Other-Damning When Using the ABC Model
From time to time within my blog, I’ve referenced two of my favorite animated television series—Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Boondocks—both from which I’ve learned invaluable life lessons. The current blogpost regards the latter series.
Specifically, there’s a scene in The Boondocks featuring a character known as Colonel H. Stinkmeaner who has a displeasing temperament, as he’s killed accidentally by character Robert Freeman (also known as “Grandad”). In the scene, Stinkmeaner contends with Freeman, stating:
Bitch-ass, faggot-ass, punk-ass, pussy-ass, bitch-ass nyuggah [nigga]! You wanna do somethin’? Bitch... ass... nigga!
These offensive words of provocation were later featured on rapper David Banner’s fifth studio album, The Greatest Story Ever Told (2008), on the song “B.A.N. (The Love Song)”, produced by Banner, as “B.A.N.” stands for Stinkmeaner’s label of Freeman as a “bitch-ass nyuggah.”
One source describes B.A.N. by stating, “An individual (a black male) who possesses the overall qualities of a bitch. He is an unwanted, annoying nuisance that tends to get on the nerves of those around him. Every other word out of their mouth is bullshit and even he knows it.”
The term “bitch” regards someone whose behavior is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant. Thus, for someone to be labeled as a “bitch-ass nyuggah” regards a complete evaluation, appraisal, or rating of the individual’s worth as a human being (i.e., no value).
Also, on lyricist Freddie Gibbs’ mixtape Cold Day in Hell (2011) is the track “B.A.N.ned”, produced by Cardo, and on which Gibbs provocatively states, “Fuck you, bitch-ass nigga” in Stinkmeaner-esque fashion. This brings to mind Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.
Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):
REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).
Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.
Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world, wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.
Worth noting, the two forms of should, must, and ought demands with which people most often distress or disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional beliefs. Generally speaking, these scripts serve as inflexible commands used toward oneself, others, and life.
An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of self-upset.
Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.
While still functioning as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.
Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
From an A-C view, Stinkmeaner’s vehicle struck Grandad’s car (Action), as the two individuals then engaged in a verbal disagreement that ultimately resulted in Stinkmeaner’s accidental death (Consequence). Still, it was Stinkmeaner’s B-C connection that escalated this untimely event.
Grandad argued with Stinkmeaner (Action), Stinkmeaner plausibly Believed, “This is a bitch-ass nyuggah [G] who I can’t abide [L], because he’s horrendous [A], and I shouldn’t back down from this argument [D],” as Stinkmeaner then experienced rage and aggression (Consequence).
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Noteworthy, the unhelpful practice of damning (bringing damnation—a state of being led from condemnation or ruin), in particular, unproductively engaging in self-damning (causing or leading to someone’s condemnation or ruin, as in unfavorably criticizing others) isn’t helpful.
For example, a complete evaluation, appraisal, or rating of an individual’s worth as a human being (i.e., no value) plays an integral role in self-disturbance (i.e., GLAD narrative). Therefore, I invite you to consider not assessing a person’s worth, though to instead rate one’s behavior.
For instance, Grandad wasn’t a B.A.N., although he characteristically could’ve behaved in a bitch-ass manner. This minor perspective shift—parsing the person from one’s actions—takes the ‘G’ out of GLAD and provides you with an opportunity to use one less unhelpful Belief.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit, artist: Aaron McGruder, property of Adult Swim, fair use
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