I’m Livin’ My Best Life
There’s an expression made popular years ago, “living my best life,” about which one source states, “Usually people have specific conditions under which they would like to live, and have specific goals they want to achieve for that to happen.” I’m not fond of this aspirational saying.
Generally, people used to endorse this pretentious aphorism when gloating about their own egotistical endeavors. To expand upon my assertion, another source states of this once-popular expression:
A stupid phrase that is used, commonly on Instagram, to give the false reality that you can wake up and choose which “life” you want to live. Perhaps you want to be a lazy dog, or a human facing the challenge of whether to have avocado on toast or a green smoothie for breakfast. Either way, it’s got to be the best (breakfast) life you could possibly be living.
The term “best” is defined as excelling all others, and the word “life” is defined as the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body. Ergo, if “I’m living my best life,” then I’m apparently fulfilling a vital function that excels all others.
Personally, it’s purposeful and meaningful to pursue a well-lived life. However, I have no use for comparing and contrasting, or even competing with, the lives of others. Of course, others are free to do as they will. Fortunately, this conceited saying has lost popularity over the years.
Nevertheless, when it was en vogue, the album UKnoWhatImSayin? (2019) was released by lyricist Danny Brown. It contained the song “Best Life” that was produced by lyricist and music producer Q-Tip, and on which Brown stated in the chorus:
‘Cause ain’t no next life, so now I’m tryna live my best life
Livin’ my best life
‘Cause ain’t no next life, so now I’m tryna live my best life
I’m livin’ my best life
Regarding an afterlife or multiple lives, I’m now agnostic (a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality, such as a supreme being, is unknown and probably unknowable). All the same, “Best Life” now serves as a lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
Now, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).
With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).
The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.
Regarding my circle of control and USA, I recognize that it’s up to me as to whether or not I compare and contrast, or even compete with, the lives of others. Concerning my circle of influence and UOA, I acknowledge that others are free to say, “I’m livin’ my best life.”
Pertaining to my circle of concern and ULA, I admit that I’m going to die, as I don’t know whether or not I’ll experience and afterlife or additional lives. As for my area of no concern, that’s the realm in which afterlives and additional lives exist, as I have no use for this concept.
Now, I invite you to consider how you want to live this life. Maybe, as Brown stated, “ain’t no next life.” If not, you can live well in this life – all without needlessly comparing and contrasting, or even competing with, the lives of others. Therefore, I encourage you to live well.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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