DERIC

[DISCLAIMER]

When recently providing a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) to someone who plans on starting a blog, I briefly discussed how I employ the technique of “use of self” with the content that I post. Admittedly, some REBT practitioners don’t do this.

Presumably, some clinicians find it easier to discuss their clients, imaginary patients, research data concerning other people, or vague references to anyone other than themselves. I, too, used to post inauthentic blogposts until a friend told me how artificial that content was. Boring!

Now, whether or not my posts are well-received by others, I unapologetically use myself, my own beliefs, and my behavior as subject matter. Noteworthy, I’m not the sole professional practitioner of REBT to employ this “use of self” technique.

The late psychologist who developed REBT, Albert Ellis, wasn’t particularly shy about using examples of himself when doing so was to the benefit of other people. For instance, Ellis stated in one interview:

I have done lots of other things that I regret but I never upset myself about those things. They’re just regrets, sorrows, disappointments, frustrations. I made mistakes, I am a fallible human who has made mistakes. Too bad. But I never put myself down for making these errors.

Similar to Ellis, I’ve made many mistakes! If you’ll forgive me a personal anecdote, then I’ll discuss a historical error and how use of two REBT tools could’ve benefited me during that time.

From half of fifth to half of my seventh grade years, I lived in Aurora, Colorado. When attending West Middle School, I accidentally injured myself when riding a skateboard (also known as a “skate deck”).

When hunched over the skate deck with one knee on the board and using my other leg to propel myself forward, I zoomed along the sidewalk of my neighborhood. That journey came to a crashing end when one of the skateboard wheels encountered a piece of loose gravel on my path.

That’s when I learned an invaluable lesson about inertia (the natural tendency of objects in motion to stay in motion and objects at rest to stay at rest, unless a force causes its velocity to change). The skate deck was instantly stopped! Yet, my body was thrust ahead of the board!

Stopping my forward motion was concrete. Landing on my face wasn’t an optimal outcome, though it happened nonetheless. Both of my central incisors were chipped, I sustained a gnarly scrape on the narrow groove between my nose and upper lip, and I ended up with a bloody nose.

During that time in my life, my smile was a feature on which I was often complimented. However, the mistake of recklessly riding my skateboard in a foolish manner resulted in an unhelpful mental script with which I upset myself. This matter will serve as my REBT example.

Specifically, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as self-disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to upset themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD (as indicated below).

Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

For instance, from an A-C outlook, a piece of gravel on a concrete sidewalk encounters the moving wheel of a skateboard (Action). Thereafter, a body in motion continues in motion until acted upon by an outside force, such as my face slamming onto the sidewalk (Consequence).

When undesirably altering my smile (Action) and Believing, “I’m worthless [G], because I can’t stand that no one will again compliment my smile [L], as it’s horrible to have injured myself [A], since I shouldn’t have been so stupid [D],” then I made myself sad (Consequence).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

In consideration of how my parents chose to spell my name, I think of “DERIC” as relating to Demanding, Evaluative, Rigid, Intolerant, Consequential. That form of DERIC narrative is how I harshly judged myself. In REBT, this unaccommodating process is known as self-downing.

Not only do people down themselves in this way, we also unfortunately engage in other-downing and life-downing. Inopportunely, what I didn’t know when in middle school was that judging myself for mistakes, other people for theirs, or life as an imperfect experience wasn’t necessary.

After all, we fallible human beings aren’t our beliefs, actions, mistakes, or otherwise. Knowledge, wisdom, and understanding about this crucial distinction now bring to mind the second major tool of REBT.

For context, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

Whereas the ABC model is a scientific approach to wellness, UA serves as a philosophical method for un-disturbing yourself. I view the former as an abortive approach to disturbance and the latter as a preventative method. Of course, not all REBT practitioners use the same style as I.

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

GLAD narratives and DERIC scripts lead to self-, other-, and life-downing. Nevertheless, as expressed by Ellis, we all have done lots of regrettable things without needing to upset ourselves about such matters. In spite of everything, we aren’t our mistakes. Thus, you aren’t a blunder!

So I chipped my teeth in childhood. Too bad! I didn’t have to put myself down for making that error. Besides, I wound up receiving dental work for the issue. Even if I hadn’t, I’d retain worth as a human being. Finally, I’m not my smile, a skateboarding accident, or my DERIC scripts.

The same is true for you! Especially if you’re contemplating “use of self” via a blog, social media posts, or other mediums of expression, then I invite you to consider that good enough is good enough. So you’ll make errors with your posted content. Too bad. You aren’t an error!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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