I Don’t Give a Damn ‘Bout My Reputation
- Deric Hollings
- 12 minutes ago
- 8 min read
I recently watched The Runaways (2010), a biographical drama film about the 1970s rock band The Runaways, as I was reminded of band member Joan Jett. In particular, I recalled Jett’s debut solo album Bad Reputation (1980). It featured the song “Bad Reputation”, on which Jett sang:
I don’t give a damn ‘bout my reputation
Livin’ in the past, it’s a new generation
A girl can do what she wants to do
And that’s what I’m gonna do
And I don’t give a damn ‘bout my bad reputation
Oh, no (No-no-no-no-no-no-no)
Not me (Me-me-me-me-me-me-me)
[…]
I don’t give a damn ‘bout my reputation
And I don’t really care if you think I’m strange
And I’m never gonna care ‘bout my bad reputation
Oh, no (No-no-no-no-no-no)
Not me (Me-me-me-me-me-me)
Oh, no (No-no-no-no-no-no)
Not me (Me-me-me-me-me-me)
For those who weren’t alive in the wild-ass ‘80s, you may be familiar with the Shrek soundtrack (2001), on which a cover of “Bad Reputation” was featured, performed by Halfcocked. While I enjoy both songs, Jett’s is my preferred version. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind!
Specifically, I subjectively view Jett’s behavior as that relating to a chingona (a badass female who does what she wants). This is in juxtaposition to a chingon (a gender-nonspecific badass). I draw this distinction, as Jett overtly stated that “a girl can do what she wants to do.”
For context, the phrase “I don’t give a damn” means that one doesn’t care at all about someone or something. As an example, I don’t give a damn if you’re bothered by your unproductive beliefs about my having referred to Jett as a chingona instead of a chingon. Be bothered!
It’s also worth noting that one source states, “The reputation or prestige of a social entity (a person, a social group, an organization, or a place) is an opinion about that entity – typically developed as a result of social evaluation on a set of criteria, such as behavior or performance.”
Given this clarity, a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) comes to mind. For the sake of demonstration, let’s imagine that you’re genuinely moved by your beliefs about my use of gender-specific language regarding Jett’s badass behavioral status.
REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.
Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
From an A-C view, I referred to Jett’s behavior as that of a chingona (Action), and this hypothetically conflicts with your preference for gender neutral terms (Consequence). Still, you aren’t bothered by this A-C event, because the B-C connection causes your experience.
For example, I don’t use the gender-nonspecific term chingon (Action) and you Believe, “Deric is a misogynist piece of shit [G], and I can’t stand him [L], as it’s terrible how women aren’t viewed on equal terms as men [A], because there shouldn’t be any such distinctions [D]!”
With this unaccommodating self-narrative, you then bother yourself into the experience of negative an unhealthy anger and aggression. For all I care, you can be bothered, ‘cause I don’t give a damn ‘bout my reputation! Alternatively, you can un-bother yourself.
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Suppose you use the Effective new belief, “Although I wish people would use gender neutral terms, wishcasting isn’t a method of rational living. Besides, Deric already indicated that he doesn’t give a damn whether or not I’m bothered. So, there’s no use in bothering myself!”
I imagine that in this scenario, you’d achieve a negative and healthy consequence, such as frustration, annoyance, or disappointment. This is where REBT distinguishes between unhealthy and healthy negative emotions, aiming for the latter, as a matter of tolerance and acceptance.
After all, like Jett, I don’t give a damn ‘bout my reputation or your bothered disposition! Oh, no (No-no-no-no-no-no-no)! Not me (Me-me-me-me-me-me-me)! Therefore you can care for yourself, and your own distressed, disturbed, or indifferent outcomes.
In this way, one source states, “If saying ‘chingon/chingona’ seems not good enough to describe how awesome something was, try using ‘chingonería’.” If neither of us gives a damn about what others say, in the interest of free speech, then we can achieve chingonería. How badass is that!?
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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