They Miss the Cheesy Times
When recently speaking with a client who frequently attends electronic dance music (EDM) concerts, raves, and music festivals (collectively “shows”), as I once did, I thought of a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) that I’ll now share.
For context, when I attended EDM shows in the ‘90s and ‘00s, the term “cheese” was used for music that people considered cheesy (something regarded as cheap, of low-quality, cliché, overly sentimental, or in poor taste). If memory serves, the EDM term hails from the United Kingdom.
As an example, on Dutch Eurodance music group Vengaboys’ debut project The Party Album (1999) was the song “Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!” It was the sort of upbeat, feel-good song that contributors of DJ Mag and other publications used to criticize for being too cheesy.
Using the no true Scotsman fallacy, described by once source as “a fallacy in which one modifies a prior claim in response to a counterexample by asserting the counterexample is excluded by definition,” pretentious EDM enthusiasts would declare that no true EDM fan would like cheese.
However, I was very much a fan of EDM, and I enjoyed The Party Album quite a bit! When discussing this matter with my client, I noted that many people from the ‘90s and ‘00s EDM show era may now be seen online, lamenting the current EDM scene.
Somehow, no true EDM fan would’ve liked cheese, though our collective EDM show era was also superior to the modern scene. It’s almost as though they miss the cheesy times about which they complained when living during our scene’s heyday! Given this, a lesson on REBT arises.
REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.
Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
From an A-C view, “Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!” played in a nightclub (Action), and person X could hear the Vengaboys’ song (Consequence). Nevertheless, if person X considered the tune to be cheesy, it’s this individual’s B-C connection, not an A-C occurrence, that caused disgust.
Person X heard “Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!” being played in a nightclub (Action), Believed, “This song is worthless [G], and I can’t abide it [L], because no true EDM fan would like awful cheese [A], so it’s mustn’t be played [D], and then person X endured disgust (Consequence).
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Additionally, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).
With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).
The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.
Regarding person X’s circle of control and USA, this individual could’ve concluded that one has control over how to respond to so-called cheese. As well, concerning this person’s circle of influence and UOA, person X could’ve admitted that others were free to like cheesy music.
Pertaining to person X’s circle of concern and ULA, this aged EDM fan could’ve agreed that cheesiness of the Vengaboys occurred during a time that now cannot be relived. Also, related to one’s area of no concern, person X could do away with notions of which era is or was the best.
While I’ve admittedly created a composite of older EDM fans who I’ve witnessed lamenting the past, rather than identifying individuals directly, the point of this blogpost regards the what and not the who concerning the topic at hand. Ultimately, the proverbial they miss the cheesy times.
All the same, they don’t have to disparage entire swaths of music, EDM show attendees, and so on. As a fallible human being, I’m not immune to sharing online criticism about EDM show attendees in modernity; yet, I at least frame my critiques through the axiomatic lens of REBT.
Now, I invite you to use the ABC model and UA when offering your opinions on matters which you find disagreeable. Specifically, are you able to express displeasure without disgusting yourself by use of unhelpful beliefs? Besides, you may one day miss the cheesy times, too.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use
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