I Need to Find Some Kind of Peace of Mind
When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.
For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.
It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.
An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.
Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.
While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.
Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.
For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.
First, some context may be useful. The phrase peace of mind regards one’s beliefs which lead to a state of tranquility or quiet. More specifically, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), the mind is thusly defined:
1. broadly, all intellectual and psychological phenomena of an organism, encompassing motivational, affective, behavioral, perceptual, and cognitive systems; that is, the organized totality of an organism’s mental and psychic processes and the structural and functional cognitive components on which they depend.
The term, however, is also used more narrowly to denote only cognitive activities and functions, such as perceiving, attending, thinking, problem solving, language, learning, and memory.
The nature of the relationship between the mind and the body, including the brain and its mechanisms or activities, has been, and continues to be, the subject of much debate. See mind–body problem; philosophy of mind.
2. the substantive content of such mental and psychic processes.
3. consciousness or awareness, particularly as specific to an individual.
4. a set of emergent properties automatically derived from a brain that has achieved sufficient biological sophistication. In this sense, the mind is considered more the province of humans and of human consciousness than of organisms in general.
5. human consciousness regarded as an immaterial entity distinct from the brain. See Cartesian dualism; ghost in the machine.
6. the brain itself and its activities. In this view, the mind essentially is both the anatomical organ and what it does.
7. intention or volition.
8. opinion or point of view.
9. the characteristic mode of thinking of a group, such as the criminal mind or the military mind.
With this in mind (see what I did there?), I now turn to the English indie pop group London Grammar. On their third studio album, Californian Soil (2021), was the track “Lose Your Head”. In this context, one’s “head” presumably regards the mind.
In the same year of the album release, an electronic dance music (EDM) remix of the song was dropped by English DJ and production duo CamelPhat, called “Lose Your Head (CamelPhat Remix)” (2021). The relevant sampled lyrics state, “I need to find some kind of peace of mind.”
In this context, the phrase “need to” serves as a flexible demandingness derivative. It’s as though the vocalist expresses that “I preferably should find some kind of peace of mind.” If tranquility of this flexible preference isn’t achieved, then the vocalist may be healthily distressed.
The result of this flexible belief may reflect something like disappointment. However, if one inflexibly demands “some kind of peace of mind” (i.e., “I absolutely must find some kind of peace of mind”), then the consequence of this unhelpful belief may reflect something like rage.
This is a form of unhealthy disturbance. Thus, given this ABC model example, I invite you to consider your use of flexible versus inflexible demandingness derivatives. After all, the results you achieve when using beliefs are caused by flexibility or inflexibility of your mind.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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