Get Out of Your Own Way: Petty Annoyances and Minor Obstacles

[DISCLAIMER]

In 2010, I went to an outdoor firing range with a couple friends. We shot an array of small arms and light weapons, as I was out of practice due to having gotten in my own way (hindering one’s own progress or success through unhelpful thoughts, attitudes, or behaviors).

Specifically, I experienced undesirable health concerns, foolishly and uncaringly gained an unhealthy amount of weight, thoughtlessly and accidentally burned my foot in a potpourri incident, and unhelpfully stopped routine firearms training all while attending graduate school.

Favorably, I had friends who cared enough to help me get out of my own way. They knew I’d previously trained for competition shooting, and they weren’t about to let me stand in the way of progress by self-sabotaging a skill I so dearly cherished. Regarding this matter, one source states:

As it’s generally understood, “getting out of your own way” implies somehow putting aside the anxieties and doubts, ego concerns and career pressures—“mental blocks” or “critical inner voices” or pick your favorite pet term—that stand between you and the effortless flow of work.

As though, if you just did enough therapy, or meditated deeply enough, or visualized sincerely enough, or manifested enough positive energy, you could disavow all the “stuff” that gets in the way of your creativity.

If only you were different than who you are. The simple fact is: We do bring our “stuff” to our creative endeavors, “stuff” that runs the gamut from the ridiculous to the sublime, the irritating to the overwhelming. […]

Add to that the relationship difficulties, financial pressures, marketplace fluctuations, and a sense of isolation that creative types must contend with daily; suddenly the amount of “stuff” you’re supposed to put aside to “get out of your own way” starts to feel like a veritable mountain of personal baggage. […]

Getting out of your own way means being with who you are, moment to moment, whether you like it or not. Whether or not it’s easy or comfortable, familiar or disturbing. And then creating from that place.

Although I wasn’t the best shot on all firing ranges, before getting in my own way I could hold my own against seasoned marksmen. Fortunately, I had friends who reminded me of “creating from that place” of inconvenience rather than waiting for a perfect chance to shoot.

Therefore, with one foot in a walking boot, I went shooting with my friends. Now, reflecting upon how I got out of my own way, I think of the psychotherapeutic modality I practice and a book that I’ve been steadily reading. 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

Have you ever wanted to accomplish a task, though you didn’t apply effort while waiting for an opportune moment in the future? I have. I unhelpfully waited for improved conditions before I honed my marksmanship skills. About this, Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius stated (page 236):

That cucumber is bitter, so toss it out! There are thorns on the path, then keep away! Enough said. Why ponder the existence of nuisance?

Such thinking would make you a laughing-stock to the true student of Nature, just as a carpenter or cobbler would laugh if you pointed out the sawdust and chips on the floors of their shops. Yet while those shopkeepers have dustbins for disposal, Nature has no need of them.

I got in my own way with petty (having little or no importance or significance) annoyances (sources which lead to of vexation or irritation when using unhelpful beliefs) and obstacles (something that impedes progress or achievement), as one who identifies sawdust in a carpenter’s work area.

“Look,” I told myself, “I can’t possibly tend to shooting, because of health concerns, weight gain, a burned foot, and neglected firearms training.” All of those petty annoyances and obstacles were mere sawdust! Regarding this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 236):

We want things to go perfectly, so we tell ourselves that we’ll get started once the conditions are right, or once we have our bearings. When, really, it’d be better to focus on making do with how things actually are.

There never was a “perfect” opportunity to reengage firearms training. Even if possible, by some fantastical event during which perfection availed itself so that I could attend the firing range with zero faults, that experience wouldn’t have served well my interests and goals.

This is because I trained for real-world, not ideal-world, circumstances. For instance, if my foot wasn’t in a walking boot when shooting an AK-47 and someone unlawfully entered my home when I was wearing the medical device, how would ideal training serve my real world event?

It wouldn’t! Therefore, I preferably should’ve known how my physiological and psychological processes would respond to shooting an AK-47 when my foot was in a walking boot. Regarding the unproductive practice of waiting for perfection, authors of The Daily Stoic add (page 236):

Marcus reminded himself: “Don’t await the perfection of Plato’s Republic.” He wasn’t expecting the world to be exactly the way he wanted it to be, but Marcus knew instinctively, as the Catholic philosopher Josef Pieper would later write, that “he alone can do good who knows what things are like and what their situation is.”

Turns out that when shooting with my friends, despite proverbial sawdust of petty annoyances and obstacles, I performed well and thus did good for myself by learning more about my capabilities. Similarly, authors of The Daily Stoic encourage (page 236):

Today, we won’t let our honest understanding of the world stop us from trying to make the best of it. Nor will we let petty annoyances and minor obstacles get in the way of the important job we have to do.

Making the best of what you have isn’t the same as needlessly pointing out axiomatic sawdust in an attempt to seek or achieve perfection. Rather, despite petty annoyances and minor obstacles, you get out of your own way when life’s many inconveniences inevitably get in the way!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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