Excuses, Explanations, and Justifications

[DISCLAIMER]

When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I use personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”). For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.

Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.

Also, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct. Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.

When providing psychoeducational lessons on REBT, a psychotherapeutic modality which arguably requires that one preferably should take personal ownership in order to reduce self-distress or self-disturbance, I lean heavily on both responsibility and accountability.

This is because I maintain that people have personal agency (a person’s ability to control one’s own reactions to activating events which are beyond one’s own dominion, especially when one’s response is limited by someone or something else). This is a matter of self-empowerment.

When teaching others about personal ownership, I hear many excuses (attempts to remove blame from). As an example, person X may suggest that a negotiated homework exercise wasn’t completed, because the individual simply forgot to tend to the matter.

I also hear explanations (the act or process of explaining—to make plain or understandable; to give the reason for or cause of) which are rational (in accordance with both logic and reason). For instance, person Y may say that one’s tardiness is due to teletherapy connectivity issues.

As well, I encounter justifications (the act or an instance of justifying—proving or showing to be just, right, or reasonable). For example, person Z may justify use of one REBT technique over another, such as using unconditional acceptance rather than the ABC model.

For clarity, an excuse is an attempt to avoid blame for wrongdoing, an explanation clarifies context without evading personal ownership, and a justification argues that the action was right or necessary. Presuming you comprehend these distinctions, I now turn to a classic hip hop song.

I have a particular fondness for the golden age of hip hop (roughly the mid-1980s to mid-1990s). I also enjoy many of the rap acts which originated during that era and which subsequently released music after the golden age.

As an example, duo Capone-N-Noreaga (lyricists Capone and N.O.R.E., also Noreaga) released their much anticipated second studio album The Reunion (2000) following the golden age. The anthology contained the track “Invincible” which was produced by the talented DJ Premier.

On his opening verse, Noreaga addressed his second solo studio album Melvin Flynt – Da Hustler (1999) which was released a year prior. Apparently dissatisfied with his performance or the album’s reception, Noreaga stated on his first verse of “Invincible”:

Yo, yo, Melvin Flynt drop, my whole colossal stop

I can’t believe I fucked up and made a half-ass album

My excuse is – my pops just died

And I ain’t wanna make music, my pops just died

Whereas I would subjectively reason that the death of a loved one relates more to an explanation for poor occupational performance than an excuse, some may even suggest it’s a reasonable justification. In any event, it’s also worth noting that in I Can’t Believe I stated:

Similar to one of four self-disturbing beliefs recognized by REBT, pertaining to low frustration tolerance – whereby an individual convinces oneself that something is intolerable (e.g., I can’t stand it), an “I can’t believe” narrative is a method of convincing oneself of an inability.

When Noreaga stated “I can’t believe I fucked up and made a half-ass album” he inferred that he couldn’t tolerate the fact that he didn’t perform according to his expectations. This rigid belief may be why the lyricist ostensibly shirked blame by evoking the death of his father.

Again, I regard the death of a loved one as a logical and reasonable (i.e., rational) explanation, or even a proper justification, for underperformance. Nonetheless, if Noreaga’s perceived belief is one that caused discomfort (e.g., guilt), then I can comprehend why he offered an excuse.

If it’s any consolation to the lyricist, I often go back in time within my mind when listening to golden age acts while experiencing satisfaction. Therefore, I’m grateful for Capone-N-Noreaga, to include so-called “half-ass album[s].” And that’s my justification for writing this post!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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