Aspiration and Inspiration: Walk Away From Trouble, if You Can
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines aspiration as “an ambition, goal, or any kind of desired end that might be achieved through personal effort.” This is a matter that I address with personal and professional practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
In this regard, to assist with my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I tend to rely on inspiration, which the APA defines as “the process of being aroused or stimulated to do something, or the quality of being so aroused.”
As an example, I draw inspiration from music. For instance, on her album One, Two (1982), Jamaican dancehall deejay and singer Sister Nancy released the song “Coward of the Country” that told the story of her having become the caregiver of a “Tommy,” whose dad was in prison.
In order to keep his son from following in his footsteps, Tommy’s dad told his son, “Promise me, son, never to do the things that I’ve done. Walk away from trouble, if you can. You tell me, it don’t mean you’re weak if you turn the other cheek. Someday, you’re gonna grow to be a man.”
10-year-old Tommy’s aunt, Sister Nancy, recounts how the boy’s dad died in prison after issuing aspirational words of wisdom regarding trouble (a state or condition that is difficult, distressing, or annoying). Now, I’ll provide a psychoeducational lesson concerning Tommy.
REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.
Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
From an A-C view, Tommy’s dad offered words of inspiration (Action), as the boy plausibly perceived this advice as aspirational (Consequence). For the sake of demonstration, let’s suppose that Tommy didn’t heed the words of his dad when adopting an unhelpful B-C view.
Tommy’s dad died in prison (Action), the boy Believed, “My dad’s advice is worthless [G], as I can’t bear that he didn’t heed his own advice [L], because life is awful without him [A], so I should do however I please [D],” and Tommy then experienced anger (Consequence).
Now, REBT distinguishes between negative, but healthy anger, and negative, though unhealthy anger. One’s rational Beliefs cause the former, though one’s irrational Beliefs cause the latter. In this hypothetical demonstration of Tommy’s life, he used irrational GLAD Beliefs.
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Additionally REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).
With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).
The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.
Regarding Tommy’s circle of control and USA, the boy would do well to know that he has control over his reaction to his dad’s death and perceivably wasted advice. Concerning his circle of influence and UOA, Tommy could recognize that his dad was merely a fallible human being.
Relating to his circle of concern and ULA, the 10-year-old boy may acknowledge that life is impermanent and uncertain, as aspirational and inspirational advice may come and go. As for his area of no concern, Tommy simply hasn’t an interest in dwelling on imaginary matters.
Now, I present this lesson on REBT. As I’ve drawn inspiration from Sister Nancy’s music, I’ve adopted the aspirational message of Tommy’s dad: Walk away from trouble, if you can. And if one can’t walk away, then it may do one well to deal with the problem at hand.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use
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