These, TOO, Already

[DISCLAIMER]

Piche, Awwwready

In 2015, I sat with a work colleague (“Piche”) who was a fellow military veteran. I once served in the United States (U.S.) Marine Corps, as she once served in the U.S. Army. While working for the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, we discovered that we had various commonalities.

For instance, Piche and I were both assigned to Fort McClellan at one point. I was there due to military police training, as she was there for chemical, biological, radiological, and nuclear training. As well, we were relatively close in age, as we both sought licensure for social work.

Piche immigrated to the U.S., emigrating from Central America, as I once lived in South America. As well, I’m biracial (white and black), as Piche was married to a man of similar racial composition. Additionally, I was born and mostly raised in Texas. Piche immigrated to Texas.

For a time, Piche and I were close friends. As we sat and discussed our shared knowledge, wisdom, and understanding about having grown up in Texas, I affirmed one of Piche’s comments by saying “already,” though with dragged out pronunciation to say “awwwready.”

“What?” she replied, to my surprise. Apparently, she wasn’t familiar with the Texas hip hop term “already,” about which one source expresses, “Short for ‘you already know.’ Used in Texas slang, it’s an affirmation.” Piche and I may’ve shared commonalities, though slang wasn’t one.

Pimp C

As I hail from Bomb City, I learned a number of slang terms from Port Arthur, Texas hip hop duo Underground Kingz (UGK), comprised of lyricist Bun B and the late rapper Pimp C. When describing the term “already” to Piche, she swore that “no one” in Houston used the phrase.

That’s the city to which Piche immigrated in her childhood. I then provided evidence to invalidate her claim. I noted the song “Break ‘Em Off” by Texas rapper Paul Wall, featuring rapper Lil’ Keke and produced by Mr. Lee, from the album Get Money, Stay True (2007).

Paul Wall began his third verse by stating, “Already! I’m higher than a satellite, crawlin’ like a baby. Maneuvering through the traffic, like I’m Tracy McGrady,” describing his apparent under-the-influence status while slowly maneuvering through the roadways of Houston.

Although the song was popular throughout Texas, during the days of MySpace, Piche claimed not to have ever heard it. I then referenced a 2005 Cheddar DVD interview that featured Pimp C. A number of times throughout the interview, the rapper stated “already.” Piche was unaware.

It was clear to me that my work colleague maintained ignorance (lacking of knowledge, education, or awareness). When she reportedly asked her teenaged niece about the phrase, even that person had no clue about the term. Noteworthy, Pimp C also stated in his interview:

I’ma stay positive out here. I’ma do the right thangs. You know, I’m not gonna make no moves to put myself in the cross[hairs] where these people can just cross me out [defeat], and be right. You know what I mean?

But, but, at the same time, I ain’t gon’ let nobody hurt me. I’m not gon’ let nobody hurt my family. And I will kill you if you come around my kids with that bullshit. You know what I mean?

So, you know, if that mean[s] a nigga got to go back and sit down for a minute, well, it’ll go down. And I’ll go, and I’ll come back, and we ‘bout some mo’ business, and all that ol’ shit. You know what I mean?

And that ain’t gangsta talk. That’s just real talk, you know? Family is… family is the most important thang. Yeah, and you got to look out for yo’ own. And we ain’t gon’ let nobody snatch us off our main frame, or take nothin’ from us! And we ain’t kissin’ o ass to be accepted.

But at the same time, we gon’ lay back. We gon’ be cool. We’re not gon’ pick nothin’… no fights wit’ nobody. We not gon’ run up to no other man, fights, or get involved in no bullshit. We gon’ keep it positive, and we gon’ to, you know, keep it pimpin’.

In his own way, I imagine that the late Pimp C was spreading a subjectively positive message about self-defense, if necessary, through living as peaceful an existence in the meantime when striving for success with one’s own interests and goals. Awwwready!

REBT

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), my main approach to personal and professional care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I sometimes incorporate teachings learned from the Marine Corps.

For instance, the Pimp C quote came to mind when recently discussing with client X the matter of self-defense (a plea of justification for the use of force or for homicide, or the act of defending oneself, one’s property, or a close relative). Unsurprisingly, this topic occasionally comes up.

As client X understands, believes in, and frequently practices REBT tools regarding the ABC model and unconditional acceptance (UA), I used open, honest, and vulnerable communication about similar sentiment expressed by Pimp C. I’ll now share a version of this dialogue with you.

Client X: I use the ABC model and UA, and sometimes, I think, it’s necessary not to use these tools.

Me: Can you provide an example?

Client X: I’ve done so much better by using REBT, much better than I used to. Still, I think there are some times when the tools may not be appropriate. Like, if someone is literally doing physical harm to me. I’m not going to ask myself what I believe, or unconditionally accept violence being done to me.

Me: Then, it sounds like you’ve made a self-determined and autonomous decision.

Client X: Yeah. Do you think… is it unhealthy for me to want to defend myself?

Me: Unhealthy? No. Allow me to be candid.

Client X: Please do.

Me: As you know, I was in the Marine Corps. It was then, when training for the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program, that I was taught to use “weapons of opportunity.” For instance, I learned how to defend myself using a belt, knives and firearms, and even a Skilcraft ink pen! I won’t bore you with the details.

Client X: [laughs]

Me: Even though the word “of” is often excluded from acronyms, I was in the Marines. We used simple terms which were memorable. So, “weapons of opportunity” were taught to me using the term “WOO.”

Client X: [laughs]

Me: Exactly! “WOO, we get to use anything available for self-defense,” is something a young Marine may remember. Now, as this anecdote concerns you, I think of the acronym “TOO,” as in “tools of opportunity.”

Client X: I can remember that!

Me: Good! Now, with TOO, you can use the ABC model or UA if or when necessary. Importantly, I encourage daily practice of REBT. This is how I approach mental health in my personal life, too.

Client X: TOO?

Me: I see you’re gonna have fun with this acronym. Yes, TOO. Say, for instance, that I’m out and about. Let’s say that I’m shopping at the grocery store. If someone does something that I don’t like, then I can use UA. I unconditionally accept others, and unconditionally accept life. I also unconditionally accept myself for having an unpleasant reaction.

Client X: I do that, too!

Me: Already! [client X didn’t recognize the slang term, just as Piche didn’t] I know you do. Now, suppose that this person in the store comes up and verbally confronts me, calling me all sorts of names—like a ‘C-U-Next-Tuesday.’

Client X: [laughs]

Me: I can use the ABC model to quickly dispute the irrational beliefs which I may be using. Remember, REBT recognizes the distinction between negative and healthy reactions, which is referred to as self-distress, and negative and unhealthy reactions, which is called self-disturbance. Whether I tell myself rational or irrational beliefs makes a difference, as I take personal ownership for how I react.

Client X: It’s so hard to use the ABC model in the moment.

Me: Hard? Yes. Impossible? No.

Client X: You’re right.

Me: Now, picture that this imaginary person at the grocery store assaults [the threat or attempt to inflict physical harm] or batters [the actual act of causing harmful or offensive physical contact] me. An example of assault is if the person spits on me. An example of battery is if the person punches me. Maybe the individual even threatens or actually uses a weapon.

Client X: That would be awful!

Me: Would it?

Client X: You’re right. It wouldn’t be awful. It would be unwanted.

Me: Well done! Your reframe is an important distinction. I wouldn’t want to be spat upon, punched, or face a potentially deadly situation from use of a weapon, though assault and battery isn’t like being burned alive in a metal box.

Client X: Now that sounds awful!

Me: You won’t receive an argument from me! So, to make this imaginary scenario as challenging as possible, while also somewhat pragmatic, suppose that this individual at the grocery store punches me in the face. I have tools of opportunity.

I can use the ABC model. I can also use UA. And while I typically don’t provide advice to my clients about what they should, must, or ought to do, I can say what I’d do if I’m being battered.

Client X: Please do, because I just don’t think it’s practical to be battered, as you say.

Me: Some REBT practitioners may disagree with what I’m about to say. Nonetheless, you’re asking about me, not them. For all I care, they can kneel on the floor of the store and beg someone to stop attacking them. Yet, that’s not likely how I’d handle the matter.

If I had an opportunity to get away from this physically assaultive person, then I would. I don’t need to enter into physical combat, of sorts, at a grocery store. Recognize what I’m saying, as it’s a preferable should statement used as a healthy demandingness derivative—“I don’t need to,” is like saying that “I preferably shouldn’t.”

Client X: I get that.

Me: The tools of opportunity which I use may be different than yours, because if this imagined person batters me by putting my life in imminent danger, then I’m going to defend myself. All it takes is a well-aimed punch to the head, and it’s lights out, as I fall to the floor and risk the possibility of death from a secondary blow to the head!

I already have too many head injuries, as is! Thus, I’ll set aside REBT and Stoicism that is interwoven with it. After all, I’m not advocating a form of self-victimization by teaching people to become victims. I’m not even doing that in my own life!

Client X: That makes a lot of sense, because I wouldn’t want to just stand there and be assaulted or battered without at least making an attempt to defend myself.

Me: Bear in mind that during these latter years of my life I try to live as peaceful an existence as possible. If I can walk away from a fight, then good, though I realize that some people simply won’t permit the peaceful option.

Therefore, as we’ve previously discussed, I’m a proponent of the Second Amendment—even though it wasn’t established for self-defense, per se. But, that’s another discussion for another time.

The takeaway here is that these, TOO—these tools of opportunity—may serve me well. Be it the ABC model, UA, firearms, or even a Skilcraft ink pen, I’m going to check the bullshit beliefs I’m using that cause disturbance, seek more favorable beliefs which lead to distress, and then deal with the bullshit others may bring my way if or when they assault or batter me.

Which TOO you use is up to you! In any event, you own whatever outcome you choose. This is why I’m not advising what you should, must, or ought to do. That’s on you!

Client X: Thank you.

Me: Awwwready! [I then explained the meaning of “already” to client X]

Conclusion

Over a decade ago, I met Piche. Although she lived in Houston since immigrating to the U.S., my work colleague, who developed into my close friend, hadn’t heard of the Texas slang term “already.” Years before meeting Piche, I learned of this phrase from Texas hip hop emcees.

Noteworthy, in his own way, I imagine that the late Pimp C spread a subjectively positive message about self-defense by living as peaceful an existence as possible when striving for success with his interests and goals. Awwwready! That’s how I currently live my life, too.

I recently discussed with client X a point of view that reflected Pimp C’s worldview. Taking an opportunity to provide a lesson on REBT, as it pertained to tools of opportunity (TOO), client X was receptive to the information presented in our mental health session.

Now, I invite you to consider what client X and I discussed. These, TOO may benefit you, already! Still, the TOO you use may not be the same as mine. Thus, I encourage you to take personal ownership for whatever TOO you choose. Either way, own your reaction! Awwwready!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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