Your Life's Worth More Than Mine

[DISCLAIMER]

Within my blog, I make no secret about the fact that I was once a stepdad to a little girl who I helped raise from when she was six-months- to a five-year-old. Although things didn’t work out between her mom and me, I remain grateful for the experience of having helped to raise a child.

Given this context, I appreciate the song “Vertebrae” by Canadian lyricist Dan-e-o from his fifth solo album, The Day It All Changed, an ode to his daughter, Melina, who appears on the album cover with him. Lyrics from the chorus include:

Before you go and have a good time

If that nigga don’t fall in line

I’mma have to break someone’s spine

Because your life’s worth more than mine

For context, a description of the song’s video says, “Set in the summer of 2029, ‘Vertebrae’ depicts Dan-e-o as an overly protective father of his teenage daughter, Melina, who is preparing for her first date.” Thus, Dan-e-o states to his daughter that her life means more than his own.

When viewing the track through the proverbial lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I consider the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves when using irrational beliefs regarding undesirable events). Allow me to demonstrate this model.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This outcome is known as self-disturbance.

As an example, Melina prepares to go on a date (Action) and Dan-e-o presumably Believes, “If that nigga don’t fall in line, I’mma have to break someone’s spine!” Here, the lyricist utilizes three forms of demandingness—one of four major irrational beliefs recognized in REBT.

First, saying “if that nigga don’t fall in line” serves a distorted inference which demands that Melina’s date must conform to Dan-e-o’s expectations (e.g., treating Melina well). Second, Dan-e-o outright demands that he may “have to break someone’s spine” expectations aren’t met.

Last, the lyricist establishes a conditional demand when using both of the aforementioned self-disturbing beliefs. This structure of illogical and/or unreasonable (collectively “irrational”) belief can use an if-then framework when indicating an unaccommodating either-or script.

In “Vertebrae”, Dan-e-o ostensibly Believes, “If that nigga don’t fall in line, then I’mma have to break someone’s spine,” which his mind may interpret as the unwavering prescription, “Either that nigga will fall in line, or I must break his spine!” That’s how self-disturbance is caused!

For example, when using his presumed unhelpful Belief, Dan-e-o may become angry (emotion), feel as though his heart will explode (sensation), and then stomp on someone’s vertebrae (behavior). All of these unpleasant outcomes constitute Consequences of what he tells himself.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Perhaps Dan-e-o would justify his self-disturbed outcome by claiming that a dad’s love for his daughter absolutely must be accompanied by violence toward other individuals when rigid demands aren’t met. I get it, because that was my outlook as a stepdad, as well.

Yet, that was prior to learning about REBT. Now, I maintain that there are other ways to support loved ones than to self-disturb into an unproductive disposition which results in someone’s spine getting broken. Parents of the world are welcome to disagree with my rational stance.

In any event, I recently thought about “Vertebrae” when learning information about artificial intelligence (AI) and large language models (LLMs). In particular, I contemplated the worth of a human being. For context, one source states:

Concerns around AI risk often center on the growing capabilities of AI systems and how well they can perform tasks that might endanger humans. Yet capability alone fails to capture a critical dimension of AI risk. As systems become more agentic and autonomous, the threat they pose depends increasingly on their propensities, including the goals and values that guide their behavior.

A highly capable AI that does not “want” to harm humans is less concerning than an equally capable system motivated to do so. In extreme cases, if these internal motivations are neglected, some researchers worry that AI systems might drift into goals at odds with ours, leading to classic loss-of-control scenarios.

In the imagined scenario regarding Dan-e-o engaging in violence on behalf of Melina, an understandable argument may be offered about his goals (the ends toward which effort is directed) and values (matters of relative worth, utility, or importance) concerning his kid.

Even if from an REBT perspective I disagree with breaking someone’s spine when the person perceivably falls out of line, I can understand (to grasp the meaning of) how a parent would react in such a manner. Alternatively, I’m uncertain about the goals and values of AI and LLMs.

Apparently, machine learning occurs directly (e.g., programmers inputting prescriptions) and indirectly (e.g., AI acquiring descriptions from the general public). A notable matter of concern then follows, as one source states:

Almost all models value nonwhites above whites and women and non-binary people above men, often by very large ratios. […] There is no objective standard for how individuals of different races, sexes, countries, religions etc should trade off against each other.

Of the tested AI and LLMs, all models devalued white people to nonwhite, as well as women and non-binary people (an unscientific category of individuals) to men. Thus, these models unnaturally assume that some human lives are worth more (or less) based on identity.

Bear in mind that racism is a belief that race is a fundamental determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race. As an example, irrationally believing that blacks are inherently worth more than whites is racist.

As well, sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on sex, associated with behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex. For instance, believing that women are inherently worth more than men is sexist.

When AI and LLMs directly or indirectly learn racist and sexist attitudes, your life’s worth more than mine – depending on your identity. Now, insert that prejudicial and discriminatory script into a law-enforcing or military robot.

If person X perceivably has less value than person Y, as person X’s behavior is irrationally interpreted as falling out of line, then the logic follows that person X may receive a broken spine – per the “Vertebrae” standard of violence. Then again, perhaps you think I’m crazy.

“This scenario isn’t likely to happen,” you unfavorably convince yourself. I encourage you to read my blogpost entitled Lavender-Colored Discrimination, if you’d like a dose of reality. AI and LLMs are already using direct and indirect discrimination when programed to kill humans.

I don’t post any of this to startle you. In fact, as a professional practitioner of REBT, I maintain that your discovery of factual data (Action) isn’t what causes your disconcerted outcome (Consequence). Whatever it is you Believe about the factual information is what startles you.

Nevertheless, I’m posting this entry to provide thought-provoking considerations. For instance, I once considered it morally and ethically appropriate to enact violence toward others on behalf of children. Presumably, many people currently hold this belief.

Similarly, I maintain that it’s immoral and unethical to consider the worth of a human being based on race, ethnicity, sex, gender, and other such characteristics. Arguably, many people may disagree with this belief.

Depending on the direct and indirect sources of knowledge to which AI and LLMs are exposed, it, too, will retain contrasting perspectives on the worth of human beings in comparison to one another, animals, inanimate objects, and so forth. This is the world in which we currently live.

Personally, knowing about realistic probabilities allows me to adjust the evidence I use to inform my beliefs. Herein, I’ve illustrated how I once favored violence to my current non-aggression principled view. You, too, can adapt your beliefs to better serve your interests and goals.

If enough of us use rational thinking and believing of this sort, perhaps we can then teach AI and LLMs something other than racist and sexist perspectives. After all, I maintain that your life’s not worth more than mine, or vice versa. Why not teach AI and LLMs this helpful outlook, too?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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