UNO Reverse Card

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Photo credit (edited), fair use

In childhood, I enjoyed playing UNO (a shedding-type card game derived from the crazy eights family of card games). Notably, there was a “reverse” card that, in effect when played from the hand, switched the order of play directions (i.e., clockwise to counterclockwise, or vice versa).

As well, in effect as the first discard, the dealer played first while play then proceeded counterclockwise. Later in life, the UNO reverse card was the subject of a popular meme. According to one source:

UNO Reverse Card refers to a playing card in the game UNO which reverses the order of turns and is used as metaphorical term for a comeback or a karmic change of events. The meme has seen use primarily as an image to Photoshop.

When used in meme form, I think of the UNO reverse card as a means of un-disturbing oneself. To understand what I mean, it may be useful to first discuss the psychotherapeutic modality I practice, and to highlight content from a book that I’ve been steadily reading.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This process is known as self-disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD. Perhaps an example will be helpful.

You discover that your intimate partner has been unfaithful (Action). You then Believe, “I’m worthless without love [G], and I can’t stand that this has happened [L]! In fact, it’s terrible that this occurred [A], because people who tell me they love me must never be unfaithful [D]!”

When adopting this unfavorable script, you then experience depressive symptoms (Consequence). Noteworthy, there wasn’t an Action-Consequence (A-C) connection that caused your outcome. Rather, you self-disturbed using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

When providing psychoeducational lessons on the ABC model, I encourage daily practice of this modality in order to train one’s mind from using a misperceived A-C framework. Once people learn to accept that a B-C frame is what causes self-disturbance, individuals can then un-disturb.

This is where Stoic principles come in handy. For instance, authors of The Daily Stoic quote ancient Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius who stated, “Indeed, no one can thwart the purposes of your mind—for they can’t be touched by fire, steel, tyranny, slander, or anything” (page 173).

Per my interpretation of Aurelius’s stance, the philosopher advocated a B-C framework as a matter of rational consideration. In similar fashion, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 173):

Obstacles are a part of life—things happen, stuff gets in our way, situations go awry. But nothing can stop the Stoic mind when it’s operating properly, because in every course of action, it has retained “a reverse clause.”

What’s that? It’s a backup option. If a friend betrays us, our reverse clause is to learn from how this happened and how to forgive this person’s mistake. If we’re thrown in prison, our reverse clause is that we can refuse to be broken by this change of events and try to be of service to our fellow prisoners.

When a technical glitch erases our work, our reverse clause is that we can start fresh and do it better this time. Our progress can be impeded or disrupted, but the mind can always be changed—it retains the power to redirect the path.

A “reverse clause” is similar to the UNO Reverse Card meme. Yet, instead of redirecting a “karmic change of events” onto someone else (e.g., discovering that the intimate partner who was unfaithful to you was thereafter cheated on), it’s a matter of owning one’s own reaction.

This is a matter of personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”) regarding unpleasant consequences one endures in association with a B-C connection. Advocating a similar perspective, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 173):

Part of this is remembering the usual course of things—Murphy’s Law states that “if anything can go wrong, it will.” So we keep this reverse clause handy because we know we’re probably going to have to use it. No one can thwart that.

I’ve been cheated on by more than one intimate partner. Not long ago, a friend I’ve had for decades betrayed me. Not once, though twice, I was placed in a military prison for pretrial detention. As well, I once experienced a technical glitch that erased my entire hard drive.

If things can go wrong, they inevitably will. Yet, using an UNO reverse card by accepting the B-C connection and refuting the nonsense I tell myself is a matter of taking personal ownership for my outcomes. Given this view, are you prepared to UNO reverse into an un-disturbed condition?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

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