Alternate Reality: Negative and Unhealthy Delusional Jealousy and Envy

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Alternate Reality and Delusion

On hip hop producer Nohokai’s album Mixed Emotions (2020) is the track “Golden Goose”, which features lyricist Slaine, as well as lyricist and singer Rite Hook. As it pertains to the current blogpost, Slaine states on his second verse:

I guess it was all along I had known the truth

That I was viewed as a golden goose

These fruit loops want juice that they don’t produce

So what happens when the chickens come home to roost?

It’s the bitches, they get vicious, the fellas are over-friendly

Plotting on your demise as soon as you stop ascending

Posturing in the lies, you can tell that it’s all pretending

You start to learn the difference between jealousy and envy

And these lessons don’t come for free

They can’t be learned in no college, but to some degree

I had to earn some cold knowledge that a younger me

Couldn’t see. Note to self: I got return on those dollars

Follow along the saga, you can’t run from the fight

‘Cause we all take the beatings we have coming in life

You know it well, what’s done in the dark comes to the light

And you can never fuck with someone as nice as I am

Slaine makes a distinction between jealousy and envy. Without performing a search, can you adequately differentiate between these healthy or unhealthy negative emotions—describing how you feel during these experiences? If not, then I invite you to continue reading this post.

I recently spoke with the adult child (“Ariadne”) of a friend about reality, which the American Psychological Association (APA) defines as “in philosophy, that which genuinely exists, usually in contrast to that which only seems to exist.” She and I agree about objective reality.

Ariadne concurred with my view on truth about reality—truth (the body of real things, events, and facts) is an explanation of reality, albeit imperfect (flawed in form, structure, or function). This is a different matter than so-called “alternate reality,” which one source describes as:

Alternate reality (or Alternative reality, UK [United Kingdom] English) often refers to parallel universes in fiction, a self-contained separate world, universe or reality coexisting with the real world, which is used as a recurring plot point or setting used in fantasy and science fiction.

I informed Ariadne that with my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”)—using Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) as my primary psychotherapeutic modality, I’ve encountered people who believe in alternate realities.

The APA defines belief as “acceptance of the truth, reality, or validity of something (e.g., a phenomenon, a person’s veracity), particularly in the absence of substantiation.” This means that something which is accepted, considered being true, or held as an opinion is merely a belief.

Even in the absence of evidence or when unable to be falsified, comparatively high-functioning and relatively intelligent people with whom I’ve spoken have expressed belief in alternate realities—maintaining that their perception of reality is more authentic than actual reality.

The APA defines perception as “the process or result of becoming aware of objects, relationships, and events by means of the senses, which includes such activities as recognizing, observing, and discriminating.” How does one perceive an imperceptible alternate reality?

Ariadne agreed that the proposition of an alternate reality is subjectively entertaining, though it isn’t rational (in accordance with both logic and reason). With respect to truth about reality, it’s factually correct to claim that such belief aligns with delusion, which the APA thusly defines:

[A]n often highly personal idea or belief system, not endorsed by one’s culture or subculture, that is maintained with conviction in spite of irrationality or evidence to the contrary. Delusions may be transient and fragmentary, as in delirium, or highly systematized and elaborate, as in delusional disorders, though most of them fall between these two extremes.

Common types include delusional jealousy, delusions of being controlled, delusions of grandeur, delusions of persecution, delusions of reference, nihilistic delusions (see nihilism), and somatic delusions. Data suggest that delusions are not primarily logical errors but are derived from emotional material.

They have come to represent one of the most important factors in systems for diagnostic classification. Some researchers believe that delusions may be the most important symptom of schizophrenia.

A delusion can lead to a negative emotion, which the APA defines as “an unpleasant, often disruptive, emotional reaction designed to express a negative affect. Negative emotion is not conducive to progress toward obtaining one’s goals.”

Jealousy and Envy

As the APA lists various types of delusions, it may be useful to focus on the one about which Ariadne and I talked. In particular, we discussed delusional jealously. In order to discuss this subtype, it’s worth noting that the APA thusly defines jealousy—differentiating from envy:

[A] negative emotion in which an individual resents a third party for appearing to take away (or being likely to take away) the affections of a loved one. Jealousy requires a triangle of social relationships between three individuals: the one who is jealous, the partner with whom the jealous individual has or desires a relationship, and the rival who represents a preemptive threat to that relationship.

Romantic relationships are the prototypic source of jealousy, but any significant relationship (with parents, friends, etc.) is capable of producing it. It differs from envy [a negative emotion of discontent and resentment generated by desire for the possessions, attributes, qualities, or achievements of another (the target of the envy)] in that three people are always involved.

Whereas jealousy requires at least three people with at least one individual being intolerant of actual or perceived rivalry or unfaithfulness, envy regards resentful awareness of an advantage or possession enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage or item.

Stated differently, person X—in an intimate partner relationship with person Y—is jealous of person Z’s friendly relationship with person Y. This is a different matter than person Z being envious of person X’s expensive new watch. Now, what happens when delusion is introduced?

The APA defines delusional jealousy as “a false belief that a spouse or partner is unfaithful. The individual is constantly on the watch for indications that this belief is justified, manufactures evidence if it is not to be found, and completely disregards facts that contravene the conviction.”

For clarity, regarding this post, the APA defines justification as “in clinical psychology, defensive intellectualization, as in making an excuse for an action, cognition, or affect that one knows to be or is considered to be wrong or indefensible.”

Therefore, as I discussed with Ariadne, when person Y notifies person X that delusional jealousy of person Z is impacting the intimate partner relationship, person Y merely attempts to justify maladaptive behavior by manufacturing evidence to support an irrational belief.

Suppose that person Z used a similar illogical and unreasonable belief about person Y’s wristwatch. Person X notifies person Z that delusional envy is impacting their friendly relationship, as person Z then attempts to justify nonadaptive behavior by disregarding facts.

As it regards negative and unhealthy delusional jealousy and envy, the cognitive content that produces these outcomes is what I address when using REBT. Thus, I invite you to consider the psychoeducational lesson I presented to Ariadne when we recently spoke.

REBT

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):

REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).

Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.

Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance (LFT), awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.

Worth noting, the two forms of should, must, and ought demands with which people most often distress or disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional beliefs. Generally speaking, these scripts serve as inflexible commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of self-upset.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still functioning as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

From an A-C view, person Y communicates via cellphone with person Z (Action), as this communication strengthens their friendly relationship (Consequence). However, it’s a B-C connection that causes person X’s self-disturbed delusional jealousy regarding this event.

Person X eavesdrops on cellphone contact between persons Y and Z (Action), as person X Believes, “I’m worthless [G], and I can’t abide this [L], because it’s terrible [A] and I shouldn’t be put in this position [D],” as this script then causes jealousy (Consequence).

This unpleasant outcome is further aggravated by additional unhelpful Beliefs, as person X is constantly on the watch for indications that these Beliefs are justified, manufactures evidence, and completely disregards facts that contravene the conviction—causing delusional jealousy.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Additionally, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

Whereas the ABC model is a scientific approach to wellness, UA serves as a philosophical method for un-disturbing yourself. I view the former as an abortive approach to disturbance and the latter as a preventative method. Of course, not all REBT practitioners use the same style as I.

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Negative Healthy and Unhealthy Emotions

Given the aforementioned psychoeducational lesson which I expressed to Ariadne, I now invite you to go a bit further into investigation of this matter than I was able to explore with her. According to one REBT source (page 208):

In order for you to feel unhealthy jealousy, you have to hold an irrational belief. When you think irrationally, you hold a rigid belief and one or more extreme beliefs.

While the rigid belief is at the core of unhealthy jealousy, the extreme beliefs that are derived from the rigid belief often distinguish between where you depreciate yourself (usually when you compare yourself to your ‘rival’ or if you were to lose your partner) and where you find the uncertainty of not knowing key aspects to do with your partner intolerable.

In chronic unhealthy jealousy, you often hold both a threat related self-depreciation belief and an uncertainty related discomfort intolerance belief in a given situation.

The same belief-related content that drives jealousy or delusional jealousy also influences envy or delusional envy. This raises a question about the distinction between negative, though unhealthy versus healthy jealousy, about which the previous REBT source states (page 209):

Let me outline two sets of beliefs about being uncertain that your partner is cheating on you, and you tell me which leads to unhealthy jealousy and which leads to healthy jealousy.

The first set of beliefs is as follows: “I must know for certain that my partner is not cheating on me [D] and I can’t bear not knowing this [L].” The second set of beliefs is as follows: “I really would like to know for certain that my partner is not cheating on me, but I don’t need such certainty. I can bear not knowing this, although it is tough not to have certainty.”

Now which set of beliefs would lead to unhealthy jealousy and which would lead to healthy jealousy?

Admittedly, it’s a somewhat controversial matter to argue that there’s such a thing as negative, though healthy jealousy or envy, yet the author of the aforementioned REBT source makes a compelling case. Sticking with the jealousy example, allow me to elucidate.

Regarding unhealthy jealously, the first set of cited beliefs uses demandingness (“I must know for certain that my partner is not cheating on me”) and LFT (“I can’t bear not knowing this”). These unaccommodating assumptions cause self-disturbance (e.g., rage, stalking, etc.).

Concerning healthy jealousy, the second set of cited beliefs uses a flexible preference versus rigid expectation (“I really would like to know for certain that my partner is not cheating on me, but I don’t need such certainty”). This is a malleable perspective, as matters in life are uncertain.

As well, the second set of beliefs uses high frustration tolerance (HFT), which is the converse of LFT, when admitting, “I can bear not knowing this, although it is tough not to have certainty.” Together, preference and HFT scripts cause self-distress (e.g., annoyance, disappointment, etc.).

Bear in mind that REBT distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational Beliefs about an Action, as unhealthy disturbance stems from your irrational Beliefs about the same event. Thus, jealousy and envy can be healthy.

Reflect back to person Z who is envious of person Y’s expensive new wristwatch. If person Z Believes, “I prefer that I should have the watch instead of person Z, yet it isn’t as though I absolutely must own it,” then this constitutes a negative and healthy form of envy.

Some people may argue that full resolution of envious emotion is ideal, as I don’t disagree. Nevertheless, I maintain that given negative, though unhealthy envy, or negative, but healthy envy, then the latter is preferable to the former if full resolution isn’t currently possible.

Now, regarding person X’s negative and unhealthy delusional jealously, I posit that the delusional component alone prevents a healthy alternative option. It’s one matter to use a rational belief that causes distress, though a delusion virtually always causes disturbance.

Therefore, when person X eavesdrops on cellphone contact between persons Y and Z (Action) and Believes a script that causes unhealthy delusional jealousy (Consequence), then I’d first assist person X with Disputing the delusion, and then Dispute the rigid GLAD Belief.

To simplify matters, person X first claims to know—without evidence—that person Y is unfaithful, as person X creates evidence to support this delusion. Secondly, person X Believes, “I mustn’t be cheated on [D], and I can’t stand not knowing if person Y is unfaithful [L].”

Disputing only the second GLAD narrative leaves intact the primary delusion. However, challenging the main delusion may resolve both the primary and secondary irrational scripts. Ultimately, person X may prefer negative and healthy versus negative an unhealthy jealousy.

Understandably, some people inflexibly demand that jealousy and envy absolutely must never be experienced when advocating mental health care. However, the previous REBT source states (pages 212-213):

Some people who feel unhealthily jealous think that it is an appropriate response to situations where they think that others pose a threat to their relationship and where they are not certain that this is the case. In these circumstances, it is important to introduce the idea of feeling healthily jealous as the healthy alternative to unhealthy jealousy a little earlier than you would normally do.

When you have done so, you can then carry out a cost-benefit analysis of unhealthy jealousy and its constructive alternative, healthy jealousy. This involves helping your clients to spell out the perceived advantages and disadvantages of both emotions. Respond to any perceived advantages of unhealthy jealousy and perceived disadvantages of unhealthy jealousy, correcting any misconceptions that your clients reveal on these issues.

For example, imagine that your clients think that feeling unhealthy jealousy is a sign to their partner and to others that they love their partner very deeply and that healthy jealousy does not communicate the depths of their loving feelings. In this case, help your clients to see that they can love their partner deeply without being unhealthily jealous and that rather than being a sign of deep love, unhealthy jealousy is a sign of deep disturbance. Also, demonstrations of unhealthy jealousy after a while tend to alienate the partner, which is not the case with expressions of healthy jealousy.

This is how I’d approach person X’s case. Still, irrespective of healthy or unhealthy jealousy, it’s the element of delusion that creates a so-called alternate reality in which rationalizations in favor of one’s own unproductive emotions and behavior prevent success with interests and goals.

Therefore, I’d first address person X’s negative and unhealthy delusional jealousy, and then explore a cost-benefit analysis (i.e., comparing the potential costs and potential benefits of each possible behavior) regarding healthy or unhealthy jealousy. The same method applies to envy.

Provided that you comprehend the more in-depth examination of this matter than what I provided to Ariadne, then (1) I invite you to think critically of so-called alternate reality scenarios, (2) consider negative emotions of a healthy versus unhealthy nature, and (3) forego delusions.

Personal Anecdote and Ownership

Building upon the psychoeducational lesson offered herein, I now thank you for forgiving me a personal anecdote that may enrich your comprehension. Prior to learning about REBT and during my marriage to woman X, I caused my own negative and unhealthy jealousy.

We were both enlisted in the Marine Corps, as was her husband from whom she was physically separated. A number of junior Marines within our parent command structure informed me that woman X exhibited behavior that wasn’t aligned with my moral and ethical views.

In particular, woman X was allegedly flirtatious when attending parties. I dismissed the advisement, as woman X and I began a friendship that later evolved into an intimate partner relationship. During the courting stage of our association, I observed many questionable actions.

For instance, woman X received handwritten love notes from other male Marines, she closely guarded her cellphone, woman X was unable to account for lengthy periods of time when I was unable to contact her, and so forth and so on. Still, I dismissed her behavior.

She eventually asked me to marry her, I accepted, and woman X’s dubious behavior continued throughout our marriage. As an example, if I went anywhere near her phone, then woman X would erupt into outbursts which appeared like overreactions to the circumstance.

At times, I thought I was living in an alternate reality when being gaslit, with the APA defining “gaslight” as “to manipulate another person into doubting their perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events.” To use a dated expression, I thought I was going crazy!

Eventually, woman X filed for divorce after having met another man. During our divorce proceedings, she admitted to having cheated on me—something she denied for years, even when I found evidence of her infidelity (e.g., nude photos sent through email to another man).

Rather than distress in the form of healthy jealousy, my B-C connection caused unpleasant disturbance in the form of unhealthy jealousy. Nonetheless, I wasn’t a victim of woman X’s actions, because I volunteered for the undesirable ride!

Noteworthy, when practicing REBT, I use personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”). For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.

Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.

Also, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct. Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.

When providing psychoeducational lessons on REBT, a psychotherapeutic modality which arguably requires that one preferably should take personal ownership in order to reduce self-distress or self-disturbance, I lean heavily on both responsibility and accountability.

This is because I maintain that people have personal agency (a person’s ability to control one’s own reactions to activating events which are beyond one’s own dominion, especially when one’s response is limited by someone or something else). This is a matter of self-empowerment.

Favorably, I learned about REBT after my divorce. Therefore, when intimate partner woman Y exhibited similar phone-guarding behavior, I took personal ownership of my reaction to her behavior. Thus, I merely experienced distress in the form of negative, though healthy jealousy.

Conclusion

On “Golden Goose”, Slaine states, “Posturing in the lies, you can tell that it’s all pretending, you start to learn the difference between jealousy and envy.” I consider that line an appropriate place to have begun an exploration into a discussion about alternate reality and delusion.

That consideration then provided an opportunity to discuss negative emotions. Specifically, I’ve examined jealousy and envy. Jealousy regards people and a perception related to rivalry or unfaithfulness, and envy regards resentful awareness of an advantage or possession.

Contemplation of these negative experiences gave way to discussion about negative and unhealthy delusional jealousy and envy. Moreover, I demonstrated how these secondary emotions are addressed by the psychotherapeutic model of REBT.

My assessment then moved toward a somewhat controversial perspective on negative healthy and unhealthy emotions. Explicitly, I maintain the view of a cited REBT source which posits that there are healthy experiences with jealousy and envy.

Finally, I used a personal anecdote regarding two intimate partner relationships—one in which I caused my own negative and unhealthy jealousy, and one in which I caused my own negative and healthy jealousy. Importantly, I illustrated how I take personal ownership for my outcomes.

Now, I invite you to deliberate on the matters discussed herein. Do you agree with my view—that there’s both healthy and unhealthy jealousy and envy, disagree, or simply not care at all? As well, if you have any questions about REBT, then I look forward to hearing from you.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use

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Hollings, D. (2025, September 13). Are your actions ruled by reason? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/are-your-actions-ruled-by-reason

Hollings, D. (2024, November 15). Assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/assumptions

Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing

Hollings, D. (2025, November 17). Bloodbending: A moral and ethical dilemma regarding control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/bloodbending-a-moral-and-ethical-dilemma-regarding-control

Hollings, D. (2026, March 3). Blowback and knock-on effects: Subjectivity of beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/blowback-and-knock-on-effects-subjectivity-of-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2025, October 23). Bringing together sound teaching with sound conduct. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/bringing-together-sound-teaching-with-sound-conduct

Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern

Hollings, D. (2024, May 18). Cognitive distortions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/cognitive-distortions

Hollings, D. (2024, July 11). Concern and no concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/concern-and-no-concern

Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Conditional should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/conditional-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2026, February 12). Consciousness: Reach your soul. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consciousness-reach-your-soul

Hollings, D. (2023, April 22). Control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/control

Hollings, D. (2025, September 6). Control what you can. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/control-what-you-can

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2025, August 8). Cost vs. expense. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/cost-vs-expense

Hollings, D. (2024, September 14). Crazy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/crazy

Hollings, D. (2024, November 4). Critical thinking. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/critical-thinking

Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness

Hollings, D. (2022, October 5). Description vs. prescription. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/description-vs-prescription

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2025, March 12). Distress vs. disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/distress-vs-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2025, September 4). Do degrees infer intelligence? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/do-degrees-infer-intelligence

Hollings, D. (2025, August 19). Doing right or wrong, as they see it. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/doing-right-or-wrong-as-they-see-it

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Empirical should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/empirical-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, December 30). Empowerment. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/empowerment

Hollings, D. (2025, December 5). Evaluations and appraisals: Men are gross, trash, and pigs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/evaluations-and-appraisals-men-are-gross-trash-and-pigs

Hollings, D. (2026, April 12). Excuses, explanations, and justifications. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/excuses-explanations-and-justifications

Hollings, D. (2025, December 13). Explanation and justification. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/explanation-and-justification

Hollings, D. (2025, May 15). External things can’t fix internal issues. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/external-things-can-t-fix-internal-issues

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2026, February 13). Five, four, three… beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/five-four-three-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2026, January 29). Gallows humor: Nihilist penguin. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/gallows-humor-nihilist-penguin

Hollings, D. (2023, September 16). Gaslighting. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/gaslighting

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Global evaluations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/global-evaluations

Hollings, D. (2024, April 13). Goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/goals

Hollings, D. (2025, September 7). Have to. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/have-to

Hollings, D. (2024, August 9). Healthy concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/healthy-concern

Hollings, D. (2024, February 24). High frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/high-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Ideal should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ideal-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, April 27). Ideal-world vs. real-world. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ideal-world-vs-real-world

Hollings, D. (2024, October 21). Impermanence and uncertainty. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/impermanence-and-uncertainty

Hollings, D. (2025, September 21). Impugning motive: Swallowing a toad. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/impugning-motive-swallowing-a-toad

Hollings, D. (2026, April 8). Impermanence and uncertainty: I don’t know where tomorrow will take me. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/impermanence-and-uncertainty-i-don-t-know-where-tomorrow-will-take-me

Hollings, D. (2024, February 14). Insufferable vs. undesirable. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/insufferable-vs-undesirable

Hollings, D. (2026, April 14). Intolerance: There’s no way that I can take this. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/intolerance-there-s-no-way-that-i-can-take-this

Hollings, D. (2026, February 8). Is It Desire, or Is It Love? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/is-it-desire-or-is-it-love

Hollings, D. (2026, March 11). Just the facts. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/just-the-facts

Hollings, D. (2025, March 4). Justification. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/justification

Hollings, D. (2025, October 13). Knowledge, wisdom, understanding. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/knowledge-wisdom-understanding

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Legal should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/legal-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2025, January 14). Level of functioning and quality of life. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/level-of-functioning-and-quality-of-life

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2025, January 8). Life-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-downing

Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason

Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (2024, March 4). Mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mental-emotional-and-behavioral-health

Hollings, D. (2025, November 16). Mental health, mental illness, and mental disorder. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mental-health-mental-illness-and-mental-disorder

Hollings, D. (2025, April 16). Mentally corrupt decisions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mentally-corrupt-decisions

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Moral and ethical should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/moral-and-ethical-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 2). Morals and ethics. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/morals-and-ethics

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2025, August 2). My philosophy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-philosophy

Hollings, D. (2024, June 2). Nonadaptive behavior. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/nonadaptive-behavior

Hollings, D. (2026, April 2). Objective rationality: What is rational to you may not be rational to others. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/objective-rationality-what-is-rational-to-you-may-not-be-rational-to-others

Hollings, D. (2026, April 4). Objective reality. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/objective-reality

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2023, April 24). On truth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-truth

Hollings, D. (2024, November 18). Opinions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/opinions

Hollings, D. (2025, January 7). Other-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/other-downing

Hollings, D. (2023, December 25). Perception isn’t reality. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/perception-isn-t-reality

Hollings, D. (2024, February 24). Personal agency. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-agency

Hollings, D. (2022, November 7). Personal ownership. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-ownership

Hollings, D. (2025, September 9). Personal responsibility and accountability. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-responsibility-and-accountability

Hollings, D. (2025, April 25). Preferences vs. expectations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/preferences-vs-expectations

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Preferential should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/preferential-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2025, August 13). Rational versus irrational thoughts and beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-versus-irrational-thoughts-and-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Rational vs. irrational. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-vs-irrational

Hollings, D. (2024, March 4). Rationalization. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rationalization

Hollings, D. (2026, April 18). Realistic training: Reality testing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/realistic-training-reality-testing

Hollings, D. (2024, March 14). REBT and emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-and-emotions

Hollings, D. (2024, July 18). REBT flexibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-flexibility

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Recommendatory should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/recommendatory-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, January 20). Reliability vs. validity. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/reliability-vs-validity

Hollings, D. (2023, February 17). Revisiting the circle of control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/revisiting-the-circle-of-control

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2025, October 9). Self-awareness, self-examination, and self-determination. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-awareness-self-examination-and-self-determination

Hollings, D. (2024, May 3). Self-deprecation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-deprecation

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2025, January 6). Self-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-downing

Hollings, D. (2026, April 21). Self-upset. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-upset

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2025, December 24). Some people advocate walking. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/some-people-advocate-walking

Hollings, D. (2024, February 27). Suffering, struggling, and battling vs. experiencing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/suffering-struggling-and-battling-vs-experiencing

Hollings, D. (2025, August 6). Take an inventory of your obligations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/take-an-inventory-of-your-obligations

Hollings, D. (2022, December 23). The A-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-a-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2025, December 21). The awful, very bad, horrible, terrible, no good, unacceptable elements of life. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-awful-very-bad-horrible-terrible-no-good-unacceptable-elements-of-life

Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2025, October 22). The construct. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-construct

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Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance

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Hollings, D. (2023, October 22). Unfalsifiability. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unfalsifiability

Hollings, D. (2024, March 18). Unhealthy vs. healthy negative emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhealthy-vs-healthy-negative-emotions

Hollings, D. (2024, October 26). Unhelpful expectations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhelpful-expectations

Hollings, D. (2025, September 28). War crimes: A rational course of action. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/war-crimes-a-rational-course-of-action

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Hollings, D. (2025, October 20). Would there be enough evidence to convict you? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/would-there-be-enough-evidence-to-convict-you

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