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There Is No Room Left for Blaming Gods or Being Hostile to Others

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 3 days ago
  • 8 min read

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius, who stated, “If we judge as good and evil only the things in the power of our own choice, then there is no room left for blaming gods or being hostile to others” (page 343). Here, a number of definitions may be useful.

 

First, the American Psychological Association (APA) defines judgment as “the capacity to recognize relationships, draw conclusions from evidence, and make critical evaluations of events and people.” As an example, you’ve judged whether or not this blogpost is of interest to you.

 

Second, good in this context is defined as being of a favorable character or tendency. Likewise, evil is defined as morally reprehensible. These terms are subjective (peculiar to a particular individual). For instance, you may ultimately conclude that this post is subjectively good or evil.

 

Third, the APA defines power as “the capacity to influence others, even when they try to resist this influence.” For example, I’m currently trying to influence your mind to consider the benefits of Stoic principles which are interwoven with REBT. Yet, my power may prove unsuccessful.

 

Fourth, choice is defined as the act or power of choosing—to select freely, and after consideration. For instance, you may choose to forgo reading the rest of this blogpost. You very well could judge my application of definitional explanations as subjectively unappealing.

 

Fifth, blame in this context is defined as finding fault with someone or something, as in to place responsibility or accountability regarding someone or something. Blaming others for one’s own reactions to events in life is something addressed in REBT, as I’ll delve into this more in a bit.

 

Sixth, gods are defined as beings of perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness who is worshipped as creator and ruler of the universe. Of such beings, I remain agnostic (a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality, such as a supreme being, is unknown and probably unknowable).

 

Lastly, the APA defines hostility as “the overt expression of intense animosity [a strong feeling of dislike or hatred] or antagonism [actively expressed opposition or hostility] in action, feeling, or attitude.” As an example, you may be hostile in relation to your beliefs about this blogpost.

 

Per Aurelius’ view, if people judge as good and evil only the things in the power of their own choice, then there is no room left for blaming gods or being hostile to others. Now, I’ll discuss personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”), as opposed to blame.

 

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

 

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.

 

Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

 

From an A-C view, you read this blogpost (Action) and discover that I favor defining the terms I use (Consequence). However, if you reject personal ownership of your hostile reaction to this post, blaming me for your response, then you’ve failed to conceptualize the B-C connection.

 

For instance, you find that I define many terms (Action), you Believe, “Deric is worthless [G], and I can’t stand him [L], because it’s awful how he over-explains the terms he uses [A], so I ought to punch him in the face [D],” as you then become hostile toward me (Consequence).

 

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

 

Regarding Aurelius’ perspective, when taking personal ownership for your own judgment of people, places, and other things, then there’s no room left for blaming gods (or bloggers) or being hostile to others (like me). Now, I invite you to practice this Stoic outlook in your life.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use

 

References:

 

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Hostility. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/hostility

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Judgment. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/judgment

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Power. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/power

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

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Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance

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Hollings, D. (2026, April 4). Objective reality. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/objective-reality

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Hollings, D. (2025, April 15). This cake smells unpleasant. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/this-cake-smells-unpleasant

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Hollings, D. (2025, July 18). We decide whether to label something good or bad. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ we-decide-whether-to-label-something-good-or-bad

Hollings, D. (2025, January 10). Who is the one to blame? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/who-is-the-one-to-blame

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Marcus Aurelius. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Aurelius

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© 2024 by Hollings Therapy, LLC 

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