Don’t Nobody Else Make Me Feel Like: Sadness

[DISCLAIMER]

When browsing the Shuffle subreddit recently, I discovered one Redditor’s video that featured the electronic dance music (EDM) track “Make Me Feel” (2025) by oskar med k. In repetition, lyrics of the song state, “Don’t nobody else make me feel like.” According to one source:

The song is built around a vocal sample, with its lyric cutting off after the phrase “make me feel like…”, letting place to synth melodies in where the missing word would normally land. Oskar med k interpretates [sic] this sudden gap as a way for the melody to express what the vocal leaves unsaid.

Billboard found that this creative choice allowed the song to gain international attention. Alongside, the production in itself has been described as “sadness that makes you sweat on the dancefloor”, featuring house rhythms, soulful vocals, lush synths and melancholic soundscapes.

For context, given this description, the American Psychological Association defines sadness as “an emotional state of unhappiness, ranging in intensity from mild to extreme and usually aroused by the loss of something that is highly valued (e.g., by the rupture of a relationship).”

Often, I find that people miscomprehend how feelings function. Therefore, it may be of some use to examine how sadness is typically (though not always) created within the mind.

Regarding my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I invite people to consider scripts which are rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) – especially regarding events which correlate with strong feelings.

On the topic of feelings, as “Make Me Feel” addresses this matter, I often find it valuable to clarify what this element represents in regard to the construct of beliefs. This is because people generally misuse this term, as I maintain that the words we use matter.

A “feeling” relates to either: 1. emotion (i.e., joy, fear, anger, sorrow, disgust, surprise, etc.) or 2. sensation (e.g., tightened or stiffened jaw). If the word “feel” (or any derivative thereof) can be replaced with “hunch,” “thought,” or “belief” (or any derivative thereof), it’s not a feeling.

For example, it’s improper to say something like “It kinda feels like a dream,” because what one typically intends on communicating is “It seems [gives the impression of being] as though this is a dream.” Noteworthy, there’s a foundation for quibbling with this sort of misuse.

In this blogpost, I’ll provide a psychoeducational lesson to justify my equivocation. Before doing so, I think it’s worth noting that the vocalist on “Make Me Feel” doesn’t identify any feelings. Still, there appears to be miscomprehension about what produces emotions and sensations.

Now, when practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I use personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”). For your understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.

Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.

Also, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct. Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.

When providing psychoeducational lessons on REBT, a psychotherapeutic modality which arguably requires that one preferably should take personal ownership in order to reduce self-distress or self-disturbance, I lean heavily on both responsibility and accountability.

This is because I maintain that people have personal agency (a person’s ability to control one’s own reactions to activating events which are beyond one’s own dominion, especially when one’s response is limited by someone or something else). This is a matter of self-empowerment.

On “Make Me Feel”, the vocalist properly uses the term “feel,” indicating an emotion, though improperly identifies the origin of this emotion (i.e., “don’t nobody else make me feel”). Now, let’s examine what mechanism is at hand in this regard, using personal ownership to guide us.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):

REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).

Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.

Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.

Because one source describes “Make Me Feel” as “sadness that makes you sweat on the dancefloor,” I’ll provide a hypothetical example in this regard. Although the vocalist on “Make Me Feel” doesn’t suggest sorrow, let’s imagine that sadness is nonetheless experienced.

For instance, the vocalist’s intimate partner terminates a relationship (Action), one then Believes, “This relationship is nothing [G], as I can’t bear it being over [L], because it’s awful [A], and shouldn’t be finished just yet [D],” as the vocalist then becomes sad (Consequence).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Suppose that instead of using an inflexible narrative that causes sadness in the form of disturbance, the vocalist on “Make Me Feel” uses an Effective new belief by telling oneself, “While I prefer that this relationship should continue, there were no guarantees for its success.”

This flexible script would likely cause disappointment in the form of distress (Consequence). Although disappointment and sadness are both negative emotions, the vocalist may choose healthy disappointment rather than unhealthy sadness (e.g., symptoms bordering on depression).

The takeaway with this lesson on the ABC model is to illustrate what often (though not always) creates emotions and sensations (i.e., feelings). In the case of the EDM track, no one else can make another person feel anything akin to sadness. Rather, one’s own Beliefs do that.

Provided that you comprehend the value of taking personal ownership for how you feel, then it’s genuinely the case that “don’t nobody else make me feel like” anything, because I do that to myself, and so do you and others. Thus, if you’re sad, then you may want to check your beliefs.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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