Made Me Mad

[DISCLAIMER]

On The Imperial (1998), the only studio album by hip hop group Flipmode Squad, was the track “We Got U Opin, Pt. 2” that was produced by Da Beatminerz. It featured lyricist Buckshot, of Black Moon and Boot Camp Clik fame, as the song also sampled an earlier piece by Buckshot.

In order of appearance on “We Got U Opin, Pt. 2”, Flipmode Squad members, all lyricists, were thusly featured: Rah Digga, Spliff Star, Baby Sham, Rampage, Lord Have Mercy, and Busta Rhymes. Listening to the track before writing this blog entry, I admit that I miss ‘90s hip hop!

In any event, pertaining to this post, Rampage notably stated on his verse, “Niggas made me mad, and now I wanna clap shit (Uh)!” Noteworthy, “mad” in this context is defined as completely unrestrained by reason and judgment; intensely angry or displeased.

In the ‘90s, I also advocated the notion that other people “made me mad.” However, I currently view matters differently. Herein, I’ll address what changed my outlook, as it relates to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”).

When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I use personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”). For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.

Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.

Also, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct. Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.

When providing psychoeducational lessons on REBT, a psychotherapeutic modality which arguably requires that one preferably should take personal ownership in order to reduce self-distress or self-disturbance, I lean heavily on both responsibility and accountability.

This is because I maintain that people have personal agency (a person’s ability to control one’s own reactions to activating events which are beyond one’s own dominion, especially when one’s response is limited by someone or something else). This is a matter of self-empowerment.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):

REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).

Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.

Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.

Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

On “We Got U Opin, Pt. 2”, Rampage stated, “Niggas made me mad, and now I wanna clap shit (Uh)!” This infers an A-C connection. However, when people act in undesirable ways (Action), their behavior didn’t actually result in the lyricist wanting to shoot at them (Consequence).

Rather, using the B-C connection, people acted in undesirable ways (Action), Rampage plausibly Believed, “These worthless niggas [G] play too much, and I can’t stand them [L], because they’re repugnant [A], so I oughta just clap niggas,” and he then became mad (Consequence).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Negative and unhealthy disturbance in the form of self-induced anger to the point of wanting to “clap shit,” per Rampage, can be replaced with negative and healthy distress in the form of self-caused frustration. This isn’t an easy transition, though it may be a necessary one. Own that shit!

For instance, Rampage could’ve Effectively believed, “Though I don’t like or love when niggas behave in undesirable ways, what they eat don’t make me shit, just like what they do don’t make me mad! Fuck ‘em, ‘cause they really aren’t worth the space in my head that I’m givin’ ‘em.”

A helpful outlook such as this requires use of personal ownership. From this view, no one else can make you mad. You do that to yourself. Own that shit!

Now, I invite you to consider this psychoeducation lesson that I developed while listening to “We Got U Opin, Pt. 2” in my latter years, unlike in my younger days when I unfavorably endorsed an A-C connection. Truly, no one “made me mad,” because I did that to myself!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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