Speculation: We Must Be Doing Something Right

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

When recently listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Dark Feel, I heard her spin the track “Something Right” by Luttrell, featuring vocals of Molly Moonwater, from the album Life at Full Speed (2024). Lyrics include “we must be doing something right.”

What type of demandingness expression is this? Is it flexible or inflexible? Is it self-disturbing or not? To better understand the cited lyric, consider the following options:

·  Absolutistic – These self-disturbing beliefs are inflexible, commanding, and largely unhelpful. As an example, “You absolutely must be doing something right by the time I make contact with you!”

·  Conditional – Like absolutistic beliefs, these assumptions tend to be rigid, authoritative, and mostly unproductive. For instance, “Either you must be doing something right by the time I make contact with you, or you must suffer the consequences!”

·  Recommendatory – These recommended beliefs aren’t absolute or conditional, as they typically don’t cause self-disturbance. As an example, “You should wipe after pooping.”

·  Preferential – Somewhat similar to recommendatory beliefs, preference-based beliefs aren’t self-upsetting. Unlike recommendations which mirror a form of advice, preferential beliefs merely suggest a preferred option. For instance, “You preferably shouldn’t shake my hand if you haven’t washed your hands after using the restroom.”

·  Ideal – This form of belief expresses that given circumstance X, then result Y should ideally occur. As an example, if clouds are gray and I hear thunder, then I may conclude, “Ideally, it should rain soon.”

·  Empirical – This type of belief merely conveys a point regarding an outcome. It outlines that what occurred actually should’ve occurred. For instance, “Given that the car was traveling at a velocity of 100 miles per hour, it empirically should’ve been damaged when striking a brick wall.” Sometimes, empirical shoulds are referred to as laws of the universe shoulds.

·  Moral and Ethical – This form of belief relates to consideration of morals (of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior) and ethics (based on morals, conforming to accepted standards of conduct). Although people can and do self-disturb with these beliefs, these prescriptions can also serve a helpful purpose. As an example, “I believe it’s wrong to murder people [moral]; therefore, from an ethical standpoint, I shouldn’t commit criminal homicide.”

·  Legal – Legal matters are often predicated on morals and ethics. Nevertheless, this locale-specific form of legal should or shall belief addresses what is mandated by law. According to one source, “In just about every jurisdiction, courts have held that ‘shall’ can mean not just ‘must’ and ‘may’, but also ‘will’ and ‘is’.” For instance, “In Texas, you legally shall not commit criminal homicide.”

These various forms of belief initially took time for me to fully grasp. Now, in consideration of the song “Something Right”, I offer a finer point of demandingness that combines flexible use of conditional and ideal beliefs.

This matter regards speculation which the American Psychological Association defines as “conjectural thinking that is not necessarily supported by scientifically determined evidence” and “a loosely supported theory or explanation.” At this point, further definitions may be useful.

Conjecture is defined as inference formed without proof or sufficient evidence. An inference is merely a conclusion or opinion that is formed because of known facts or evidence. Bear in mind that inferences are based on imperfect information available at the time.

For example, if I look out the window and notice water droplets on the ground, I may infer that rain caused the moisture to appear. However, a sprinkler also could’ve been responsible for the water droplets. Thus, conjectural thinking isn’t supported by scientifically determined evidence.

This leads to consideration of abstraction, which is the act or process of abstracting—relating to or involving general ideas or qualities rather than an actual object, person, etc. The abstract concept of unscientific conjecture is informative, though it remains open to question.

Also, we may consider hypothetical information, which is related to involving or being based on a suggested idea or theory (a hypothetical structure explaining or relating to an observed set of facts). Because people often mistake “theory” for “hypothesis,” allow me to clarify.

A hypothesis is a proposed explanation for something, such as a phenomenon of unknown cause, that is tentatively assumed in order to test whether it agrees with facts that are known or can be determined. In short, a hypothesis is simply a predicted or anticipated outcome.

Presuming you understand these matters of context, I invite you to entertain the notion that some conditional and ideal beliefs are flexible. As an example, “If you want to improve your knowledge of REBT, then you must continue reading this blogpost.”

A condition is a premise upon which the fulfillment of an agreement depends, as that last example uses a conditional if-then form (sometimes expressed as either-or). Likewise, the example uses an ideal conclusion (i.e., you ideally must continue reading this blogpost).

In a blogpost entitled You Must Not Know How We Move, I noted how flexible ideal “should” propositions are a smaller variety of the broader conditional category of demandingness, as an ideal script specifies a relationship between ideal conditions and a particular outcome.

As such, regarding the track “Something Right”, it’s a matter of speculation to state that “we must be doing something right,” because this flexible ideal-conditional belief serves as a proposed explanation that is hypothetical in nature and isn’t entirely supported by evidence.

For example, if you and I go on a hike and by happenstance are able to witness one of the most amazing sunsets of our lifetimes, I may speculate, “We must be doing something right!” Rather than a prescriptive expression, my statement is merely descriptive. It also isn’t evidence-based.

While I took a somewhat lengthy path to arrive at the current point within this post, I hope the end result is as illuminating as the sunset in that last example. Speculative shoulds, musts, oughts, and derivatives thereunto are flexible ideal-conditional beliefs.

There’s typically not any self-disturbance involved with this sort of assumption. If I’ve confused you and you’d like clarity about the ABC model and how different forms of belief can cause particular outcomes, then I look forward to hearing from you.

If I don’t hear from you, then I’ll assume that I must be doing something right.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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