Dumb Knowledge: Why Would You Choose to Simp?

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher Seneca who stated, “Hecato says, ‘I can teach you a love potion made without any drugs, herbs, or special spell—if you would be loved, love’” (page 311). For clarity, the American Psychological Association (APA) thusly defines love:

[A] complex emotion involving strong feelings of affection and tenderness for the love object, pleasurable sensations in their presence, devotion to their well-being, and sensitivity to their reactions to oneself.

Although love takes many forms, including concern for one’s fellow humans (brotherly love), parental love, erotic love, self-love, and identification with the totality of being (love of God), the triangular theory of love proposes three essential components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

Social psychological research in this area has focused largely on passionate love, in which sexual desire and excitement predominate, and companionate love, in which passion is relatively weak and commitment is strong.

“If you would be loved, love,” Seneca proposes. That seems like a pleasant prescription for life, doesn’t it? Of this matter, I’m reminded of the album Uprising (1980) by the legendary reggae band Bob Marley and the Wailers. Specifically, I recall the track “Could You Be Loved”.

The lyrics state, “Could you be love, and be loved? Could you be love, woah, yeah, and be loved? The road of life is rocky, and you may stumble, too. So while you point your fingers, someone else is judging you.” About an interpreted meaning of this song, one source opines:

Bob Marley did not say “Could you be loved and be loved” but “Could you be love and be loved?”. There is a big difference. What it means is that ‘You Are Love and that You are Loved for there is nothing but Love’.

It is this what it means with I and I referring to the oneness of Jah (God) and every Human. The Etymology of the word Human means Godman or Jahman or Hanuman et al. There’s nothing complex about. All is One. One Love! Tower of Babel my behind. Love is Law.

Perhaps Seneca’s reference to love is open to interpretation, as are lyrics of “Could You Be Loved”. Subjectively, personal views on this topic have shifted over the years. In particular, I no longer maintain the perspective on intimate partner love that I once held.

Who could blame me? I didn’t know what I didn’t know when doing the same thing over and over again for love. Therefore, I was dumb (lacking intelligence) regarding intimate partner relationships. However, with the passage of time, I’ve gained knowledge about romantic love.

Per the APA, knowledge is defined as “the state of being familiar with something or aware of its existence, usually resulting from experience or study,” and “the range of one’s understanding or information. In some contexts the words knowledge and memory are used synonymously.”

As my late stepmom told me, regarding the women to whom I devoted my love, “Ooh, baby, they can see you comin’ from a mile away!” After all, dumb knowledge had me behaving like a simp (someone who does way too much for a person they like).

Concerning this topic, I think of the album Set in Stone (2019) by lyricist Termanology and producer Dame Grease. Unambiguously, I’m reminded of the song “Haunting Dreams”.

On the track, Termanology states, “Back to my subconscious, I don’t fall in love, honest. You put your heart over your brain, then that’s dumb knowledge! When you[’re] mentally insane, you do the same things and expect different results, but it’s the same dreams.”

An oft-misunderstood concept of inanity is routinely bandied about, distortedly inferring that one who does the same thing over and over again while expecting a different outcome demonstrates nonadaptive behavior which is crazy. However, this simply isn’t the case.

Rather, such unproductive acts merely represent consequences of thoughts or beliefs which are irrational (not in accordance with both logic and reason). Also, “irrational” isn’t synonymous with “insane.” The latter is a legal term, as the former is used by most fallible human beings.

Ultimately, I asked myself, “Why do you choose to simp?” That question began my exploration into irrational behavior which was influenced by dumb knowledge. Now, I can be love, and be loved, though intimate partner love is strictly out of the question. Ergo, I don’t simp anymore.

Yet, what worked for me may not be the prescription for you. “Could you be love, and be loved” with romantic love? Or are you doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different outcome (i.e., irrational behavior)? Now, I encourage you not to use dumb knowledge.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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