The Wet Duck Flies Backward at Midnight

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Photo credit (edited), photo credit (edited), fair use

“The wet duck flies backward at midnight.” That’s what was written on the chalkboard by a student at Randall High School in 1992. I stared at the expression, trying to make sense of it. As the bell had just rung, signaling students to transition from one class to another, I walked away.

On my way out of the room, I observed a teacher chuckling at my bewilderment. “What did the sentence mean?” I wondered. Returning to class on the following day, I inquired about the confusing expression. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the educator replied with a grin.

Perhaps there was a deeper meaning she didn’t want to share with me. For the remainder of that second day, I looked for the student who’d written the sentence. He wasn’t in my usual class, though apparently had stopped by for a personal visit with the teacher. I couldn’t locate him.

Therefore, I asked about the matter to the houseparents of the children’s home in which I lived. They were no help. I inquired about the saying with other children on the residential placement campus. Apparently, nobody knew anything about what the phrase meant.

I asked people from the church congregation of which I was a member, kids within the youth group I attended and who went to others schools, and even strangers in passing by. Not a single person had any clue about the expression or what I was saying.

Mostly, I received baffling looks from the people I probed. It was as though I asked questions which were absurd (ridiculously unreasonable, unsound, or incongruous). For the remainder of that year, I upset myself with beliefs about the quote.

If you’re unfamiliar with Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), then the way I phrased that last sentence may sound odd. Allow me to explain.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as self-disturbance.

As an example, people perceived me as though I was crazy when asking about what “the wet duck flies backward at midnight” meant (Action). Using an absolute form of demandingness, I then Believed, “I [absolutely] must know what the expression means!”

With that unproductive personal script, I self-disturbed into an irritable disposition (Consequence). This included ruminating thoughts (cognitive), anger (emotive), pounding in my chest (sensation), and snapping at people when not receiving the answer I demanded (behavior).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Unaware of REBT and how to un-disturb myself, I eventually gave up my quest for knowledge regarding the reference written on a chalkboard in ninth grade. Years later, I discovered that comedian Jackie Vernon had a comedy album entitled A Wet Bird Never Flies At Night (1964).

Addressing Vernon’s variant of the expression, one source plainly states, “It means nothing. That’s the point.” Apparently, Vernon’s comedy bit was intentionally absurd.

Per a similar source, “Vernon used to quote a non-existent Guru and philosopher named Sig Sakowitz who doled out proverbs and bits of wisdom like “A wet bird never flies at night.” It means absolutely nothing, but it’s supposed to sound profound. That’s the joke!”

How much precious time did I waste in pursuit of a deeper meaning to an absurd quote? That’s time I’ll never recover. Alas, I’d been had by my own devotion to absurdity!

According to one source, “The Classical Greek philosopher Plato often used ‘absurdity’ to describe very poor reasoning, or the conclusion from adopting a position that is false and thus reaching a false conclusion, called an ‘absurdity’ (argument by reductio ad absurdum).”

What justification (i.e., reason) did I use when self-disturbing over an absurd and meaningless quote written on a chalkboard at Randall High School? “I must know what the expression means!” Now that, dear reader, was an absurd standard of living!

All these years later, I’m able to syphon a psychoeducational lesson from my lived experience. Searching for answers when or where there simply aren’t any is a common occurrence in life. Still, you don’t have to use very poor reasoning that causes an unpleasant outcome, as I did.

Hence, I invite you to dispute your absurd beliefs… especially when these unhelpful scripts concern absurdity in the first place. Also, if you’d like to know more about REBT, then I look forward to hearing from you. Until then, the wet duck flies backward at midnight.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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