Hate Speech

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius who stated, “Do away with the opinion I am harmed, and the harm is cast away too. Do away with being harmed, and harm disappears” (page 125). Of this, I said in Elimination of Harmful Language:

I renounce the premise of words equating to harm. We may not like certain words, we may be offended by some phrases, or we may prefer not to hear some terms, though dislike, offense, and infringed preference are not synonymous with harm.

Colloquially, so-called “harmful speech” is referred to as “hate speech.” Regarding this arguably useless phrase, one source states:

Hate speech in the United States [U.S.] cannot be directly regulated by the government due to the fundamental right to freedom of speech protected by the Constitution. While “hate speech” is not a legal term in the United States, the U.S. Supreme Court has repeatedly ruled that most of what would qualify as hate speech in other western countries is legally protected speech under the First Amendment.

In a Supreme Court case on the issue, Matal v. Tam (2017), the justices unanimously reaffirmed that there is no “hate speech” exception to the free speech rights protected by the First Amendment and that the U.S. government may not discriminate against speech on the basis of the speaker’s viewpoint.

In academic circles, there has been debate over freedom of speech, hate speech, and hate speech legislation. Other forms of speech have lesser protection under court interpretations of the First Amendment, including commercial speech, “fighting words”, and obscenity.

From the perspective of rational thinking (that which is in accordance with both logic and reason), subjective arguments which support alleged hate speech moderation within the U.S. serve as a form of non sequitur (an inference that does not follow from the premises).

For example, consider the format of a modus ponens syllogism (if p, then q; p; therefore, q) in which the major premise (if p) and minor premise (then q) result in a conclusion (therefore, q). To illustrate a non sequitur, using this form of syllogism, I submit the following example:

If someone says something I don’t like, then hate speech is synonymous with “violence.” Someone says something I don’t like. Therefore, hate speech is synonymous with “violence.”

Although this proposal follows logical form (interrelation or sequence of facts or events when seen as inevitable or predictable), it isn’t reasonable (being in accordance with reason—a statement offered in explanation or justification). Therefore, it isn’t rational.

Nevertheless, I encounter many irrational arguments regarding apparent “hate speech” which, as far as the U.S. Constitution is concerned (i.e., the supreme law of the land), doesn’t even exist. Ergo, words aren’t violence. Regarding this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 125):

A word can have multiple meanings. One usage can be harsh and another might be completely innocent. The same word can mean a cruel slur or a pile of sticks. In the same way, something said sarcastically differs drastically from something that was pointed and mean.

According to one source, “Faggot, often shortened to fag, is a slur in the English language that was used to refer to gay men,” and, this “modern slang meaning developed from the standard meaning of faggot as ‘bundle of sticks for burning’ with regard to burning at the stake.”

Through my practice of REBT, I recognize that I’m a fallible human being (unconditional self-acceptance), I acknowledge that others are also imperfect (unconditional other-acceptance), and I admit that the past is unalterable (unconditional life-acceptance), as I stated in Tolerance:

[In high school,] a close friend and I frequently used the term “fagged out” or “gay” when describing undesirable elements of life (e.g., that t-shirt is fagged out, because it’s too small). By the time I became an adult and joined the Marines, I took the “fagged out” phrase with me on my travels.

Noteworthy, United States military policy from February 28, 1994 to September 20, 2011 was “don’t ask, don’t tell” – spanning the entirety of my service (1996-2007). This policy barred openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual persons from military service.

When stationed in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil, a friend and I made fun of “boiolas,” homosexual males. Frequently, we held up the letter ‘F’ on our hands to represent our disdain with men we believed were “fagged out”:

After the military, I continued expressing my prejudice when in the field of nuclear security. Another friend and I would commonly greet each other by saying, “What’s up, fag?” Also, rarely was there an opportunity for us not to label one thing or another as “gay.”

It wasn’t until graduate school for counseling, between 2009 and 2011, that I challenged my lifelong ideology of non-straight prejudice. This experience was directly correlated with having learned of REBT and having begun the practice of [unconditional acceptance].

While authors of The Daily Stoic tiptoed around the word “faggot” (i.e., “The same word can mean a cruel slur or a pile of sticks”), I refuse to self-censor in such a way. This is because I remain aware of the chilling effect on free speech that such behavior has, as one source clarifies:

A chilling effect is generally understood to be when an individual, organization, or group is prevented from exercising their legal rights, self-censoring either the sharing of information or abstaining from doing an activity, out of fear of repercussions and harm if they act.

One imagines that those who write a book on Stoic practice wouldn’t succumb to the cowardice of the chilling effect by actually stating the term “faggot” and at least attempting to make a rational case as to why use of the term is morally and ethically reprehensible. Yet, here we are.

For over half of my life, I used derogatory terms regarding non-straight people. Some would doubtlessly refer to such use as supposed “hate speech.” Regarding my historic and regrettable behavior, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 125):

The interpretation of a remark or a word has an immense amount of power. It’s the difference between a laugh and hurt feelings. The difference between a fight breaking out and two people connecting.

This is why it is so important to control the biases and lenses we bring to our interactions. When you hear or see something, which interpretation do you jump to? What is your default interpretation of someone else’s intentions?

Though I appreciate the overall interpreted sentiment of what the authors appear to advocate, I fundamentally disagree with their framing of the matter. This is because the lens I bring to this matter is one relating to the ABC model of REBT.

The ABC model illustrates that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as the unhelpful process of self-disturbance.

As an example, suppose that I called a gay man a “fag” (Action) and he unfavorably Believed, “Deric is a piece of shit that uses awful rhetoric! I can’t stand that he called me the f-word, because therapists shouldn’t speak that way!” With this conviction, he’s angered (Consequence).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Practice of the ABC model requires personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”), regarding a Stoic approach to rational living. Thus, authors of The Daily Stoic didn’t frame their prescriptive remedy according to a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection.

Given my framing of the matter, I concur with the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE) which states that “crafting a generally applicable definition of hate speech is all but impossible without silencing someone’s ‘legitimate’ speech.” There is no “hate speech.”

Taking personal ownership of your B-C self-disturbed reaction to speech which you consider unacceptable is an iss-YOU (i.e., your issue), not an iss-ME (i.e., not my issue), or anyone else’s for that matter. In conclusion, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 125):

If being upset or hurt is something you’d like to experience less often, then make sure your interpretations of others’ words make that possible. Choose the right inference from someone’s actions or from external events, and it’s a lot more likely that you’ll have the right response.

I concur with this postulation. You and only you are responsible for your reaction to presumed “hate speech” (which, again… doesn’t exist in the first place!). Regarding this matter, I stated in Emotional Responsibility:

[I]nstead of maintaining that something happens to you and you’re nothing more than a victim of circumstance, you can assume emotional responsibility. By recognizing that you self-disturb through use of unhelpful beliefs, you can break the chain of events which results in unproductive consequences.

This includes speech using terms such as fag, nigger, spick, kike, bitch, douche, wetback, Nazi, dyke, transformer, noob, incel, muzzie, basketball-American, libtard, Trumpanzee, milk toast fence-sitter, boiola, retard, and so forth and so on. All of these are contributors to an Action.

Yet, it’s your B-C connection that gives these words power. How about empowering yourself not to self-disturb? Besides, it’s irrational to Believe in hate speech. Why not practice resilience through high frustration tolerance and stop upsetting yourself about uttered or written syllables?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Dinerstein, C. (2025, September 7). From town square to Twitter feed: The science and politics of hate speech moderation. American Council on Science and Health. Retrieved from https://www.acsh.org/news/2025/09/17/town-square-twitter-feed-science-and-politics-hate-speech-moderation-49729

FIRE. (n.d.). Is hate speech legal? Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression. Retrieved from https://www.thefire.org/research-learn/hate-speech-legal

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2024, November 15). Assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/assumptions

Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing

Hollings, D. (2023, April 22). Control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/control

Hollings, D. (2023, March 12). Controlling the flow of harm. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/controlling-the-flow-of-harm

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness

Hollings, D. (2022, October 5). Description vs. prescription. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/description-vs-prescription

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2022, December 26). Elimination of harmful language. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/elimination-of-harmful-language

Hollings, D. (2024, March 6). Emotional responsibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/emotional-responsibility

Hollings, D. (2024, December 30). Empowerment. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/empowerment

Hollings, D. (2025, March 9). Factual and counterfactual beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/factual-and-counterfactual-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being

Hollings, D. (2022, November 13). Fear. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fear

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Global evaluations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/global-evaluations

Hollings, D. (2024, February 24). High frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/high-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2025, May 23). Inference chain. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/inference-chain

Hollings, D. (2024, May 10). Inferred meaning. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/inferred-meaning

Hollings, D. (2024, September 26). Interpreted reality. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interpreted-reality

Hollings, D. (2022, August 31). Iss-me vs. iss-you. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/iss-me-vs-iss-you

Hollings, D. (2025, March 4). Justification. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/justification

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2022, December 9). Like it, love it, accept it. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/like-it-love-it-accept-it

Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason

Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (2025, March 16). Modus ponens. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/modus-ponens

Hollings, D. (2023, October 2). Morals and ethics. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/morals-and-ethics

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2025, August 2). My philosophy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-philosophy

Hollings, D. (2022, October 16). Non sequitur. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/non-sequitur

Hollings, D. (2024, November 18). Opinions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/opinions

Hollings, D. (2022, November 7). Personal ownership. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-ownership

Hollings, D. (2025, September 9). Personal responsibility and accountability. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-responsibility-and-accountability

Hollings, D. (2025, September 19). Power. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/power

Hollings, D. (2025, May 3). Predictability of logic. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/predictability-of-logic

Hollings, D. (2025, April 25). Preferences vs. expectations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/preferences-vs-expectations

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, May 15). Rational living. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-living

Hollings, D. (2025, August 13). Rational versus irrational thoughts and beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-versus-irrational-thoughts-and-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, July 18). REBT flexibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-flexibility

Hollings, D. (2024, May 8). Resilience. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/resilience

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2023, October 17). Syllogism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/syllogism

Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2025, February 13). The past is passed. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-past-is-passed

Hollings, D. (2024, February 6). This ride inevitably ends. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/this-ride-inevitably-ends

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2024, June 14). Tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tolerance

Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux

Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2022, November 25). Victimhood. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/victimhood

Hollings, D. (2025, March 11). We live in an imperfect world. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/we-live-in-an-imperfect-world

Hollings, D. (2025, July 22). You almost always end up with regret. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-almost-always-end-up-with-regret

Kalfas, N. K. (2025, September 25). When words become weapons: How hate speech threatens democracy. International Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance. Retrieved from https://www.idea.int/news/when-words-become-weapons-how-hate-speech-threatens-democracy

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Chilling effect. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chilling_effect

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Commercial speech. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commercial_speech

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Constitution of the United States. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitution_of_the_United_States

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Don’t ask, don’t tell. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don%27t_ask,_don%27t_tell

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Faggot. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Fighting words. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fighting_words#United_States

Wikipedia. (n.d.). First Amendment to the United States Constitution. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Hate speech in the United States. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_speech_in_the_United_States

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Marcus Aurelius. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Aurelius

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Matal v. Tam. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matal_v._Tam

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Obscenity. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obscenity

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday