You See My Face, You Better Move

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

For the relatively short amount of time I knew of his music, I enjoyed efforts of the late rapper Pop Smoke. Regarding his ultimate demise, one source reports:

On February 19, 2020, Bashar Barakah Jackson, better known as Pop Smoke, was renting a house through Airbnb owned by The Real Housewives star Teddi Mellencamp and her husband, Edwin Arroyave, in Hollywood Hills, California.

At around 4:30 a.m., five hooded men, including one wearing a ski mask and carrying a handgun, broke into the house through a second-story balcony. The intruders held a gun to a woman’s head and threatened to kill her. Shortly thereafter, the woman heard the men shoot Jackson three times after an altercation.

The LAPD received news of the home invasion from a call from the East Coast. Police arrived at the home six minutes later and found Jackson with multiple gunshot wounds. He was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where doctors performed a thoracotomy on the left side of his chest.

A few hours later, he was pronounced dead. He was 20 years old. On February 21, the Los Angeles County Department of Medical Examiner-Coroner revealed that the cause of Jackson’s death was a gunshot wound to the chest.

When thinking about inflexible derivatives of demandingness, I’m reminded of Pop Smoke’s 2020 mixtape Meet the Woo 2, released only days before his death. The album contains the track “Sweetheart”, featuring Fivio Foreign, as lyrics state:

Niggas know they gettin’ boomed (Niggas know they gettin’ boomed)

You see my face, you better move (Baow)

Bullets flyin’ through the room (Baow, ayy)

They want static, I’m in the mood (Ayy)

For context, Pop Smoke was a drill rapper. Regarding this subgenre of hip hop, one source states:

Drill is a branch of rap music that can be compared to trap music. Both are about life in the streets, but while trap music is about the trap (hence the name) and the drug dealing side of things, drill music is about the violent side of the streets. Drill is aggressive, dark, violent, and about guns and shootings.

It’s called drill music, because the term “drill” refers to killing, doing a hit, or retaliating. For example, if someone says, “We doin’ a drill,” it means someone ‘bouta get shot up. These aggressive themes are evident in music videos.

Drill rappers are well-known for verbally producing the audible sound of gunfire (e.g., “baow”). On the song “Sweetheart”, the inflexible demand “you see my face, you better move” is punctuated with the verbal sound “baow”—indicating the rigidity of this prescription.

In essence, the listener is instructed that if ‘you see my face, you absolutely must move,’ because no alternative option is available. Although I wasn’t present during his murder and have no personal knowledge of the event, I imagine Pop Smoke died in accord with a similar demand.

That’s no way to live, pardon the pun. Yet, as evidenced by the Pop Smoke example, that’s one way to die. Presuming you understand how rigid derivatives of demandingness have consequences, I invite you to reconsider irrational beliefs according to which you live and die.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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