You Are Not a Bad Person

[DISCLAIMER]

*Black Rabbit (2025) spoilers contained herein.

Photo credit, property of Netflix, fair use

Because I’m a fan of Jude Law and Jason Bateman’s acting ability, I recently decided to watch the crime thriller television miniseries Black Rabbit (2025). Describing the plot, one source states:

Set against the backdrop of New York City’s high-pressure nightlife scene, two brothers are pushed to the brink by their duty to family and their pursuit of success. Jake Friedken [Law] is the charismatic owner of Black Rabbit, a restaurant and VIP lounge, poised to become the hottest spot in New York.

But when his brother Vince [Bateman] returns to the business unexpectedly, trouble soon follows; opening the door to old traumas and new dangers that threaten to bring down everything they’ve built. Sometimes an unbreakable bond between two brothers can shatter their world, and everything in its orbit.

Throughout the eight-episode season, the audience eventually discovers that in childhood Vince killed his and Jake’s dad to protect their mom from an intimate partner violence event. Standing at the top floor of their home, Vince dropped a bowling ball on the head of his dad.

From that moment on, Vince’s life was substantially impacted. For instance, he owed money to people for unpaid gambling debts, engaged in substance abuse, remained estranged from his adult-aged daughter, and Vince experienced significant interpersonal relationship dysfunction.

Viewing this matter through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I realize that from a psychological standpoint people disturb themselves by using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection, which isn’t the same as an Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

Allow me to explain. The first tool of REBT is the ABC model that illustrates when an undesirable Action occurs and one Believes an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s one’s unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence.

In Vince’s case, he murdered his dad in childhood (Action) and thereafter develops the fundamentally unfavorable Belief, “I’m just bad news.” In REBT, this is known as a global evaluation whereby an individual commits the unhelpful practice of self-downing.

Additionally, Vince Believes of his behavior which impacts his brother, “I shouldn’t have been here. I shouldn’t have even fuckin’… I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I shouldn’t have put you in any of it.” In REBT, this is known as demandingness or shoulding all over the place.

With these unproductive self-narratives, Vince experiences ruminating thoughts (cognitive), sorrow (emotive), and heaviness throughout his body (sensational), as he calmly sits and weeps (behavioral). All of this is the result (Consequence) of his B-C connection.

However, none of this results from an A-C connection. In other words, Vince having murdered his dad with a bowling ball (Action) didn’t cause his unpleasant cognitive, emotive, sensational, or behavioral outcome (Consequence).

Ill-advisedly for Vince, he continues working himself into a meta-emotional experience when using the demandingness Belief regarding Jake, “You gotta get outta here. You gotta get away from me!” He then stands when crying and experiencing depressive symptoms (Consequence).

Even though Vince is visually distraught, Jake has an opportunity to discuss the secret Vince has carried throughout their lives – that Vince was the A-C cause of their dad’s death. Forgiving of his older brother, Jake asks, “Why didn’t you talk to me?” about the event.

Vince responds, “I’m not gonna fuckin’ talk to you. I’m not gonna tell you. I was fuckin’ protecting you. I’m not gonna… I’m not gonna taint you with that shit!” In REBT, Vince’s distorted inference is that his younger brother would experience low frustration tolerance.

This self-disturbing narrative indicates that Vince has a lifetime Belief of his brother not being able to endure the details of their dad’s demise. As well, stating that Jake would be tainted by the information, Vince uses what is known in REBT as awfulizing (i.e., true information is awful).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Regarding the pivotal scene in review, Jake Disputes Vince’s Belief about having murdered their dad by saying, “Come on, it was a bad thing. Hey, it was a bad, bad thing that happened. But you are not a bad person, Vin.” Here, Jake accurately separates behavior from personhood.

When I provide psychoeducational lessons on REBT, this is a point that cannot be understated. Even concerning Adolf Hitler, in a blogpost entitled Are Immoral People Capable of Rational Thinking? I stated:

[P]eople aren’t their behavior. While it’s common to believe otherwise – especially when discussing moral, ethical, and legal matters (e.g., one who murders is regarded as a murderer) – imperfect humans may behave in immoral ways, though this doesn’t make an immoral person. Regarding this matter, Ellis [who developed of REBT] stated:

Much of what we can call the human “ego” is vague and indeterminate and, when conceived of and given a global rating, interferes with survival and happiness. Certain aspects of “ego” seem to be vital and lead to beneficial results: for people do exist, or have aliveness, for a number of years, and they also have self-consciousness, or awareness of their existence.

In this sense, they have uniqueness, ongoingness, and “ego”. What people call their “self” or “totality” or “personality”, on the other hand, has a vague, almost indefinable quality. People may well have “good” or “bad” traits—characteristics that help or hinder them in their goals of survival or happiness—but they really have no “self” that “is” good or bad.

Thus, humans are fallible, we aren’t our behavior, and although we may behave in immoral ways, we aren’t immoral people. Likewise, individuals often – and perhaps most often – maintain irrational beliefs, though we aren’t our beliefs either.

Jake introduced to Vince the helpfully Effective new belief that despite having behaved in a “bad, bad” manner by murdering their dad in defense of their mom, Vince was merely a fallible human being. He wasn’t a monster!

The second tool of REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

Whereas the ABC model is a scientific approach to wellness, UA serves as a philosophical method for un-disturbing yourself. I view the former as an abortive approach to disturbance and the latter as a preventative method. Of course, not all REBT practitioners use the same style as I.

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

In Vince’s case, he could’ve acknowledged that he was essentially imperfect (USA), that his dad was also fundamentally flawed (UOA), and that having committed murder – while a “bad, bad thing that happened,” according to Jake – was an inalterable aspect of Vince’s past (ULA).

Yet, no amount of Disputation was accepted by Vince. Also, he didn’t otherwise practice helpful UA. Therefore, as I suspected when somber music began playing halfway through the final episode, Vince completed suicide in front of his brother by intentionally falling from a rooftop.

Even when people maintain awareness of REBT tools, of which there was no indication of Vince knowing anything about, they sometimes neglect use of these useful techniques. As such, it isn’t too surprising to me if or when people who know of REBT also wind up taking their own lives.

While I can’t speak for the dead, I can state a word of caution for the living. You are not a bad person! If you don’t accept this – and do so unconditionally – then gambling, substance abuse, estrangement from loved ones, interpersonal relationship dysfunction, and suicide may result.

Not all of us who’ve considered suicide – some of us since nine-years-old – actually desire to fall face-up from a rooftop. If you’re included in this cohort, though still experience B-C self-disturbance; then I invite you to begin daily practice of REBT. It very well may save your life.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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