration of this sort exhausts what little time we have available in our sessions. Even when homework is negotiated to examine self-knowledge, I find that people simply refuse to know themselves or their limits.

As advocated by authors of The Daily Stoic, this outcome doesn’t have to apply to you. Thus, I invite you to explore the matter of self-knowledge. Know yourself by knowing your limits, or remain ignorant while on your way to the grave—lacking knowledge, awareness, or education.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use

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