Perfection vs. Excellence

[DISCLAIMER]

Initially raised under tenets of the Jehovah’s Witnesses faith, I learned different beliefs than were apparently taught to other Christians. For instance, Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t maintain that Jesus (i.e., son of Jehovah) is Almighty God (i.e., Jehovah). They are considered separate beings.

As well, I learned to take seriously Exodus 20:4, “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.” As an example, I was prohibited from possessing or creating depictions of Jehovah, Jesus, and so forth.

Nevertheless, I was encouraged to think critically about graven images (human-made objects which are venerated or worshipped for the deity, spirit, or demon which they embody or represent). For instance, why are images of Jesus as Jehovah so often depicted in similar ways?

Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use

Perhaps from the perspective of egotism (excessive conceit or a preoccupation with one’s own importance), Jehovah is mostly depicted as a Caucasian man. What about non-white, non-male fallible human beings? Do they not have a deity that is illustrative of their characteristics?

Given that Genesis 1:27 states, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them,” the illustration of a Jesus-Jehovah composite as uniquely European, often with a beard and ancient Greek-style clothing, is egotistical.

What use is a beard or clothing to a spirit, anyway? These were the sorts of questions I was invited to ask when learning about tenets of the Jehovah’s Witnesses faith. Eventually, in adulthood, I became religiously agnostic. Thus, I don’t know if there is or isn’t a god.

Nonetheless, as I was taught in childhood by my dad, I continue believing that human beings are imperfect (not perfect, such as flawed in form, structure, or function). Regarding this matter, I stated in a blogpost entitled Humility vs. Perfectionism: C’est la Vie:

[W]hen entering high school, I realized that the peak of my artistic abilities had come and gone. Other youths my age were far better at drawing than I. Regarding my art skills, that’s when I developed humility, which the American Psychological Association (APA) thusly defines:

[T]he quality of being humble, characterized by a low focus on the self, an accurate (not over- or underestimated) sense of one’s accomplishments and worth, and an acknowledgment of one’s limitations, imperfections, mistakes, gaps in knowledge, and so on.

From my current perspective, through the proverbial lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I recognize that my development of humility was healthy. This is because when drawing throughout childhood, I sought unhealthy perfectionism, which the APA thusly defines:

[T]he tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation. It is associated with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health problems. —perfectionist adj., n.

As a matter of forthrightness, I now understand that my attempt to perfect my artistic skills was merely a method of controlling what I could, because I couldn’t influence the chaotic environments in which I was raised concerning either the homes of my mom or dad (separately).

My dad, who taught me Jehovah’s Witnesses beliefs, used a parenting style that was authoritarian (describing an individual, especially but not limited to one in a position of authority, who uses or favors restrictive, autocratic methods when interacting with others).

This isn’t the same as authoritative parenting (a style in which the parent or caregiver encourages a child’s autonomy yet still places certain limitations on behavior). Concerning my dad’s authoritarian parenting style; he ostensibly assumed an egotistical role as a deity (e.g., Jehovah).

In essence, he rigidly demanded perfection (the quality or state of being perfect—being entirely without fault or defect). As I couldn’t live up to his inflexible principles and standards, I turned to drawing as a creative outlet for coping, regarding the environment within which I was raised.

Provided this context, when recently listening to a podcast episode in which Joe Rogan spoke with Chris Williamson, the matter of perfectionism was discussed in contrast to excellence (the quality of being excellent—very good of its kind), as Rogan stated:

The idea of perfectionism, like, what are we talking about? If you’re talking about pursuit of an…in excellence of a sport, or some sort of a discipline, some sort of a thing you do; people have always done that. […]

You’re gonna be depressed and anxious, if you’re trying to achieve perfection. But, I don’t know if that’s bad. Like, it’s really about whether or not you can manage your fucking mind! […]

Excellence is a better term. You’re striving for excellence. Perfection is not possible in anything. There’s no…there’s nothing perfect that, no matter what you do, there’s always going to be a failure. It’s a human error. […] You’re never gonna be perfect. You’re always gonna miss. It’s just humans. There’s gonna be error. […] But there is excellence.

I concur with the distinction outlined by Rogan. To be perfect is to be godly. However, fallible human beings aren’t deities. Therefore, striving for perfection—when one can never be perfect—is irrational (not in accordance with both logic and reason). You’ll never be perfect!

From time to time, composite client X may push back on this claim by stating, “But, I scored 100 out of 100 on an exam,” or, “I completed the task of 10-pin bowling by knocking down all pins,” egotistically concluding, “That means that I was able to attain perfection.”

These and other examples describe the quality of being very good of its kind (i.e., excellence), yet the fallible human being who completes various tasks doesn’t do so without faults or defects of character (i.e., perfectly), because no living organic being is capable of perfection.

When teaching this lesson, I note that REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding your circle of control and USA, you may first admit that you aren’t perfect. Concerning your circle of influence and UOA, you may then conclude that other people are also imperfect. Relating to your circle of concern and ULA, you may also reason that life is flawed.

Now, pertaining to your area of no concern, the imaginary realm in which both perfection and excellence are literally synonymous, you may attain perfection as much as a Caucasian deity that sits from upon high, for some reason requiring clothing, because you’ve achieved godly status.

I’ve worked with clients who, despite my attempts at persuasion for rational thinking, have concluded that they are as gods. In fact, client Y once outright declared oneself to be “God,” without psychosis (an abnormal mental state involving significant problems with reality testing).

Do you also entertain delusion (an often highly personal idea or belief system, not endorsed by one’s culture or subculture, that is maintained with conviction in spite of irrationality or evidence to the contrary)? If not, then I encourage you not to pursue unattainable perfection!

Now, regarding excellence, there are various types which you may choose to pursue, such as sporting, beauty, moral and ethical, cultural or societal, intellectual, and so on. Regarding this matter, one source states:

Aristotle and the Greek philosophical tradition had one and the same word for these two ideas: excellence was virtue, and virtue was excellence. According to Aristotle there were two types of excellence:

Excellence [or virtue], then, being of two kinds, intellectual and moral, intellectual excellence in the main owes its birth and its growth to teaching (for which reason it requires experience and time), while moral excellence comes about as a result of habit….

The APA defines habit as “a well-learned behavior or automatic sequence of behaviors that is relatively situation specific and over time has become motorically reflexive and independent of motivational or cognitive influence—that is, it is performed with little or no conscious intent.”

When attempting to achieve perfectionism through the habit of drawing, I actually attained artistic excellence. Unfavorably, with my dad’s authoritarian scripts playing within my mind, the product of my artistic excellence was never quite good enough. Alas, I wasn’t perfect!

Now, I invite you to healthily settle for attainable excellence, rather than unhealthily pursuing unattainable perfection. Unless you succumb to delusional thinking, believing that you’re a god among fallible human beings, then you would do well to abandon perfectionism! Amen.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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