Escapism, Escape Behavior, Avoidance, and Avoidance Behavior
On the album Stop Looking for Noise (feat. Don Dubious) (2022), by lyricist Radio B and producer Don Dubious, is the song “Stop Looking for Noise” on which the lyricist states, “Nigga, put yo phone down. Stop looking for noise. Everything is all right now.”
Unless my interpretation of the lyrics is wrong, Radio B uses wordplay regarding the phrase everything is alright (or everything is all right)—meaning that all is well, and instead suggests that all things in life (i.e., “everything” and “all”) are currently taking place (i.e., “right now”).
I concur with this interpreted suggestion. Life is taking place in this very moment (i.e., “everything is all right now”). As well, I appreciate the lyricist’s allusion to escapism, which the American Psychological Association (APA) thusly defines:
[T]he tendency to escape from the real world to the delight or security of a fantasy world. Escapism may reflect a periodic, normal, and common impulse, as might be seen in harmless daydreams, or it may be evidence of or accompany symptoms of neurosis or more serious mental pathology.
Sometimes referred to a checking out, tuning out, or zoning out, escapism which is addressed on the track is the process of distracting oneself from the immediacy of this moment. In particular, Radio B denounces use of smartphones for escape behavior, which the APA thusly defines:
[A]ny response designed to move away from or eliminate an already present aversive stimulus. Escape behavior may be mental (through fantasy or daydreams) or behavioral (physical withdrawal from a noxious stimulus or a conditioned response, as when an animal taps a lever in order to terminate a shock).
When bored, stressed, or experiencing some other unwanted circumstance, many people reach for their phones to escape. In this way, they’re also practicing avoidance, which the APA thusly defines:
[T]he practice or an instance of keeping away from particular situations, environments, individuals, or things because of either (a) the anticipated negative consequence of such an encounter or (b) anxious or painful feelings associated with them.
Psychology brings several theoretical perspectives to the study of avoidance: its use as a means of coping; its use as a response to fear or shame; its existence as a personality style or predisposition; and its existence as a component in anxiety disorders.
While I argue that not all avoidance is unhealthy (e.g., checking one’s phone on a lengthy airline trip), as some avoidance may be healthy (e.g., choosing not to consume processed sugar), many people have conditioned themselves not to tolerate any boredom, stress, or unwanted situations.
In so doing, they practice avoidance behavior, which the APA defines as “any act or series of actions that enables an individual to avoid or anticipate unpleasant or painful situations, stimuli, or events, including conditioned aversive stimuli.” Per Radio B, “Nigga, put yo phone down.”
Of course, I acknowledge that avoiding escapism regarding a smartphone is somewhat contradictory to the topic at hand, if one concludes that all escape or avoidance behavior is unhealthy, though that’s not the case I’ve made herein. Thus, this is a subjective matter.
Radio B and I subjectively believe that it’s somewhat wasteful to constantly escape from life by continually practicing avoidance of this moment. You may disagree. In any event, this topic will now serve as a psychoeducational lesson for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.
Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):
REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).
Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.
Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world, wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance (LFT), awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.
Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
From an A-C view, when there’s not a lot of stimuli keeping you interested or entertained (Action), your mind may wander (Consequence). Still, a B-C connection, specifically regarding LFT, causes the Consequence of escapism, escape behavior, avoidance, or avoidance behavior.
For example, your mind wanders (Action), you Believe, “Boredoms is worthless [G], and I can’t stand it [L], because it’s awful [A], as I must do something so that I won’t be bored [D], and this causes the Consequence of escapism, escape behavior, avoidance, or avoidance behavior.
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Rather than the LFT narrative that underlies escapism, escape behavior, avoidance, or avoidance behavior, you could use a high frustration tolerance (HFT) script, such as, “Even though I don’t like being bored, I can stand it,” to foster resilience. Still, this HFT Effective belief isn’t enough!
Therefore, to genuinely demonstrate to yourself that you can tolerate boredom, stress, or unwanted situations, you recommendatorily should attain emotional insight by then repeatedly subjecting yourself to unwanted situations (e.g., refraining from phone use on a flight).
Show yourself, again and again, that you can stand undesirable circumstances! Otherwise, you’ll merely understand and believe in REBT without practicing it. As expressed by Radio B, “Nigga, put yo phone down. Stop looking for noise. Everything is all right now.” Be resilient.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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