You Aren’t a No-Goodnik
As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) was formed by the late psychologist Albert Ellis, who reportedly developed the first cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) psychotherapeutic modality in 1955, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding his book, Ask Albert Ellis?: Straight Answers and Sound Advice from America’s Best-Known Psychologist.
Now, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the event itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.
Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):
REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).
Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.
Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world, wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.
Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
In order to demonstrate a distinction between the A-C and B-C connections, I thank you for granting me a personal anecdote. Regarding my service in the United States Marine Corps (1996-2007), I experienced significant administrative and legal problems when in the military.
Of this matter, I stated in a blogpost entitled Mistakes, “I was a ‘shit bird,’ according to some Marines. This pejorative term describes one who doesn’t fly straight and whose actions stink; a fuck-up.” In Ellis’ time, a shit bird was termed a “no-goodnik” (i.e., no-good, lowlife, etc.).
Now, from an A-C view, I made a lot of errors from approximately 2001 to 2003 (Action), as other Marines labeled me a “shit bird,” or what people in Ellis’ day would’ve called a “no-goodnik” (Consequence). Still, it was a B-C connection by which I experienced fear and shame.
Others considered me a no-goodnik (Action), I Believed, “I really am a shit bird [G], and this is intolerable [L], because it’s terrible being this way [A], as I absolutely must be better [D],” and I then caused my own fear of failure and shame regarding the mistakes I made (Consequences).
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
What I failed to realize when in the Marines, and for relatively many years thereafter, was that I wasn’t my behavior. While I behaved in a no-good way, I wasn’t a no-goodnik! Regarding this perspective shift, Ellis stated (pages 21 and 22):
If you’re afraid of elevators or trains, or people because they might reject you, and therefore you avoid them at all costs, you’d better minimize your idea that something terrible will happen if you don’t avoid them. You very likely will fail again and be rejected, but you won’t be a “no-goodnik” for failing and being rejected, so you better dispute that idea actively as well.
Now, I invite you to consider that you aren’t a no-goodnik, even if or when you behave in a no-good way. Perhaps by understanding this distinctive perspective shift, you can spare yourself relatively many years of unpleasant self-distress or self-disturbance!
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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Hollings, D. (2023, March 21). Matching bracelets. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/matching-bracelets
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