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I Must Do Well, or Else I Will Be Worthless

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 8 hours ago
  • 5 min read

 

The late psychologist Albert Ellis, who developed Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), formerly called Rational Emotive Therapy (RET), addressed the matter of self-downing (how people upset themselves with unhelpful beliefs about themselves) through use of a technique.

 

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

 

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to upset themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

 

Regarding self-downing evaluations and appraisals of oneself (i.e., global evaluations), Ellis once stated, “There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.” Concerning this worldview, one REBT source states (page 63):

 

RET does not tell us much about the garden-variety process of emotion generation or the accuracy of the person’s appraisals of daily encounters with the environment. In addition to stable beliefs that affect recurrent or characteristic emotional responses, we need a set of principles about how the person goes about judging how things are going at any given moment.

 

Although Ellis does not provide such principles, he does acknowledge in personal correspondence that there are different degrees to which people hold irrational beliefs, and that irrational negative beliefs such as “I must do well [D], or else I will be worthless [G]” are apt to begin with a rational negative belief, for example, “I would highly prefer to do well, or else I will suffer disadvantages.”

 

Ellis’s assumption is that people easily and frequently jump from a weak and more or less rational version to a strong or rigidly irrational version. The person’s difficulties begin when rational negative beliefs escalate to irrational negative extremes, which make the basis for recurrent emotional disturbance and dysfunction.

 

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

 

Regarding the aforementioned REBT source, I marked the Demandingness script (i.e., I must do well) and the Global evaluation (i.e., or else I will be worthless). Using this unhelpful self-narrative makes use of an unaccommodating conditional belief (i.e., if-then, either-or, etc.).

 

Helpfully, the REBT source also identifies an accommodating conditional belief that may instead be used (i.e., I would highly prefer to do well, or else I will suffer disadvantages). Given this healthy perspective, a person gives oneself the possibility of failure.

 

Bear in mind that failing does not make you a failure. Thus, simply because you don’t do well doesn’t mean that you are worthless. Your efforts may lack worth, though you don’t. Ergo, you can let go of irrational global evaluations and accept rational negative beliefs.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


Photo credit (edited), Designed by Freepik, fair use

 

References:

 

AEI. (n.d.). About Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://albertellis.org/about-albert-ellis-phd/

Alexander, R. (2022, May 25). Three musts which hold us back. REBT Info. Retrieved from https://rebtinfo.com/three-musts-which-hold-us-back/

Ellis, A., Bernard, M. E., and DiGiuseppe, R. (1989). Inside Rational Emotive Therapy: A Critical Appraisal of the Theory and Therapy of Albert Ellis. Academic Press. Retrieved from https://welib.st/md5/bd902025f5aa5228033fcf1963fe9279

Hollings, D. (2025, October 19). Adhering to invisible scripts. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/adhering-to-invisible-scripts

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