Consider Your Choices

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus who stated, “Consider who you are. Above all, a human being, carrying no greater power than your own reasoned choice, which oversees all other things, and is free from any other master” (page 275).

These are meaningful words coming from a philosopher who was once enslaved. Importantly, Epictetus appealed to “reasoned choice,” as this term is worth describing. Choice is defined as the act of choosing—the act or process of selecting—chosen from a number by preference.

Stoicism often addresses this topic by appealing to the concept of reasoned choice—rational (in accordance with both logic and reason), moral and ethical (of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior) willpower (the ability to control one’s own actions, emotions, or urges).

From the Stoic perspective, the only thing truly within one’s control is how one chooses to react to undesirable events. This is a concept about which I frequently write within my blog.

When practicing REBT, I use personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”). For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.

Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.

Also, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct. Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.

When providing psychoeducational lessons on REBT, a psychotherapeutic modality which arguably requires that one preferably should take personal ownership in order to reduce self-distress or self-disturbance, I lean heavily on both responsibility and accountability.

This is because I maintain that people have personal agency (a person’s ability to control one’s own reactions to activating events which are beyond one’s own dominion, especially when one’s response is limited by someone or something else). This is a matter of self-empowerment.

Epictetus stated you carry “no greater power than your own reasoned choice.” In order to properly use this authority over your mind, I argue that personal ownership of your outcomes in life is something worth considering. Of this, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 275):

The psychologist Viktor Frankl spent three years imprisoned in various concentration camps, including Auschwitz. His family and his wife had been killed, his life’s work destroyed, his freedom taken from him. He quite literally had nothing left. Yet, as he discovered after much thought, he still retained one thing: the ability to determine what this suffering meant. Not even the Nazis could take that from him.

Photo credit, Designed by Freepik, fair use

I’ve never been enslaved, like Epictetus, or in a concentration or extermination camp, like Frankl. Therefore, I greatly appreciate wisdom from people who have overcome suffering through their own reasoned choice. Of this, authors of The Daily Stoic add (page 275):

Further, Frankl realized that he could actually find positives in his situation. Here was an opportunity to continue testing and exploring his psychological theories (and perhaps revise them). He could still be of service to others. He even took some solace in the fact that his loved ones were spared the pain and misery that he faced daily in that camp.

Although nowhere on the scale of Epictetus or Frankl’s experiences, I lived in a children’s home in junior high school and high school. It was during that time that I applied reasoned choice – as much as a teenager is capable of such practice – through personal ownership of my outcomes.

In fact, that’s when I began the informal practice of life coaching by assisting others with how to endure suffering. If I could do this as an adolescent, then I suspect you can practice similar reasoned choice and ownership as an adult! Also, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 275):

Your hidden power is your ability to use reason and make choices, however limited or small. Think about the areas of your life where you are under duress or weighed down by obligation. What are the choices available to you, day after day? You might be surprised at how many there actually are. Are you taking advantage? Are you finding the positives?

I invite you to consider your choices no matter what you face. This may be done whether you’re enslaved, in a concentration or extermination camp, residing in a children’s home, or otherwise. Take personal ownership of your outcome by applying reasoned choice!

As well, the REBT tool of unconditional acceptance (UA) may help you relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Are you ready to consider your choices in all circumstances, take personal ownership of your outcomes, and practice UA so that you may tolerate and accept life as it is? If you’d like more information on how to accomplish these things, then don’t hesitate to reach out.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

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