Don't Hold Back

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

Before illustrating a demandingness derivative, it may be helpful to add that sometimes mental scripts are accompanied by inferences (the act of passing from one proposition, statement, or judgment considered as true to another whose truth is believed to follow from that of the former).

Notably, the ABC model notes how distorted inferences (misleading conclusions based on illogical and unreasonable beliefs) cause disturbance (i.e., stemming from irrational beliefs) and distress (i.e., stemming from rational beliefs). Now, I submit an example for your review.

When recently listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Lisa Marty, I heard her spin the track “The Chemical Brothers - Galvanize (Chris Lake Extended Mix)” by English EDM producer and DJ Chris Lake. I enjoyed the remixed song, as I also like the original.

For context, on the fifth studio album Push the Button (2005) by English EDM duo The Chemical Brothers is the track “Galvanize” which features vocals by lyricist Q-Tip, of A Tribe Called Quest fame. The official video depicted krumping, about which one source describes:

Krumping is a type of dance culture that evolved through African-American street dancing popularized in the United States during the early 2000s, characterized by free, expressive, exaggerated, and highly energetic movement. The people who originated krumping saw the dance as a means for them to escape gang life.

I recall watching Rize (2005), a documentary reflecting urban competition surrounding two different forms, clowning and krumping. Clowning is an energetic street dance with face paint and costumes, while krumping evolved from it as a raw, aggressive, and emotional release.

The video for “Galvanize” features both elements depicted in Rize. Relevant to the current blogpost, Q-Tip states on both songs cited herein, “Don’t hold back, and you shouldn’t even care.” In this lyric, there are two ABC model elements which serve as matters of interest.

First, perhaps the most obvious, is use of the demandingness word “shouldn’t.” As used on the track, Q-Tip ostensibly advocates a recommendatory should statement. Rather than concerning oneself with the opinions of others, the lyricist recommends that “you shouldn’t even care.”

That’s a handy recommendation for those who choose to engage in clowning or krumping, because these highly energetic dance forms necessitate that an individual not hold back when disregarding the judgment of others. This brings us to a separate point.

The second matter of interest regarding the ABC model is Q-Tip’s statement “don’t hold back.” This infers that one shouldn’t hold back. If used in an inflexible fashion (e.g., you absolutely mustn’t hold back), the demand would represent a distorted inference.

However, the conditional statement used on “Galvanize” is flexible. Essentially, it states that ‘if you recommendatorily shouldn’t care about the judgmental opinions of others, then you preferably shouldn’t hold back’ when clowning, krumping, or living life as you see fit.

Presuming you comprehend the subtle distinction between flexible and inflexible uses of demandingness, I invite you to consider a life in which you don’t self-disturb when placing too much emphasis on the unhelpful opinions of others. Recommendatorily, don’t hold back!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM and hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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