Take Me Back

[DISCLAIMER]

On the intro of “Take Me Back”, from the album Tha Truth, Pt. 3 (2017), Houston, Texas rapper Trae tha Truth states, “Say, you remember that shit? Talmbout them days, nigga. We pull up, nigga. Sta-Flo, starched down!” If you’re unfamiliar with Texas hip hop, then you may be lost.

The phrase “talmbout” is a conjunction of the words “talking” and “about.” Also, Sta-Flo is a potent liquid starch which people from the South use when pressing (i.e., ironing) creases into garments. So you may know’m (i.e., know-what-I’m) talmbout, forgive me a personal anecdote.

In the above photo, taken in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil when I was a Marine Security Guard (MSG), my jeans were “starched down” by use of Sta-Flo, as Trae said. In this context, the phrase “take me back” refers to a desire for return to a previous, often happier or simpler, period in time.

When viewing the picture of me in Rio, it’s comprehensible how I may say to myself – as though I’m speaking to an entity with supernatural powers and the ability to transport beings to various points within time – “take me back to better times, like when I was ‘starched down’ in Rio!”

Why stop there? I learned how to wash and press my own clothes when in fifth grade. My late stepmom required that I learn to be self-determined and autonomous, establishing self-reliance by ironing each outfit I planned on wearing to school on a designated day of the weekend.

Back then, I used Faultless spray starch. Although there were plenty of moments during that period of my life which I’d never again want to re-experience, being taken back so that I could once again learn from the parental figure I most loved in this life would be nice.

After all, having learned invaluable lessons from my stepmom, I was adequately prepared for the rigors of military life in regard to uniform maintenance. For instance, on the MSG program, I was required to maintain a complete set of uniforms which were solely for inspection purposes.

This included heavily pressed socks and underwear! I learned to use undiluted Sta-Flo to the point whereby my uniform items and causal jeans could stand up by themselves when positioned in the middle of a room. Reflecting upon those simpler times, it’s nice to reminisce.

Yet, some people don’t merely request to be impossibly transported back in time. Unfavorably, there are many individuals who inflexibly demand “take me back” while using unhelpful conditional beliefs. Using Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), allow me to explain.

A conditional demand may manifest with an if-then, or either-or belief. For example, if I can’t re-experience happiness, as things once were, then I shouldn’t carry on in life! Using this belief, the condition of the second premise is entirely dependent upon fulfillment of the first premise.

Similarly, either I’ll be taken back in time—most likely figuratively, though literally, if at all possible—or I mustn’t even try to improve matters in the present! These sorts of if-then, and either-or beliefs can cause people not to be self-determined and autonomous, or self-reliant.

Therefore, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding one’s circle of control and USA, a person can admit helplessness when it comes to actual time travel. Therefore, the individual can instead take control of beliefs used about the past, present, and future. Thus, going back in time mentally, solely for reminiscence, is enough!

Concerning one’s circle of influence and UOA, an individual can recognize inherent fallibility in other people. For example, not only am I incapable of literally transporting back in time, Trae tha Truth isn’t a perfect being that’s capable of taking anyone – including himself – back in time.

Pertaining to one’s circle of concern and ULA, one can concede that although technology may one day exist that allows people to teleport backwards in time, no such method currently exists. Therefore, one can simply experience the positive, neutral, and negative aspects of the present.

As for the area of no concern, well… the entire topic of time travel is better suited for this realm of currently impossibility. Why waste what relatively little time one has left in this impermanent and uncertain existence contemplating impractical matters? Know’m talmbout?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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