Startercoat

[DISCLAIMER]

When I was in high school, I had a Starter jacket that I appreciated so much I gave it a nickname. I wasn’t as creative as I thought, naming a jacket “Jackie,” though I’m accurately describing what occurred. In any case, describing this fashion craze, one source states:

Like everything else in early to mid ’90s, Starter jackets came in bold, loud, gaudy colors. Part of that was simply a byproduct of the teams they represented.

Jackie represented the University of Colorado (CU), as I lived in Aurora, Colorado from half of fifth to half of seventh grade, and I wanted to one day return to Colorado from Amarillo, Texas. I imagined going to school at CU, even though I despised the academic process altogether.

During my junior year, when in Bomb City, I had a girlfriend who I’ll refer to as “Avril.” She, too, had a Starter jacket. Unlike Jackie’s pullover style, Avril had a zip-up Dallas Cowboys jacket. I have fond memories of our time together, understanding that times weren’t all pleasant.

Given my unhelpful mindset regarding one instance, I’m reminded of a line from Royce da 5’9’s song “Startercoat”, from the 2016 album Layers, in which he stated, “I be temporarily in love when I’m inside a ho.” This is where Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is relevant.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you maintain an irrational Belief (iB; both illogical and unreasonable) about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, and not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence.

In particular, there are four predominate iBs which people often use: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness—all forming the acronym GLAD. Noteworthy, unhelpful demandingness is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism.

Addressing how people disturb themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive assumptions in order to explore an Effective new belief (rational belief, rB—both logical and reasonable). Consider that both iBs and rBs cause Consequences.

As an example, taking into account Royce da 5’9’s line, when Avril and I had sex (Action) and I used the rB, “This moment preferably shouldn’t end, because I enjoy being with Avril,” then I experienced a desirably pleasant Consequence related to joy and pleasure.

When a favored outcome results from use of a helpful Belief, as is the case when using a flexible rB, there’s no need to Dispute one’s self-narrative. The Effective belief is already working in favor of the individual, so one can simply enjoy the ride (to intentionally use a sexual innuendo).

Alternatively, unhelpful use of iBs and achieving an unfavorable outcome may require Disputation as a matter of un-disturbing oneself. To provide an example of how I fucked myself in the head (to intentionally use a crude expression), forgive me a personal anecdote.

Although memory is reconstructive, I think I recall telling Avril that I loved (or was at least in love) with her. What a teenager knows about the distinction between love and being in love is up for debate. Nevertheless, I suspect I told Avril that I loved her. Further, I think that she loved me.

Eventually, as is often the case with intimate partner relationships, enjoyment of the many instances of sexual intercourse in which Avril and I engaged ran its course. There was little more to our relationship, aside from the frequency and duration of our sexual encounters.

Unhelpfully, I broke up with her before attending a work shift at a discount department store chain. The entire time I was working, Avril blew up my beeper (an admittedly inappropriate turn of phrase, following Israel’s use of electronic devices as bombs).

She kept sending “911” alerts after entering her telephone number, indicating an emergency. Therefore, I called her. “My period’s late,” Avril told me. “Can we talk about this later, after I get off work?” I replied. “No,” she responded, “because I think I’m going to kill myself.”

To recapitulate, the sequence of events was as follows: (1) I broke up with Avril and went to work. (2) Avril frantically tried to get my attention. (3) Once she had a captive audience, Avril alluded to a potential pregnancy. (4) To emphasize urgency, she admitted suicidal intent.

I explained to my supervisor what was happening, and I was relieved from the rest of my shift. I then immediately drove to meet Avril at her home. There, after a relatively brief period of time, Avril confessed that she was neither pregnant nor did she intend on committing suicide.

Noteworthy, when a lengthy amount of information comprises an Action, REBT focuses on the “critical A”—the subject matter a person considers most relevant for use with the ABC model. This can be a synthesized version of events which the individual finds most undesirable.

In my case, Avril attempted to manipulate me using two impactful topics with which I’d be most concerned: pregnancy and death (Action). When this occurred, I used an iB akin to, “This shouldn’t have happened [D], and it’s terrible that I was gullible enough to fall for it [A].”

Further, I told myself, “I can’t stand that Avril lied to me [L], because only a worthless ho would do such a thing [G].” With that GLAD narrative, I was mad (Consequence). Of this topic, I’m reminded of my late stepmom saying, “The same thing’ll make you laugh’ll make you cry.”

Regarding my experience with Avril, rBs caused satisfaction while iBs caused dissatisfaction. Regardless of the outcome, Beliefs are what created my reaction. While I thoroughly enjoyed the Consequences stemming from rBs, I found the results of iBs quite unpleasant.

Unfortunately for me, I didn’t know about REBT back when I used to wear a Starter jacket, or what Royce da 5’9 refers to as a “Startercoat”, likely as an attempt to avoid trademark infringement. All the same, I now understand how to un-disturb myself.

Presuming you understand the process of a belief-consequence connection, I invite you to begin paying close attention to your Consequences. Regardless of whether you’re happy or unhappy, I encourage you to ask yourself, “What am I telling myself that caused this reaction?”

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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