Own It: Yeah, 'Dat Me!

[DISCLAIMER]

I use Reddit as a source for daily practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), as I recently came across a subreddit post that spawned within my mind a psychoeducational lesson on personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”).

Before proceeding any further, it may be useful to define terms. For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.

Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.

Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions. Here, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct.

When providing lessons on REBT, a psychotherapeutic modality which arguably requires that one preferably should take personal ownership in order to reduce self-disturbance (how people upset themselves with irrational beliefs), I lean heavily on responsibility and accountability.

This is because I maintain that people have personal agency (a person’s ability to control one’s own reactions to activating events which are beyond one’s own control, even when one’s response is limited by someone or something else). This is a matter of empowerment.

For clarity, my approach to REBT posits that you aren’t entitled to change the behavior or reactions of other people. Therefore, you can assume personal ownership of your own response to events which you consider undesirable, disagreeable, and otherwise. Own that shit!

Regarding the subreddit post, a video from TikTok content creator Cristina Méndez was depicted. Presumably satirizing sissy hypno, an edited form of pornography that uses erotic hypnosis tropes, Méndez’s heavily edited video infrequently features her saying “yeah!”

I laughed quite a bit at Méndez’s drawn-out manner of pronouncing the word (e.g., yeeeaaahhh). It was at that point that I thought of a hip hop song and a legal case. I’ll address each of these elements in sequential order.

First, on his album The Bruce Lean Chronicles: Vol 2 (2014), rapper Jackie Chain – not to be confused with actor Jackie Chan – released the song “Yea That’s Me” which featured rapper Yelawolf and lyricist Big K.R.I.T. On the hook, Big K.R.I.T. sings:

Yeah, ‘dat me! Yeah, ‘dat, yeah, ‘dat, yeah, ‘dat me! Yeah, ‘dat me! [x3]

Who ‘dat getting money? Ay, who ‘dat getting money, shawty?

The track uses the word “yeah” in plentiful fashion. Although not as humorous to me as Méndez’s pronunciation of the informal way to say “yes,” I appreciate that on the hook Big K.R.I.T. assumes ownership for his status. Personally, his example is empowering.

Second, when observing Méndez’s subjectively humorous content, I was reminded of another video at which I’ve laughed over the years when randomly encountering it. For context, one source states:

“Thicker Than a Bowl of Oatmeal” refers to a viral video of a scene from a 2014 episode of the TV series Lockup where a prosecutor reveals that a man, named Enrique Cruz, on trial hit on an undercover policewoman by saying, “Girl, you’re thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.”

The clip was posted online that year and went viral, inspiring the catchphrase “thicker than a bowl of oatmeal” to spread over the following years, as well as the scene of Cruz becoming an exploitable in other memes. […] After the prosecutor reads the line, Cruz points proudly at her.

Photo credit, property of Lockup, fair use

Perhaps what I most appreciate about the viral video is that when the prosecutor ostensibly attempted to evoke shame in the defendant, presumably using male sexuality as a weapon, Cruz didn’t cower in the courtroom. Instead, he used a Méndez-esque “yeeeaaahhh” response.

After his day in court, Cruz was interviewed regarding the matter. Rather than trembling and recanting his arguably healthy reaction to a nonsensical attempt at shaming him, Cruz responded, “Ay, ay! She had a fat ass! You know’mean? I wanted to see.” I find his honesty empowering.

This is because there was no dis-empowering whimper in Cruz’s response. He said what he said. Moreover, he owned his words and mannerisms both in the courtroom and when interviewed afterward. It’s as though he expressed, “Yeah, ‘dat me!” He owned it. I can respect that.

Perhaps you use irrational beliefs about my advocacy for Cruz’s reaction. Maybe you maintain a delusional perspective that aligns with feminism, which regards the so-called “male gaze” outside of artistic endeavors and into social function as an affliction upon society. Too bad!

While you’re free to retain the wacky beliefs you hold, I submit that some people like oatmeal… a lot! If they happen to enjoy gazing at or even commenting on what they see, you can attempt to shame their behavior. Perchance you’ll achieve success with your attempts to influence others.

Alternatively, combining the content of Méndez, hook from Big K.R.I.T., and reaction by Cruz, some of us may simply respond to you, “Yeeeaaahhh, ‘dat me! Yeah, ‘dat, yeah, ‘dat, yeah, ‘dat me! Yeah, ‘dat me,” while pointing at you. After all, some of us own our shit. How about you?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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