Ash of Incense Falling: What Difference Does It Make?
- Deric Hollings

- 3 hours ago
- 6 min read
As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.
The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, who stated, “We are like many pellets of incense falling on the same altar. Some collapse sooner, others later, but it makes no difference” (page 357). Here, some definitions may be useful.
A pellet is a usually small rounded, spherical, or cylindrical body. Additionally, incense is material used to produce a fragrant odor when burned. As well, an altar is a usually raised structure or place on which sacrifices are offered or incense is burned in worship.
Also, difference is an instance of being unlike or distinct in nature, form, or quality. Provided this clarification, Aurelius analogizes people to “pellets of incense falling on the same altar,” demonstrating that irrespective of one’s status in life, we aren’t all that different in our outcomes.
Regarding this analogy, a personal anecdote comes to mind. In a blogpost entitled Reacting Emotionally Will Only Make the Situation Worse, I stated, “In childhood, I’d enjoyed how my late stepmom used to simmer potpourri oil on the stove.”
Along with the fragrant simmering of dried plants which filled our home with a pleasing aroma, my stepmom also used perfumed incense to create pleasant smells in the house. Noteworthy, one source states, “Smell and memory seem to be so closely linked because of the brain’s anatomy.”

Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use
According to another source, “Smell can instantly trigger an emotional response along with a memory, and our emotional states have a very strong effect on our physical well-being.” This matter relates to aromatherapy (inhalation of fragrant essential oils for therapeutic purposes).
With this understanding, I used to burn incense throughout my time during enlisted military service (1996-2007). No matter where I was stationed, I aromatically drifted back to pleasant memories of living with my stepmom. For instance, I bought fat incenses in Okinawa, Japan.
Burning fragrant sticks for pleasure, yet not as a matter of worship—as alluded to by Aurelius’ evocation of “many pellets of incense falling on the same altar,” I encountered ash (the solid residue left when combustible material is thoroughly burned or is oxidized by chemical means).
Therefore, when contemplating Aurelius’ analogy, I consider ash of incense falling. In this respect, I remove religious and spiritual connotations to which ancient Stoics often appealed. Regarding the overall topic of Aurelius’ view, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 357):
What’s the difference between you and the richest person in the world? One has a little more money than the other. What’s the difference between you and the oldest person in the world? One has been around a little longer than the other. Same goes for the tallest, smartest, fastest, and on down the line.
All fallible human beings have dissimilarities and similarities. For example, you may not have had a stepmother who simmered potpourri oil and burned incense within your home (i.e., dissimilarity). Still, you and I will inescapably die (i.e., similarity). Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Noting this factual information is a matter of comparison (examining the character or qualities of, especially in order to discover resemblances or differences), though isn’t a matter of measuring (estimation of what is to be expected, as of a person or situation).
Suppose I were to make an appraisal or evaluation (i.e., qualitative measurement) based on our similarities and dissimilarities. Hypothetically, I conclude that I’m better than you, as I have pleasant memories of incense, and that I’m superior, because I’ll die with favorable memories.
Of such behavior, authors of The Daily Stoic state, “Measuring ourselves against other people makes acceptance difficult, because we want what they have, or we want how things could have gone, not what we happen to have. But that makes no difference” (page 357).
What difference does it make that I have pleasant memories of incense? That doesn’t make me better than you, nor does the notion that I’ll die with favorable memories. Besides, you and I will still die and become ash of incense falling. Thus, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 357):
Some might see this line from Marcus as pessimistic, whereas others see it as optimistic. It’s really just truth. We’re all here and we’re all going to leave this earth eventually, so let’s not concern ourselves with petty differences in the meantime. We have too much to do.
You and I have dissimilarities and similarities. Still, we’re merely ash of incense falling. Thus, what difference does it make when we take measurement of one another, given that we’re all headed for death anyway? Now, I invite you to consider this matter while there’s still time.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html
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