You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby, and You’ve Got a Ways to Go

[DISCLAIMER]

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines sobriety as “a state in which one abstains [chooses not to do or have something] from drinking or taking drugs for a period of time; that is, abstinence.” In a blogpost entitled A Lifetime of Sobriety, I stated of this matter:

[B]ecause I was the single sober teen in my friend group during high school, having been given the nickname “2-Nice” partially for this reason, I did a fair share of babysitting people who were too drunk or high to properly function. This was also the case during my days of raving.

For context, the APA defines abstinence as “the act of refraining from the use of something, particularly alcohol or drugs, or from participation in sexual or other activity. In most instances, abstinence from drugs or alcohol is the primary goal of substance abuse treatment.”

Whereas I’ve maintained a lifetime of sobriety from alcohol and drugs – minus a handful of occasions in my youth when I tasted alcohol, took a single puff from a cigarette, and once tried a wad of chewing tobacco – I’ve also remained abstinent from sexual intercourse since 2015.

Abstinence from substances has been easy for me, as I’ve observed enough family members and friends who’ve endured significant challenges to their well-being when using, abusing, or having become dependent on drugs, alcohol, or tobacco that I’ve never wanted to repeat their mistakes.

Also, abstinence from sex hasn’t been all that difficult. I’ve made so many errors in judgment when chasing girls in my youth and women in my adulthood that I’ve learned that the value of relative peace in my latter years, by way of abstinence, is better than any sex I’ve ever had.

I’ve “come a long way,” which is a phrase that means to rise to a much higher level of success, especially regarding one’s own interests and goals. For example, I have a desire (i.e., interest) for peace, absent of sex, so abstinence is the end toward which my effort is directed (i.e., goal).

Also, when “baby” is used as a term of endearment for males (i.e., boys and men) or females (i.e., girls and women), one may say of my goal attainment, “You’ve come a long way, baby!” Regarding this matter, electronic dance music (EDM) artist Fatboy Slim comes to mind.

In 1998, he released his second studio album entitled You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby. In my raving days, I tore dancefloors to shreds with tracks from the anthology. For instance, the album contained the song “Kalifornia”, as lyrics stated, “California is druggy, druggy, druggy, druggy.”

Even though I raved sober, I’d dance into a dizzying frenzy to a song about substance abuse. As it concerns the current blogpost, I was recently reminded of the track when reading an article about Fatboy Slim’s apparent experience with sobriety. For context, one source states:

Fatboy Slim has said he felt paralysed and “rigid with fear” at the prospect of DJing sober after spending time in rehab to deal with his alcohol addiction.

The artist, whose real name is Norman Cook, referred to his alcoholism as a parasite and said getting sober was “probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done” during an appearance on Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs with Lauren Laverne. […]

He checked into a rehab facility in 2009 and has since been sober for almost 15 years. While in rehab, it dawned on him he had sought help “just in time”, he said. […]

He said the anxiety he felt when returning to the stage to perform sober took some time to abate. “For the first five shows, I was so paralysed and rigid with fear, I couldn’t dance, and I couldn’t enjoy it. I was thinking: ‘What are you actually doing? Why are you going to play that record next? And why are they going to react to it?’”

To Fatboy Slim, I say, “You’ve come a long way, baby, and you’ve got a ways to go!” For clarity, the phrase “a ways to go” simply means a long distance to go. Until his impermanent and uncertain time on Earth in his current form is done, Fatboy Slim has a ways to go with sobriety.

Now, I think about how Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is done through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding the circle of control and USA, Fatboy Slim can acknowledge that he’s merely a fallible human being who makes mistakes. Just as I took control of my life by ultimately deciding to forego sex, the DJ and producer has taken control of his ability to correct mistakes.

Concerning the circle of influence and UOA, Fatboy Slim may consider that other people are as imperfect as is he. While he’s remained sober for 15 years and I’ve abstained from sex for just over a decade, not everyone else is prepared to do the work necessary to achieve similar success.

Pertaining to the circle of concern and ULA, Fatboy Slim could realize that the past is passed, and what the future holds is unknown. He and I are both able to focus on our spheres of control and influence in the present, as all else is merely a cause for concern that doesn’t cause concern.

As for the area of no concern, an imaginary realm in which both Fatboy Slim and I are made of subjectively delicious Twinkie ingredients, this matter is simply nonsensical, and a waste of life. Yet, what isn’t a foolish waste of time is devotion to one’s own interests and goals in this life.

Given consideration of UA, I’ll end this blog entry by noting that within the comment section on a separate article about Fatboy Slim’s apparent experience with sobriety, one commenter stated, “Back in the 90s[,] the only sober people in the rave and club were the security and the cashier.”

I unconditionally accept this commenter’s ignorance. After all, this fallible human being didn’t know me in the ‘90s. I was straight-up shredding dancefloors to pieces—all while sober! Therefore, from the view of UA, I’ll abstain from judging harshly this individual’s ignorance.

Oh, and congratulations to Fatboy Slim on achieving success with his reported sobriety interest and goal! You’ve come a long way, baby, and you’ve got a ways to go! Thanks for all the EDM-inspired memories! Even though I’ve given up dancing, I’ll keep your tunes in mind. One.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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