You Gots to Chill

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

On their classic debut album Strictly Business (1988), archetypal hip hop duo EPMD (Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith) released the track “You Gots to Chill” which featured a sample from “More Bounce to the Ounce” by Zapp & Roger, and “Jungle Boogie” by Kool & the Gang.

On the EPMD song, the term “chill” was used throughout the 80s and 90s as a means of expressing relaxation or indicating a calming effect. When paired with flexible or inflexible demandingness scripts, the term has different meanings. For instance, Smith states on the song:

I’m the P-double-E-M-D-E-E

And one thing I hate is a bitin’ MC

When I enter the party, suckas always form a line

Then they ease their way up and try to bite my lines

I did thousands of shows, dissed many faces

And deal with new jacks on a one-to-one basis

But every now and then, a sucka MC gets courageous

And like an epidemic, it becomes contagious

But never the least, they all R.I.P.

For all those unaware — it means Rest in Peace

‘Cause M.D. stands for Microphone Doctor

And the capital P (Capital P), capital M (Capital M)

Capital D-E-E’s, no doubt, the chief rocker

Don’t like to get ill, but if I have to, I kill

So believe me, boy... you gots to chill!

In the braggadocio style of rap common for its time, Smith’s cited verse essentially expresses lyrical prowess. He’s apparently the best. If you’re a lesser emcee that believes otherwise, well… then Smith “don’t like to get ill,” meaning that he doesn’t enjoy copping an attitude.

In fact, the lyricist maintains that he will “kill” if he must (i.e., “have to”), so it’s best that “you gots to chill,” as a sucka MC. Ergo, Smith utilizes a flexible recommendatory should statement by inviting sucka rappers to “chill” so that the lyricist doesn’t inflexibly “have to” kill them.

Therefore, Smith uses both flexible and inflexible forms of demandingness. Presuming you understand the distinction between these two forms of demands, I invite you to pay closer attention to your use of “gots to,” “gotta,” “have to,” and so forth. Are you using flexible beliefs?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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