The Chemicals Between Us

[DISCLAIMER]

In 1999, English alternative rock band Bush released their third studio album The Science of Things. The anthology contained a track called “The Chemicals Between Us” about which one source reports lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist Gavin Rossdale as having stated:

Gavin Rossdale described the song as being “all about the differences and distances between people.” He also said the song was about misunderstanding and not being able to communicate. He said, “I was thinking the chemicals between us would be when things aren’t going so good and you’re in that lonely bed with that person and you’re not communicating.”

Understandably, many people I knew when the album was released interpreted the lyrics as relating to illicit substances (psychoactive drugs to induce an altered state of consciousness, either for pleasure or for some other casual purpose or pastime). That interpretation was obvious.

After all, the name of the album evoked science (knowledge or a system of knowledge covering general truths or the operation of general laws especially as obtained and tested through scientific method). As an example, a person ingests psychoactive drugs (p), then one becomes high (q).

This proposition is rational (in accordance with both logic and reason). Here, “logic” is the interrelation or sequence of facts or events when seen as inevitable or predictable, and “reason” is a statement offered in explanation or justification.

For instance, a modus ponens syllogism uses the following logical form: If p, then q; p; therefore, q: If a person ingests psychoactive drugs (p), then one becomes high (q). A person ingests psychoactive drugs (p). Therefore, one becomes high (q).

Even if the Bush song doesn’t regard drugs, I find value in comprehending different perceptions of the track. Noteworthy, when providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people to think critically about their irrational beliefs.

For example, the chemicals between us—the fallible human beings we so naturally are—relate to a reported “94 naturally occurring chemical elements” that comprise our bodies, of which are four “feel-good hormones”: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins (DOSE).

In common parlance, a “dose” is a portion of a substance added during a process. When receiving doses of DOSE, the chemicals between us get us high off our own supply of naturally occurring hormones. To elucidate this point, I stated in Luv(sic):

I suppose one could argue from a materialist perspective, declaring that the chemical composition of attraction—or what many refer to as being “in love”—is comprised by fluctuation of dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and phenylethylamine.

Essentially, we get ourselves high when romantically attracted to others. However, this process isn’t solely a biological matter. The consequence of our beliefs may have a lot to do with it.

For clarity, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as self-disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to upset themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

Regarding the A-C connection, if a person ingests psychoactive drugs (Action), then one becomes high (Consequence). Yet, DOSE chemicals are often activated by one’s Beliefs, not merely the Action of experiencing a romantic relationship, especially concerning lovesickness.

Thus, your DOSE hormones are active when your intimate partner leaves you (Action). You then Believe, “I’m worthless without love [G], and I can’t handle this breakup [L]! In fact, it’s terrible to be alone [A], because I must be loved in order for life to have meaning [D]!”

Unpleasantly, you experience a cycle of healthy and unhealthy negative emotions (Consequences). First, you’re reasonably sad (healthy). You later ruminate with self-disturbing beliefs, as you then become depressed (unhealthy). According to one REBT source (page 71):

REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).

Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [i.e., Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.

From an A-C perspective, the chemicals between us fallible human beings have an impact on how we feel (i.e., emotions and sensations). Nevertheless, how intensely we experience our consequences ultimately depends on the B-C connections we use. About this, I stated in Alone:

In a literal sense, people can make themselves high – and altogether nonsensical – while experiencing [infatuation]. When intoxicated on one’s own chemicals, it isn’t likely that rational thinking based on logical and reason will automatically occur.

I suppose there’s an evolutionary explanation to why people become irrational for relatively short periods of time – typically up to six months in duration. Poor decision-making ability could result in the continuation of life when heterosexual couples engage in ill-planned coitus.

Simply stated, one’s mind-body interplay (i.e., A-C and B-C connections) make a person high enough to override rational thinking so that sexual intercourse may produce offspring. This is akin to being intoxicated and making poor short-term decisions with long-term consequences.

As one may guess, my perspective on love and romance, the process of being “in love,” and the materialist nature of the chemicals between us doesn’t bode well with many people. Regarding the aftermath of having posted Luv(sic), I thusly reflected in Can You Feel It?:

After posting that blog entry on October 30, 2022, I directly shared it with a select number of people. Unsurprisingly to me, it wasn’t well-received. Some individuals prefer to view romantic love in a way that is irrational (not in accordance with both logic and reason).

Yet, if you find yourself surrounded by aquatic creatures singing “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid (1989), then you’re either experiencing hallucination or delusion, or you’re high off your own supply of biological chemicals—or perhaps all three options at once!

It’s a matter of irrationality to base one’s judgment off an experience in which one can’t decipher fact from fiction.

Over a decade ago, I weaned myself from the addictive nature of an A-C connection regarding intimate partner relationship chemical influence. Doing so also eliminated B-C connections concerning the folly of romantic relationships. Of this, I also stated in Can You Feel It?:

Despite a number of individuals not appreciating what I expressed in Luv(sic), I was pleased to discover that in Pluribus (stylized as PLUR1BUS), a post-apocalyptic science fiction television series (2025), the following dialogue occurred for the world to rationally consider:

Carol: I don’t think I’m good at just…just feeling good. What does that to you?

Zosia: Does what?

Carol: Like, makes you happy? Like, in our bodies, what chemicals?

Zosia: There’s a mix. Serotonin, dopamine, vasopressin, oxytocin, of course. Fun fact! A study of zebrafish seems to imply that oxytocin is responsible for the development of empathy in vertebrate species about 200 million years ago.

Carol: I must have every happy chemical flowing in my bloodstream. I keep thinking it’s gonna go away, but then it doesn’t. And I don’t want it to.

I’ll stop the scene there, as not to provide any spoilers. What I will say that that Carol sobers up rather quickly when using logic and reason concerning Zosia’s response thereafter.

I’m thrilled to discover that rational representations of the chemicals between us are increasingly depicted in film and television series! Aside from PLUR1BUS, I also observed a similar representation in The Accountant 2 (2025), as the following dialogue occurred:

Female dating prospect: Do you believe in love at first sight—that there’s someone we’re meant to be with…a soulmate?

Christian Wolff: Well, no. That’s an absurd, childish notion. Of…of course that’s not real. Well, the question of whether or not there’s such a thing as love, or it’s simply an electrical neurochemical process that takes place in the brain, is up for debate.

Female dating prospect: Whew! Have a good day.

Wolff was spot-on in his assessment! However, in the film, it appeared as though his dating prospects desired Wolff to share in their deluded notions of a fairytale love of otherworldly dimensions. There’s no credible evidence that such an experience actually exists.

Rather, the chemicals between us create this fantasy. Moreover, people disturb themselves with the B-C connection when other individuals don’t share in this irrational perspective. In this vein, I was delighted to watch a scene in Mercy (2026), as the following dialogue occurred:

Chris Raven: I love my wife.

Artificial intelligence (AI) judge: Well, what human beings experience as love is merely a neurobiological phenomenon characterized by the release of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. Anger is also a neurobiological phenomenon, and it can readily overwhelm affection.

Chris Raven: Sorry, do you have a point?

AI judge: Well, the fact that you may have loved Nicole does not prohibit the possibility that you lost your temper and murdered her, whether you remember doing so or not.

As mentioned herein, one’s mind-body interplay (i.e., A-C and B-C connections) influences reactions. Still, my one point of contention with the AI judge is that self-disturbed consequences which result in murder aren’t merely a matter of a “neurobiological phenomenon.”

The unhealthy negative reaction (i.e., disturbance) resulting in a murderous outcome is prominently caused by the B-C connection. As expressed by Rossdale in “The Chemicals Between Us”, in his third verse:

I want you to remember

Everything you said

Every driven word

Like a hammer

Fell to my head

The words one says, actions one displays, and other elements which comprise an undesirable activating event aren’t what lead to unpleasant outcomes. Sometimes, the chemicals between us contribute to reactions. Oftentimes, our beliefs about these events are what cause responses.

Thus, concerning “everything you said, every driven word” combined with irrational beliefs about unwanted sentiment, the consequence is “like a hammer fell to my head,” because the B-C connection when combined with the chemicals between us can have a powerful effect, no doubt.

Favorably, we can dispute GLAD scripts. In fact, when reading my perspective on the irrationality of an “in love” process and how people fuck themselves in the head—sometimes without even being able to fuck the people they desire—you may self-disturb with your beliefs.

If this is the case, then I invite you to practice the ABC model. Disrupt, de-mystify, disentangle, dismantle, destroy, de-falsify, and dispute your GLAD beliefs! Sure, the chemical between us matter. Nonetheless, they aren’t entirely the cause of your disagreeable consequences.

I invite you to take personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”) for how you feel and what you do. Then again, you can fuck yourself in the mind. DOSE after DOSE, mixed with unhelpful GLAD beliefs, you’re in for the highs and lows of a frenzied fashion!

Are you ready for that trip? The chemicals between us will help facilitate your journey! As for me, personal ownership for how I respond—irrespective of DOSE influence—is the preferred Stoic approach to rational living. Besides, it’s “an absurd, childish notion” to favor anything else.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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