Intolerance: There's No Way That I Can Take This

[DISCLAIMER]

I listened to a recent electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Aneya Rose during which she spun the track “Right Now” (2022) by James Hurr. In part, the lyrics state, “Tell me, baby, ‘cause I want to break it down. There’s no way that I can take this no more.”

With a double negative, the singer uses an unaccommodating belief that indicates intolerance—the quality or state of being intolerant—unable or unwilling to endure. Now, I’ll provide a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) about this topic.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to upset themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When envisioning these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD. Per one source (page 65):

Discomfort anxiety—or low frustration tolerance (LFT) as we call it in [REBT]—often accompanies other irrational beliefs that a couple [or individual] may maintain, intensifying a disturbance problem; or, if one or both people think in catastrophic terms about the discomfort of less-than-perfect satisfaction, LFT can transform a dissatisfaction [or distress] problem into a disturbance problem.

Worth noting, the two forms of should, must, and ought demands with which people most often distress or disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional beliefs. Generally speaking, these scripts serve as inflexible commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of self-upset.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still functioning as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

In the song “Right Now”, the vocalist states, “Tell me, baby, ‘cause I want to break it down. There’s no way that I can take this no more.” The second sentence of the cited lyrics indicates an LFT narrative of intolerance, as the singer voices the perceived inability to tolerate an event.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Additionally, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

Whereas the ABC model is a scientific approach to wellness, UA serves as a philosophical method for un-disturbing yourself. I view the former as an abortive approach to disturbance and the latter as a preventative method. Of course, not all REBT practitioners use the same style as I.

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

If I were seeing the vocalist of “Right Now” in a professional capacity, I’d invite her to consider that rather than using an LFT script she could instead use a high frustration tolerance (HFT) belief. Specifically, she could admit that that she can take (i.e., tolerate) undesirable events.

Comprehensibly, she may not like or love these circumstances. Nevertheless, she’s capable of tolerating undesirable situations. Now, I invite you to use HFT rather than LFT narratives. As well, if you’d like to know more about REBT, then I’m here to try to help.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, Designed by Freepik, fair use

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