I Feel You in My Mind

[DISCLAIMER]

When listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Deva Vicci, I heard her spin the song “My Mind” (2025) by Korolova and JOA. In part, the lyrics state, “I feel you in my mind.” When hearing the track, I helpfully thought of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.

For context, the American Psychological Association defines the mind as “broadly, all intellectual and psychological phenomena of an organism, encompassing motivational, affective, behavioral, perceptual, and cognitive systems; that is, the organized totality of an organism’s mental and psychic processes and the structural and functional cognitive components on which they depend.”

On “My Mind”, the vocalist states, “I feel you in my mind.” Noteworthy, with my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I invite people to consider scripts which are rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) – especially regarding events which correlate with strong feelings. It’s irrational to misuse the term “feel.”

On the topic of feelings, I often find it valuable to clarify what this element represents in regard to the construct of beliefs. This is because people generally misuse this term. For instance, colloquially, people use “feel” synonymously with “think” (or any derivative thereof).

Yet, a “feeling” is either: 1. Emotion (i.e., joy, fear, anger, sorrow, disgust, surprise, etc.) or 2. Sensation (e.g., tightened or stiffened jaw). If the word “feel” (or any derivative thereof) can be replaced with “hunch,” “thought,” or “belief” (or any derivative thereof), it’s not a feeling.

Thus, it’s improper to say something along the lines of “I feel like you did that to get back at me,” because what one typically intends on communicating is “I believe that you did that to get back at me.” This begs the question about the phrase “I feel you in my mind.” Is it proper use?

Let’s explore this topic. From a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

From a B-C view, you think of someone (Action), Believe, “He’s worthless [G], and he makes me sick [L], because he’s horrendous [A], so he mustn’t be in my mind [D],” and then you self-disturbingly feel negative and unhealthy anger in your mind (Consequence).

From an A-C view, your angered state (Action) then causes a rise in body temperature, profuse sweating, wrinkling of your forehead, a pounding heart, shallow breathing, and you kick a hole in your bedroom wall (Consequence). The precipitating catalyst was your unhelpful Belief.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

As it regards the track “My Mind”, anger originally felt in your mind (i.e., emotion) then spread throughout your body (i.e., sensation). Thus, it’s a proper use of feelings-based language for the vocalist to say “I feel you in my mind” when viewing the B-C connection I’ve outlined herein.

However, if the vocalist merely means that thinking of someone is synonymous with feeling that person in the mind, then this would constitute an improper use of feelings-based language. Now, I invite you to consider this psychoeducational lesson concerning how feelings actually function.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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