Cutting That Which Isn't Necessary

[DISCLAIMER]

When working in the field of nuclear security (2004-2008), I obtained a divorce. Following the ultimately healthy dissolution of that unhealthy union, I began body sculpting (achieving a lean and defined aesthetic by increasing muscle density and reducing fat to highlight muscularity).

Notably, I achieved imperfect success with my interests and goals, which required a lot of cutting that which wasn’t necessary (e.g., reduction of empty caloric intake). When serving in the Marine Corps (1996-2007), this process was known as “trimming the fat.”

Whereas “fat” relates to animal tissue (to include humans) consisting chiefly of cells distended with greasy or oily matter, it also colloquially regards something in excess. Therefore, trimming the fat concerns the elimination of an undesirable surplus.

Within my blog, I’ve alluded to trimming the fat regarding relationships which aren’t well aligned with one’s interests and goals. Perhaps unsurprisingly, some people reject cutting that which isn’t necessary, as figuratively obese conditions are preferable to a lean existence.

I understand the desire underlying this irrational belief. Imagine that two decades ago I believed, “I mustn’t get a divorce, as that would be awful, so I’ll instead retain the virtual fat of infidelity, lying, intimate partner violence, and character reputation from this relationship.” GTFOH!

It’s often the case in one’s impermanent and uncertain life that cutting that which isn’t necessary is the best option for success with one’s interests and goals, even when doing so is quite an uncomfortable experience. Now, I’m reminded of this invaluable lesson as I read a book.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The term “necessary” relates to that which is absolutely needed (i.e., food, water, and oxygen in order to sustain human life). Unhelpfully, fallible human beings tend to retain in, rather than cut from, their lives the unnecessary elements which are misaligned with interests and goals.

For example, when body sculpting, I kept using the questionable practice of cheat meals (scheduled, temporary breaks from rigorous nutritional plans, allowing one to eat restricted foods, with hope of improving long-term dietary adherence and providing cathartic relief).

In actuality, I self-sabotaged my progress by continually backtracking on my hard-earned accomplishments. Thus, I wasn’t fully cutting that which wasn’t necessary. Regarding this topic, authors of The Daily Stoic quote ancient Stoic Marcus Aurelius who stated (page 254):

It is said that if you would have peace of mind, busy yourself with little. But wouldn’t a better saying be do what you must and as required of a rational being created for public life?

For this brings not only the peace of mind of doing few things, but the greater peace of doing them well. Since the vast majority of our words and actions are unnecessary, corralling them will create an abundance of leisure and tranquility.

As a result, we shouldn’t forget at each moment to ask, is this one of the unnecessary things? But we must corral not only unnecessary actions but unnecessary thoughts, too, so needless acts don’t tag along after them.

Whether trimming the literal fat of one’s body, figurative fat in a military unit (e.g., underperforming members), virtual fat of a maladaptive relationship (e.g., cheating spouse), or allegorical fat of thoughts and actions, cutting that which isn’t necessary may be helpful.

Again, focus on whether or not this is a comfortable – or even easy – process isn’t necessary for this approach to rational living. Attention to that unnecessary factor will likely result in unnecessary outcomes. Of this, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 254):

The Stoics were not monks. They didn’t retreat to the sanctuary of a monastery or a temple. They were politicians, businessmen, soldiers, artists. They practiced their philosophy amid the busyness of life—just as you are attempting to do.

When protecting our nation’s primary nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly facility, I focused on cutting that which wasn’t necessary when at work and in my free time. As expressed herein, I did this imperfectly. Not dissimilarly, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 254):

The key to accomplishing that is to ruthlessly expunge the inessential from our lives. What vanity obligates us to do, what greed signs us up for, what ill discipline adds to our plate, what a lack of courage prevents us from saying no to. All of this we must cut, cut, cut.

I don’t know about “ruthlessly” expunging unnecessary elements of life, though I advocate a good enough and achievable standard toward success with your interests and goals. When thinking further about this matter, a song comes to mind.

On the album Delgado (2021) by lyricist Flee Lord, produced by lyricist Roc Marciano, is the track “Trim the Fat” that features rapper Stove God Cooks. On the interlude, Flee Lord states:

I lost a motherfucking business and mad friends

But guess what?

All the real, righteous still here with me

See, you gotta trim the fat

That’s what the fuck I just did

I trimmed the fat!

And that’s why we winning

Aye!

Per Flee Lord’s perspective, cutting that which isn’t necessary is a strategy for winning in life. This method, when done imperfectly and with a focus on a good enough standard, has served me well, too. Now, I invite you to consider this productive method for your interests and goals.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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