Will You Be Brave and Dignified, or Deny Dignity While Behaving Like a Menace?

[DISCLAIMER]

*Friday (1995) spoilers contained herein.

Photo credit, property of New Line Productions, Cube Vision, and New Line Cinema, fair use

When the classic hip hop buddy stoner comedy film Friday (1995) was released months before I graduated high school, I was ignorant (lacking of knowledge, education, or awareness) about the distinction between bravery and dignity, and what it meant to be dignified.

Herein, I’ll address each of these concepts, as they relate to the psychotherapeutic modality that I practice. Before doing so, it may be worth familiarizing those lowly readers who remain ignorant about the film Friday. Summarizing its plot, one source succinctly states:

A lot can happen between Thursday and Saturday – Before the sun sets, Craig must get his friend out of trouble, find a new job so his parents don’t evict him, escape his girlfriend long enough to capture a new woman’s heart and survive a climatic confrontation with the neighborhood menace.

For context, a “menace” is one that represents a threat—an expression of intention to inflict evil, injury, or damage. In Friday, Craig physically challenges the neighborhood menace that goes by the name of Deebo. Due to his bullying ways, most people in the neighborhood fear Deebo.

As I learned in my youth, schoolyard and other menaces often don’t need to actually inflict evil, injury, or damage to others, because bullies tend to rely upon their reputation (overall quality or character as seen or judged by people in general). Behave as a menace, and people will fear you.

Throughout my youth, because I was bullied by children and adults alike, I experienced great satisfaction in relation to my beliefs about the final confrontation between Craig and Deebo. Specifically, when Craig battered the menace, Deebo famously “got knocked the fuck out!”

A phrase that I’ve heard throughout life is, “The only rule in a right is to win.” Thus, there’s no such thing as “fighting dirty,” as some people would otherwise suggest. In Friday, Craig made proper use of a wooden board, a cored brick, and a garbage can with which he struck Deebo.

In this regard, it wasn’t until joining the United States (U.S.) Marine Corps in 1996 that I learned of the term force multiplier (a factor or a combination of factors that gives personnel or weapons, or other hardware, the ability to accomplish greater feats than without it).

Craig’s use of a board, brick, and garbage can was an example of force multiplication so that a strategically inferior opponent could conquer a perceivably dominant adversary. Over three decades since having first watched Friday, I now contemplate other concepts from the movie.

For instance, when defending the woman to whom he was attracted (Debbie), Craig showed bravery (the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty). One who exhibits bravery is said to be brave (to face or endure with courage).

Also, the American Psychological Association’s dictionary redirects a search for bravery to courage (the ability to meet a difficult challenge despite the physical, psychological, or moral risks involved in doing so). In my youth and in the Marines, I observed bravery and courage.

For example, on many occasions when I was a child, I witnessed my older sister bravely stepping in to intercept menacing acts of child abuse directed at me by my mom. In turn, I learned to challenge bullying behavior by tag-teaming in and out for my sister when she was being abused.

Likewise, when serving in the Corps as military police (MP), I watched a number of my fellow MPs bravely place themselves in harm’s way (a dangerous place or situation) for one another. In kind, I learned to confront menacing behavior to the detriment to my own personal safety.

Thus, my older sister and fellow MPs behaved as Craig did when bravery was called for to confront Deebo. In this way, these individuals behaved in a manner that was dignified (showing or expressing dignity). For context, one source clarifies:

Dignity is the right of a person to be valued and respected for their own sake, and to be treated ethically. In this context, it is of significance in morality, ethics, law and politics as an extension of the Enlightenment-era concepts of inherent, inalienable rights. The term may also be used to describe personal conduct, as in “behaving with dignity”.

For clarity, one source succinctly states, “Dignity is internal, integral to the person. To be dignified is external, manifested through one’s behavior or conveyed by others.” In Friday, Craig defended Debbie’s dignity in a dignified manner by showing bravery when fighting Deebo.

All these years later, I still appreciate Friday for its subjectively humorous content, as well as its moral and ethical concepts which I’ve outlined herein. Now, I consider these conceptual elements when reading a book that alights with my preferred psychotherapeutic modality.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher Seneca, who stated, “As Cicero says, we hate gladiators if they are quick to save their lives by any means; we favor them if they show contempt for their lives” (page 373). Of this, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 373):

Lyndon Johnson’s college classmates used to tell an embarrassing story about him. Johnson apparently had a big mouth and felt he had to constantly dominate and intimidate others. Yet his biographer, Robert Caro, makes it clear that when someone stood up to young Lyndon, he proved himself to be a complete coward [one who shows disgraceful fear or timidity].

In one instance, during an argument over a poker game, instead of fighting, Johnson threw himself on a bed and “began kicking his feet in the air with a frantic, windmilling motion . . . like a girl.” He shouted, “If you hit me, I’ll kick you! If you hit me, I’ll kick you!”

If this account of the former U.S. President Johnson is accurate, the description reminds me of the current U.S. President Donald Trump. History hasn’t reflected well of Johnson’s legacy, as I suspect the same will be true for Trump. In any event, the authors add (page 373):

Later in his life, Johnson also worked extremely hard to avoid serving in World War II [WWII] and lived it up in California while other soldiers fought and died abroad. He later claimed to be a war hero. It was one of his most shameful lies.

Not unlike Johnson, Trump now lives it up in Washington D.C. while the globe is arguably already entangled in World War III [WWIII]. Like WWII, which is historically presented with decisive moments which led to global conflict, WWIII debatably began slightly before 2014.

Particularly, as I’ve written about, the encroachment of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) on the border of Russia is what plausibly led to the current Russo-Ukrainian war. Also, as I’ve written about, both NATO and the European Union continue to antagonize Russia.

Likewise, the October 7 attacks of 2023 have served as a catalyst for the Prime Minister of Israel Benjamin Netanyahu to conduct genocide, ethnic cleansing, war crimes, and terrorism regarding his self-reported 40-years-in-the-making plans for escalating conflict in the Middle East.

Since Russia invaded Ukraine in 2022, and following Israel’s retaliatory strikes in 2023—which have long since served as offensive, rather than defensive, military action—the U.S. has supported Ukraine and Israel in the form of funding, intelligence, military, and other provisions.

Recently, one source reported that the Ukraine and Iran wars have begun to merge into one larger conflict in the Caspian Sea. If this isn’t an escalation of an undeclared WWIII, then I wonder what is. Now, consider that authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 373):

We do not need to disregard our physical safety or engage in wanton acts of violence to be brave. But nobody respects a coward. Nobody likes a shirker of duty. Nobody admires a person who puts too high a price on their own comfort and needs.

Granted, Trump likely inherited the current WWIII predicament from former U.S. President Joe Biden. Nevertheless, Trump has had ample opportunity to be brave and dignified, rather than denying dignity to nations across the globe, as he’s behaved like a menace, much like Deebo.

Moreover, it appears as though the rest of the world has watched as Deebo has been “knocked the fuck out!” The U.S. military appears to be no match for the war of choice and aggression against Iran which Trump and Netanyahu instigated. “If you hit me, I’ll kick you,” we cry!

Still, I’m highly skeptical of the notion that those who voted for Trump’s second term in office did so with foreknowledge of his current actions. While some people may’ve desired for a bully to terrorize the globe, I doubt that most Trump voters did. Then again, that’s my opinion.

Maybe most people like menacing acts. Still, authors of The Daily Stoic state, “That’s the irony of cowardice. It’s aimed at self-protection, but it creates shameful secrets. Self-preservation is hardly worth it because of everything it costs in return. Be brave. Be dignified” (page 373).

Will you be brave and dignified, or deny dignity while behaving like a menace? Conceptually, will you act like a cowardly president that never served a day in the military, though Trump appears to welcome the deaths of military members, as he behaves a lot like Deebo in Friday?

Or will you recognize that people are merely fallible human beings, and that simply because they exist, they retain dignity? Given this framing of the matter, humans are capable of committing bad, unpleasant, secularly evil, and otherwise detestable actions.

Nonetheless, what we do isn’t who we are. Fallible human beings aren’t our behavior. Thus, Deebo, Johnson, Trump, Netanyahu, Biden, and everyone else listed herein—even if labeled as menaces, bullies, terrorists, and so forth—are, at their core, merely flawed individuals.

What type of fallible human being will you be—the sort that behaves cowardly and undignified, or one who acts with bravery and in a dignified manner? If you deny dignity while behaving like a menace, then I think you we have an answer to this question. Don’t get “knocked the fuck out!”

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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