Sympathy: I Belong to the World - An Individualist's View

[DISCLAIMER]

A little over a decade ago, nitape’skw (nee-dub-besk) and I discussed lyricist Oddisee’s album The Good Fight (2015)—one of my all-time favorite hip hop albums. For instance, my beloved friend and I conversed about our opposing views regarding the track “Belong to the World”.

Nitape’skw was a proud member of the Penobscot Nation, thus a Native American (also called American Indian), a United States (U.S.) citizen, and a Mainer (a native resident of Maine). As well, she was affiliated with various other Native identities which aren’t details I’ll reveal herein.

I identified first as a Texan, then as a U.S. citizen. I was also bestowed the title of an honorary Carioca. Though I’m currently agnostic regarding religion, I was raised under the doctrines of both the Jehovah’s Witnesses and the Churches of Christ, as I once identified as a Christian.

Regarding my religious basis, I abided by 1 John 2:15, “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” Thus, my identities as a Texan, U.S. citizen, and Carioca mattered less than my Christian identity.

Yet, abandoning religiosity, I embraced individualism (the moral stance, political philosophy, ideology, and social outlook that emphasizes the worth or central role of the individual). Currently, I consider myself an individualist (one that advocates or practices individualism).

Thus, nitape’skw and I shared our conflicting views on “Belong to the World”. Notably, Oddisee reportedly self-identifies as a ‘Sudanese American, Arab, African, and Muslim’. Thus, there was a diverse range of perspectives about the track which were worth discussing, as the lyricist states:

What’s a clique, what’s a crew, what’s a gang

To a brother who been doing this thing all along?

I belong to my name, that’s the only set I claim.

I ain’t bothered by the politics of fame. I perform, they

Put on, that’s the norm. Trying to get me on a song, like

Baller this, shooter that, then they got the wrong mic.

This the wrong platform, they about the wrong life.

This is for the people. I’m just trying to cut a path forward.

Trying make some music for the future that will last long,

Though they never asked for it.

I’ma give it to ‘em. I’ma give it to ‘em!

Pioneering tunes, and forever I’ma live through ‘em.

Word to Bob Marley, he put memories in melodies.

It’s relevant in the present, though he made it in the ‘70s.

That right there was telling me the classic where it better be,

And if it ain’t, then it don’t deserve to represent the pedigree.

Part of the solution, or part of the problem.

All the moving parts in the process revolving.

What are you involved in? Answered my calling.

I belong to the world!

If memory serves, nitape’skw favored cosmopolitanism (the idea that all human beings are members of a single community)—a form of collectivism (a psychological, ethical, and social perspective that emphasizes collective relationship networks, in contrast to individualism).

Of this perspective, I’m reminded of a quote attributed to the late comedian, actor and comic vocalist Groucho Marx, “I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.” Regarding why I relate to Groucho’s quip, I stated in Solo Dolo:

“How you gon’ be a social worker when you don’t like people?” my late stepmom once asked me when informed that I was accepted into a graduate program for social work. At the time, I didn’t have an adequate response to her question.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like all people, because I hadn’t met every living person on Earth and I couldn’t rationally maintain such a position. Throughout my life, I’ve favored solitude more than most people I’ve ever met and this fact once earned me the label “odd duck”—an outcast.

Additionally, I tend to become physically drained when interacting with groups of people for an extended amount of time, I have a lifelong history of getting lost in my thoughts and preferring time alone to being around others, and I’ve continually faced judgement from others for how I behave in this regard.

In that blogpost, I outlined an element of my identity related to being asocial, which the American Psychological Association (APA) defines as “declining to engage, or incapable of engaging, in social interaction” and “lacking sensitivity or regard for social values or norms.”

Nitape’skw and I believed differently in this regard. Personally, that’s one of the elements that makes for a beautiful friendship—acknowledgement and acceptance of diverging outlooks. Nonetheless, I stated in Asocial Togetherness: Me, Myself, and I:

I prefer a “me, myself, and I” way of life. Simultaneously, I appreciate working with others in individual client sessions as a psychotherapist. Per [Marcus] Aurelius’s view, I’m fulfilling my natural purpose which is more fitting and more satisfying than a life of complete solitude.

While nitape’skw and Oddisee favor cosmopolitanism, I value individualism. All the same, I don’t deny that “I belong to the world,” as Oddisee expressed, because I’m not a figurative island unto myself. Given this matter of truth about reality, I’m reminded of a book that I’m reading.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote Aurelius, an ancient Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher who stated, “That which isn’t good for the hive, isn’t good for the bee” (page 303). This is a collectivist expression about which authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 303):

Inherent in the Stoic concept of sympatheia is the notion of an interconnected cosmos in which everything in the universe is part of a larger whole. Marcus Aurelius was one of the first writers to articulate the notion of cosmopolitanism—saying that he was a citizen of the world, not just of Rome.

The idea that you’re a bee in the hive is a reminder of this perspective. Marcus even states the reverse of that idea later in his Meditations, just so he doesn’t forget: “That which doesn’t harm the community can’t harm the individual.”

One source defines the word sympatheia as “affected by like feelings; exerting mutual influence, interacting.” Similarly, the APA thusly defines the term sympathy:

1. feelings of concern or compassion [a strong feeling of sympathy with another person’s feelings of sorrow or distress, usually involving a desire to help or comfort that person] resulting from an awareness of the suffering or sorrow of another.

2. more generally, a capacity to share in and respond to the concerns or feelings of others. See also empathy [as well as my perspective on empathy].

3. an affinity between individuals on the basis of similar feelings, inclinations, or temperament.

When attending graduate school for social work, I was taught a helpful distinction between sympathy and empathy. The former is “I feel sorrow for you,” as the latter is “I feel sorrow with you.” Regarding sympathy, another source states:

According to philosopher David Hume, this sympathetic concern is driven by a switch in viewpoint from a personal perspective to the perspective of another group or individual who is in need.

Hume explained that this is the case because “the minds of all men are similar in their feelings and operations” and that “the motion of one communicates itself to the rest” so that as “affections readily pass from one person to another… they beget correspondent movements.”

Along with Hume, two other men, Adam Smith and Arthur Schopenhauer, worked to better define sympathy. Hume was mostly known for epistemology, Smith was known for his economic theory, and Schopenhauer for the philosophy of the will.

American [social work] professor Brené Brown views sympathy as a way to stay out of touch with one’s emotions. They attempt to make sense out of the situation and see it from the person receiving the sympathy’s perception.

As I understand Brown’s arguably cosmopolitan perspective, as opposed to my individualist view, feeling sorrow with someone is likely more preferable than feeling sorrow for someone. We can agree to disagree. In any event, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 303):

Just because something is bad for you doesn’t mean it’s bad for everyone. Just because something is good for you definitely doesn’t mean it’s good for everyone.

Think of the hedge fund managers who bet massively against the economy—they profited by rooting for essentially everyone and everything else to fail. Is that who you want to be?

A good Stoic understands that proper impulses, and the right actions that arise from them, naturally carry the good of the whole, which is the wise person’s only good. Conversely, good and wise actions by the whole are what’s good for the individual.

I concede the point offered by authors of The Daily Stoic. Irrespective of a sympathetic or empathic perspective, “I belong to the world,” as expressed by Oddisee, and an individualist’s view in this regard doesn’t mean that I do only what is good or right for me. How about you?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, property of Mello Music Group, fair use

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