Gotta Change the World

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

When providing lessons on REBT, I invite people to unconditionally accept that we live in an imperfect world. Some people require more instruction than others, as a number of individuals reject the notion of personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”).

I’ve taught REBT to clients who unhelpfully demand that the imperfection of life absolutely must be remedied, as these people neglect personal ownership for their self-disturbed outcomes. For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible.

Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.

Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions. Here, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct.

Take for instance the 2012 album Divine Power Culture by Blak Madeen, featuring the track “Let It Be” with lyricist Blu. Lyrics include “the world won’t get no better, we gotta change it, you and me.” Here, “gotta” serves as a demandingness derivative of should, must, or ought.

If one flexibly maintains that the world won’t get any better unless we recommendatorily should change it, then healthy distress in the form of disappointment is likely to occur when the imperfectible ultimately is unable to be perfected. In fact, here, disappointment is expected.

Alternatively, if one inflexibly demands that the world won’t get any better unless we absolutely must change it, then unhealthy disturbance in the form of enragement is likely to occur when the imperfectible ultimately is unable to be perfected. In fact, here, one can expect self-disturbance.

The manner in which demandingness is used determines the outcome that one experiences. Thus, you are personally responsible for your reaction to matters which you deem disagreeable (i.e., you’re obligated to change the world within—not outside of—yourself).

If you fail to meet this obligation, then you—and only you—are personally accountable for your reaction to your beliefs about the matters which you deem disagreeable (i.e., you’ll suffer the consequences of having failed to meet your own obligation).

Therefore, taking personal ownership for your reaction to an individual perception (i.e., worldview) of life as a whole is how I approach REBT. Ergo, you don’t absolutely gotta change the literal world. Instead, you recommendatorily gotta change your worldview.

When contemplating this helpful view, I’m reminded of the 2014 album Behind the Mask by Illus and ICBM. It contains the track “Change the World”, featuring Phashara and Roxxxteady. The lyrics wisely state that “changing the world is metaphorical for changing minds.”

This is precisely the point I make regarding personal ownership. If you “gotta change the world,” then the metaphorical versus the literal is a matter of flexible versus inflexible demandingness that will accompany either health distress or unhealthy disturbance if one’s goals are unmet.

For instance, I hope to have changed your worldview with an argument for flexible use of a demand with this post. If I’ve failed to persuade your view, then I may be healthily disappointed. I can then target that disappointment by changing my perspective about my approach to REBT.

“It isn’t my personal responsibility to change the world,” I may reason. “Therefore,” I could continue, “take personal accountability for the disappointment you experience. If you don’t like it, then take personal ownership of your reaction by changing your internal worldview!” Voila!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), fair use

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